Getting A Dress Down From Sis

, , , , , , | Related | November 15, 2017

(I grew up gay, and since I was little I have loved to dress in women’s clothing rather than men’s. My parents don’t like it, but let me do it. I soon meet the man I would marry and we hit it off. When my tribe allows same-sex marriage, we naturally decide to get married. My twin sister decides to give him The Talk while I’m with my mother, putting on my dress and makeup. One thing to note about my twin sister is she is fiercely protective of me, even going so far as to beat up childhood bullies.)

Twin Sister: “Hey, [Husband].”

Husband: “Oh, hi there, [Twin Sister]. Why are you in here?”

Twin Sister: “Just wanted to let you know something. If you ever make [My Name] feel like s*** for who he is, I’ll know, and I’ll end you. Capisce?”

Husband: “Yeah, capisce…”

(I only want to share that because of something that happened later on. We were in an argument, and my husband decided to attack me where it hurt: my cross-dressing. I left our home crying and decided to call my twin sister to spend the night at her home. She accepted me in and soon left for two hours, coming back with some food for us to eat. The next morning arrived and the doorbell rang. I answered to find [Husband] looking as if he had been put through the wringer. I was confused until he flinched when my sister leaned on the doorway behind me. It all made sense after that. I soon forgave him and so did [Twin Sister]. We never got into an argument that bad again, and he has never insulted my cross-dressing again.)

1 Thumbs

Mustard All Your Strength To Not Be Mad

, , , , , , , | Related | November 15, 2017

(My eighteen-month-old son has found out about how doors open. He loves to slam the garage door, and he likes to hold the refrigerator door open. He glares at me whenever I close it, usually a few seconds later, as I like to follow him when he’s headed to the kitchen. One day, I ask his sister to keep her eye on him while I run to the bathroom, but I don’t say anything about following him around to prevent mischief. When I finish in the bathroom, I go into the kitchen to grab something super quick, because I assume the kids are in their playroom, but I find my son in the kitchen with the fridge open. He’s sitting in the middle of what looks like a tiny yellow island, grinning from ear to ear, squeezing mustard out of its container. He looks at me and starts drinking the mustard.)

Me: “[Son]! Mustard is not a drink!”

Son: *stops squeezing the mustard container, and looks at me* “But it’s good, Mama!”

Me: “You may like it, but I don’t think the floor likes it very much.”

(My daughter hears the commotion, and runs out of the playroom.)

Daughter: “Uh… What? Oh, Mommy, he was playing and then I didn’t see him. I thought he was in the tent playing sleepy night-night time.”

Me: “That… That’s not a game. Please help me clean this. And remind me to text Daddy to tell him we need a fridge lock.”

(After cleaning the mess thoroughly, and bathing my son, I sent a text to my husband asking him to pick up a fridge lock on his way home, and I installed it that night. Seven years later, we still tease our son that mustard is not a drink.)


1 Thumbs

Your Sarcasm Has Got Legs

, , , , , , | Friendly | November 10, 2017

(My sister is 15 and has been in a wheelchair for her entire life; her legs won’t move, no matter what. She often gets comments, or asked why she’s in a wheelchair. Fifteen years of that have infused her with pure sass, an unhealthy dose of sarcasm, and a “f***-it-all” attitude. This time we’re shopping for clothes when an old lady marches up to her.)

Lady: “Why are you in a wheelchair? You don’t need that; you’re young and have good legs.”

(My sister then drops herself out of her wheelchair with and begins dragging herself around the shop.)

Sister: “Well, guess you were not so right, after all!”

(Luckily, this time I didn’t have to explain anything to the cashier; she couldn’t breathe due to laughing, anyway.)

This story is part of our Invisible Disability roundup!

Read the next Invisible Disability roundup story!

Read the Invisible Disability roundup!

1 Thumbs

That’s My Story And I’m Stick-ing To It

, , , , , , , , | Related | November 10, 2017

When I was three, my mom was overdue to have my brother and she need to be induced into labor. I was getting impatient, so my parents decided to explain what was going to happen as best they could.

I took the information surprisingly well. I told my mom that everything was going to be okay and that the doctor was going to stick a broomstick down her throat and knock my brother out of her.

1 Thumbs

Eaten Too Many Buns In The Oven

, , , , , , , | Related | November 8, 2017

I’m a heavy-set man in my early forties. My sister has twin boys that are around three years old. She is pregnant with her third child, and her sons are excited to know that they’ll get a little brother.

[Sister] has told them all the classic stories: there’s a baby in Mama’s belly that will come out when he’s big enough, Mama’s belly is so big because babies need room to grow, the boys have to be calmer around Mama so the baby isn’t hurt, etc. She has also told them that if they caress her belly, they’re caressing the baby.

I’m visiting with my sister and we’re sitting on the couch with some space between her and me. [Nephew #1] comes to sit in between us and gently caresses [Sister]’s belly. He then sits back a little and looks at me, and with a smile of recognition caresses my belly exactly the same way.

1 Thumbs