(I am a female teacher. One of my male students has a six-year-old sister who adores him to the point where she won’t allow him past the school gates without a kiss. She’s universally accepted as “too cute.” One day I’m going to my car to get home after a long day and I run into my student, as well as his mother and sister. I wave at him, and then hear:)

Sister: *loudly* “Who is that?”

Student: *also loudly because he wants me to hear* “That’s the prettiest teacher in school, who is going to give me good grades tonight!” *we had a test that day*

(I laugh it off and get in my car, thinking it was a pretty okay joke. The next day, about 15 minutes into class, this student’s phone rings.)

Student: “Oh, d***. I swear this thing was off. Wait, Mom?”

(He takes the call out of worry.)

Student: “Yes, Mom… SHE WHAT?!”

(He jumps up and runs for the door.)

Student: “Sorry, my sister disappeared. She can’t have gone far; I’m going to look for her.”

(The daycare is a one-minute walk away from my classroom, so I rally my class to help out. However, as we take a collective sprint to the gates, we find his sister standing in the schoolyard, looking lost. Upon seeing us she runs past her brother straight to me, looking as adorably angry as only a six-year-old can. She angrily pokes me in the thigh and looks up at me, declaring:)

Sister: “[Brother] is going to marry me, not you!”

(Turns out she was a little jealous.)

(My mom opens my Christmas present to her: an indoor/outdoor thermometer.)

Mom: “Oh, good! I wanted one of these.” *looks at my brother* “What? You have a funny look on your face.”

Brother: “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

Me: “We did not discuss what gifts we bought.”

Brother: “We did not.”

Mom: *opens his gift: another thermometer* “Well, I really, really wanted one!”

(It is Christmas Day, and my brother and I have given our Mum gifts.)

Mum: *opening my gift* “A pizza stone? And a set of [kitchen utensils that make cooking easier]? Thank you, [My Name]. I was going to buy these for myself.”

(She gets handed a present from my brother. She shakes it and hears no sound. Deciding to open it, she uncovers layer upon layer of newspaper. Her face slowly darkens and we hear her muttering “…box full of air…oh, no, wait… it must be full of love,” but she gets to the gift and stares at it blankly before pulling it out.)

Mum: *holding up fork* “Is this it, [Brother]?”

Me: *reaching over and laughing* “No, no, look.”

(I extend the fork to five times its original length. Mum bursts out laughing.)

Mum: “Oh, an extendable fork; that makes everything better!”

(My partner and I are at the store getting some last minute Christmas wrapping supplies.)

Cashier: “Did you find everything okay?”

Me: “Yup, thanks!”

Partner: “This should be the last of the Christmas stuff, finally.”

Me: “Yeah, we got all our presents sorted yesterday.” *turning to partner* “Oh, wait, you didn’t get something for [Partner’s Brother] yet. We could drop by [comic store] to look for something.”

Partner: *shrug* “I don’t really care that much.”

Cashier: *laughing* “I bet [Partner’s Brother] cares!”

Me: “Nah, actually he probably doesn’t. He isn’t super into gifts or super close to his siblings, so it’s not really considered a big deal.”

Partner: “Also, he’s the reason we don’t have heat in our house right now. He’s our landlord and he still hasn’t fixed our heat.”

Cashier: *shocked* “Really?! You have no heat?!”

Partner: “Nope. We have space heaters in our bedrooms, but it’s a big old drafty house, so they don’t do much.”

Me: *trying to be generous to [Partner’s Brother]* “The radiators need to be replaced and he just hasn’t gotten around to fixing them yet. He’s working on it, but—”

Cashier: *indignant* “If that happened at my apartment, oh boy… he wouldn’t be getting s*** from me!”

(My partner never did get around to getting him a Christmas present, and we still don’t have heat in the house. Neither of us are actually mad at him about it but we still think the cashier’s reaction was hilarious!)

(My siblings and I are at the zoo with my parents. It is December, so they have a Santa’s Grotto for kids to visit. I’m about four and my sister is six. Whilst my mum takes my baby brother for a feed, my dad takes my sister and me to see Santa. We both still believe in Santa, but our parents have also told us that the “Santas” you see in shops, etc, are almost never the real one, just his helpers, because he’s too busy to visit everywhere in the run up to Christmas. This is why there are so many different Santas around.)

Santa: “Hello, girls! What can I get you for Christmas?”

Me: “I want a toy dog, please!”

Sister: “Sparkly pens, please!”

Santa: “My, what good choices! I’ll see what I can do!”

Me: *loud whisper* “Daddy, is it really Santa or one of his helpers?”

Santa: *overhearing, turns to my dad with a smile* “Ah, sorry, sir! What did you say your name was?”

Dad: “Oh, it’s [Dad].”

Santa: “Oh, [Dad], of course! I almost didn’t recognise you. How’s the train set I gave you all those years ago? Still got it?”

(My dad tells him that the train set is at his parents’ house. Santa smiles and says he is glad my dad enjoyed it. My sister and I each get to choose a cheap present from Santa’s sack before we leave. As we’re going, I turn to my dad.)

Me: “Daddy, did you really get a train set for Christmas when you were little?”

Dad: “Yes, I did! I played with it all the time. We should ask Granny to get it out when we go round there!”

(In awe, I gazed back at Santa, who smiled and waved at me. Until I became old enough to realise Santa wasn’t real, I was convinced that I had met the true Santa!)