Not How You Monopolize That Promotion

, , , , , | | Right | July 12, 2019

(I’m working front counter after a certain Monopoly promotion has just ended.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

Customer: *hands me a Monopoly piece flipped down so I can’t see what it is* “I want this.”

Me: *looks at it* “Ma’am, I’m sorry but I can’t give you Pacific Avenue.”

(I have to say, that did make my day better.)

Not Too Chicken To Make Yourself Known

, , , , | | Working | July 12, 2019

(I have been a supervisor at a theater, but I am starting a job at a chicken chain known for excellent customer service. It is my last day at the theater, and as a way of saying goodbye, I have brought a tray of chicken strips from my new job. This chicken chain is still relatively new to our state and is quite new to our area, so many of my coworkers have never tasted it before. My boss takes a few strips and goes to sit down. A minute later, he bellows my name from halfway across the lobby. He doesn’t usually use that tone of voice unless he urgently needs my help, so I hurry over to see what he needs.)

Boss: “This chicken is amazing! This is the best employee-quitting ever!”

(It was one of the highlights of my last shift there, and I’m still laughing about it.)

Taking A Friendly Service To The Next Level

, , , | | Working | July 12, 2019

(I am flying by myself, and I am boarding the plane. I hand my boarding pass to the stewardess.)

Stewardess: “Okay, down here and on the right. And is that for both of you?”

Me: “Both of us?”

Stewardess: “Huh? Oh, sorry, I thought I saw two boarding passes and assumed the lady behind you was with you.”

Me: “Oh, no. Unfortunately, I don’t appear to have any friends.”

(I’m smiling and obviously joking. The stewardess doesn’t react, so I assume my pretty lame attempt at humour has fallen flat or she’s heard this kind of joke before, so I thank her and start to head down the aisle. Then, I hear the lady who’s been behind me speaking to the stewardess.)

Lady: *laughing* “Aw, she doesn’t have any friends on the flight.”

Stewardess: “Wait, is that what she said? Hey! We’ll be your friends! You have friends now!”

(I turned around; she was giving me a thumbs up while the lady was laughing. I’d been in a good mood already, but that made my day.)

Knows Where You Can Shove That Mozzarella Stick

, , , , , | | Working | July 11, 2019

(I’ve just started working in the kitchen of a bingo hall as a food runner, and one of the chefs is eating a mozzarella stick, as it’s quiet. Just as she’s finishing her last mouthful, a senior member of staff comes in.)

Manager: “I hope you paid for that.”

Chef #1: *whilst eating* “Paid for what?”

(The manager turns to the other chef, looking for affirmation.)

Manager: “[Chef #2]?”

Chef #2: “She told me not to say anything.”

(The manager turns to me.)

Manager: “[My Name], remember you’re on probation and I can fire you.”

Me: “I saw nothing. Unless I need it for blackmail.”

Manager: “Okay.”

(He then grabbed a slice of bacon out of the warming tray and started eating it as he left.)

Their Brain Is Toast

, , , | | Working | July 11, 2019

(We are sitting having breakfast when we overhear a waitress taking orders from the table next to ours.)

Customer: “Could I get brown toast with that?”

Waitress: *not ironically* “We only have white, but it looks brown when it’s toasted!”

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