That Name Is A Gob-Stopper

, , | Right | October 15, 2019

(I work at the call center for a national truck rental company. When people call in to get a quote for a truck, we have to ask for their name and phone number. Most people don’t make a fuss about it, but some get angry.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name].”

Customer: “Hi. I’d like to get a quote for a 17′ truck on Saturday.”

Me: “No problem. Can I get your name?”

Customer: “Willie.”

Me: “And your last name?”

Customer: “Wonka.”

(I start giggling.)

Customer: “I get it; you’ve gotta put something in your boxes.”

(We finish up the rest of the quote. He declines to reserve the truck.)

Me: “Well, sir, this is one of the best calls I’ve gotten in a while. Thanks, and have a good day!”

Customer: “No problem, young lady! And from the chocolate factory, thank you!

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Keep Making The Same Boob When Typing

, , , , , | Right | October 15, 2019

I was working computer tech support for a university when we received a call that a woman’s computer had been inserting random spaces into the documents that she was working on. An odd-sounding problem, we couldn’t diagnose it over the phone so one of the techs went over to see the problem firsthand.

The solution was to raise her office chair about one inch.

The problem? Her large breasts kept hitting the spacebar.

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Savings In Disguise

, , , , , , | Romantic | October 15, 2019

(I’m studying to get my certification to sell insurance. A friend sends me a joke and I read it aloud to my boyfriend.)

Me: “Would a Transformer get car insurance or life insurance?”

Boyfriend: *pause* “He can just bundle and save.”

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Hi, My Name Is SkyNet; How Can I Help You Today?

, , , | Right | October 14, 2019

Me: “Good afternoon. This is [My Name]; how may help you?”

Caller: “Are you a robot?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Caller: “Are you a robot or a human?”

Me: “I’m a human, sir.”

Caller: “Are you sure? Because I’ve been talking to robots all day and I want to speak to a human.”

(I start laughing.)

Me: “I assure you, sir, I’m a human. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, you must be human. You laughed; robots don’t laugh.”

Me: “Unless I’m an AI.”

Caller: “Nah, that would be creepy.”

(The rest of the call went on normally and he thanked me for helping him at the end and for not being a robot.)

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I Confess To Being As Mature As A Seven-Year-Old Boy

, , , , , , | Learning | October 13, 2019

(In second grade, my class prepares for first Reconciliation by practicing with our teacher and a nun who works at the church. The teacher or nun sits in the priest’s chair and we go in and have a pretend confession. The rest of the class watches so that we can learn from each other. Naturally, some students decide to have some fun with it.)

Nun: “What sins have you committed?”

Student: *grinning* “I farted in my dad’s face on purpose!”

Nun: “Well, that wasn’t very nice, was it?”

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