Well, Well, Well, How The Turntables…

, , , , , , , | Working | April 26, 2021

I’m buying groceries like usual when an item won’t scan.

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but this item isn’t scanning up.”

Me: “Oh, no problem. I’m not in a rush.”

Cashier: “I guess that must mean it’s free, then!”

Me: “I… Uhhh… Pardon?”

She called for a price check, but I never expected to be on the receiving end of that line!

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Dancing Through Life

, , , , | Working | April 8, 2021

Back in the dark ages before cell phones, I worked in a small retail shop that got 70% of its business by phone order. We still had a retail location fully stocked but only got a handful of people in the store every day.

Then, one week, there were no customers or phone orders. At all. By the third day of this, we had done inventory, dusted everything we could think of, done all the maintenance that was pending, stocked all the new merchandise, called all of our holds to pick up their orders, and had officially run out of things to do. We couldn’t even pretend there was anything productive to do.

We were bored out of our minds, and my manager started dancing around the store. Five minutes later, we had a conga line snaking around the store including both of the managers and all the staff on shift. Then, the bell above the door rang. 

Thankfully, the customer had a sense of humor and joined our conga line! We all had a laugh, but sadly, conga lines were then banned from the store.

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For The Next Attempt, Think Outside The Box

, , , , | Right | April 1, 2021

It’s a Monday. I’ve been at work for three or four hours and I’m up a ladder when two guys come up to me.

Guy #1: “Hey, are you busy right now?”

Me: “What can I help you with?”

Honestly, yes, I’m kind of busy, but it’s also my job to help customers.

Guy #1: “I bought this box here, and there’s something in it.”

My brain doesn’t fully process this, but I take the box from him, frowning. It looks vaguely like one of our small craft boxes, but I don’t immediately see a price tag. I open it slowly to find a giant fake spider and I don’t say anything.

Guy #1: “What?! You’re not scared?!”

Me: “Of a fake spider? No.”

Guy #1: “The girls up front told us there was someone working back here who might be scared.”

Me: “Well, I’m sure they meant me, but I’m not.”

Guy #1: “Like, you’re not afraid of anything?”

Me: “I’m afraid of things but not obviously fake spiders.”

It took another few comments, but the guys both left. One of my coworkers came back and asked me if they’d approached me, and she told me that she knew something was up when the one guy approached her and the other had his phone out filming. They apparently tried to tell her their YouTube channel. We just laughed about it.

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It’s A Saaaaga

, , , , , | Right | March 31, 2021

I work in a daycare. Our little four-year-old girls are playing on the floor, lying on their bellies and moving some stuffed animals and dolls around. When I move a little closer, I hear them softly singing.

Girl #1: “Here’s a bear! He’s in love with the princess, but he’s just a bear, so what if the princess doesn’t love him back? Buuuuut he’s so big and strong and very, very soooooooft…”

Girl #2: “Theeeeeeeeeee princess doesn’t know the bear is so in looooooooove with her because she is so buuuuusyyyyyy making a new dreeeeesssss… buuuut she loves the bear because he is so soooooooooft… buuuuut she also has a cat who is soooooooft… What are they going to dooooooo?”

Girl #3: “Theeee caaaat was going for a waaaaaaaaalk and then he saw the beaeaear… and the bear was cryyyyyyyyyying and the cat was sooooorry for him, so the cat bumped its head into the bear to tell him that he liiiiiiiiiiked him. Now the bear stopped cryyyyying.”

Girl #2: “And the bear was cuuuuuddling the caaaaaaat…”

Girl #1: “And the princess saaaaaaw them and she went ooooover to them and she wanted to cuddle boooooth of them…”

Girl #2: “And then there was a very nice priiiince who wanted to cuddle them alllll.”

All Three Girls: “They were all so haaaappyyyyyyy!”

Too cute!

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Raisin Them Right

, , , , , | Right | March 29, 2021

It’s my birthday and I’m at the daycare where I work. I give the children each a little box of raisins.

Six-Year-Old Boy: “I will not be eating all the raisins. How about I eat half of them now and then I get to eat all those other raisins another time? Now that is a very good idea I have.”

Two minutes later:

Six-Year-Old Boy: “It didn’t exactly work. I did eat all the raisins after all. They are very good raisins, you know. Very good indeed. That’s what made it so hard, of course. I got to eat a lot of raisins now. That was lovely. I enjoyed that very much. I’m all out of raisins now. That’s too bad because maybe I’ll want to eat more raisins later and I won’t be able to now. Oh! You know what, [My Name]? I’ll keep the box! Now isn’t that just the best idea, [My Name]? That way I’ll have the box and I can think about the wonderful raisins I liked so much!”

About two hours later:

Six-Year-Old Boy: “[MY NAME]! I FOUND ONE MORE RAISIN IN THE BOX! I GOT TO EAT ANOTHER RAISIN AFTER ALL!”

That kind of joy for life is my new goal in life now.

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