The Golden Age Of Gaming

, , , , , , | Working | December 21, 2017

(I go into the electronics store a few times a month and get to know most of the staff. I’m wheelchair-bound, and my beard is iron grey and white, so I’m pretty distinctive. A few days ago they hired a bunch of new people for the holidays. Since I’ve been looking for a new PC game, I am going through their display when one of these very young employees approaches:)

Employee: “Looking for a game for your grandson?”

Me: “I’m sorry?” *just blown away by the question*

Employee: “You know, video games? Computer games?”

Me: “Oh!” *catching on that due to my age he was under the impression that I was too old to know video games* “No, I don’t know much about them things. Can you explain them?”

Employee: “Well, people play these games on these machines.”

Me: “Oh! Like the ones with the typewriters hooked up to the TVs?”

Employee: “Yes! Exactly! They use the computer and these things called programs.”

(This actually goes on for a good five minutes, with him explaining to an old cripple all about these new-fangled contraptions called PCs. Unfortunately for me, but fortunate for the employee, a manager starts overhearing the conversation and comes over to investigate. I see her walk up behind this clueless employee, silently dying with laughter, and she has to wipe away tears before she lets her be presence known.)

Manager: “Um, why are you talking to him like he is clueless as to what computers and games are? He makes half the backgrounds, screensavers, and custom content for most of the games we carry. He is the last person you ever want to treat like that.”

Employee: “You can’t be serious. I mean isn’t he a little too… you know… to know much about games?”

Me: “You mean, I’m too old to know much about games?” *I fill in the blanks for him* “I’m too old to know much about skins, meshes, animations, and the like?”

Employee: “Um, well, I just saw you looking there, and I didn’t know.”

Manager: “Maybe you’ve learned a bit of a lesson in preconceived notions and jumping to conclusions, and hopefully a little about discrimination of age.”

Employee: “Well… I’ve got to take care of something…”

(And away he ran! The second he was far enough away the manager burst out laughing again and asked how long I was going to keep the kid on the hook. I told her just a couple of more minutes because I was having too much fun with him. That kid will never hear the end of his gaffe and I may immortalize it in my next DLC. I’ll just leave his name out of it.)

You’re Never Too Old For Santa Claus

, , , , | Related | December 20, 2017

(I’m visiting home from university and I’m trying to put Christmas gifts together. I have the idea for my sister and me to get a picture with Santa, frame it, and give it to my mom for Christmas. I scope out a local mall. My sister says she’ll do it but gives me a hard time leading up to it.)

Sister: “You want to go early on a Sunday?”

Me: “Well, that’s the only time we can do it, based on your work schedule.”

Sister: “Argh, fine, but it’s going to be super busy.”

Me: “Well, it’s a smaller mall and we’re going early. Maybe it won’t be that bad.”

Sister: “Okay, but if it’s really busy we’re not doing it.”

Me: “Okay, that’s fine.”

(She keeps saying this up to the day we go, and I just chalk it up to her being annoyed by the potential busy crowds. We get to the mall and walk to where pictures with Santa take place, and there is absolutely no one there.)

Me: “Oh, yay! This is perfect. Let’s go!”

(I then turned to my sister and noticed she was turning beet red. It never once occurred to me that my sister was embarrassed by this idea, and she was trying to play it off like she was just annoyed. I managed to get her to pose with Santa, red-faced and all, and my mom LOVED it. She still sets out the picture every Christmas, and my sister never lets me live it down.)

The Menu Is Mutual

, , , , , , | Working | December 20, 2017

(My husband is picking up dinner at a local restaurant, which has recently changed its menu. A little confusion occurs.)

Husband: *muttering* “I hate this new menu!”

(Through the speaker he hears an employee yell:)

Employee: “So do we!”

Sounds Like Soggy Stockings To Me

, , , , , , , , | Related | December 20, 2017

(My partner and I don’t do Christmas, but due to over-saturation in the media, our three-year-old daughter knows all about it. She is also a very sweet and observant kid.)

Daughter: “Mama, what do you want to ask Santa to bring for Christmas?”

Me: “Nothing. I already have everything I need.”

Daughter: “Maybeeee… coffee.”

Me: *laughs* “That’s a good present.”

Daughter: “Daddy, what do you want to ask Santa to bring for Christmas?”

Partner: “Nothing. I have everything I need.”

Daughter: “Maybeeee… Gatorade.”

(We laughed. The kid knows our favorite drinks!)

Gotta Marry Them All

, , , , , | Learning | December 20, 2017

(I am a teacher, and I go by “Miss” since I’m not married. One of my students realizes that “Miss” means I’m not married and gives me this advice.)

Student: “Miss [My Name], you should just get married.”

Me: “Okay, [Student]. I’ll get on that.”

Student: “Good! Also, when you walk down the aisle, you should have the Pokémon theme song playing!”

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