Out Of State, Out Of Mind, Part 2

, , | Related | December 26, 2011

(My brother has just came back from vacation in Virginia. Our sister-in-law, who is 20, sees him pull out cash to pay for the airport parking.)

Sister-in-law: “You switched your Virginia money back to Florida money already?”

 

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Thumbing Up, Dumbing Down

, | Related | December 26, 2011

(My brother and I, who are six years apart in age, are seated together on a sky-lift at an amusement park while one vacation. A couple of teenagers — boy and girl cuddling — pass us going the other way. The teenage boy gives me a ‘bro nod,’ followed by a thumbs-up.)

Me: “Did you see that? That guy just gave you a thumbs-up.”

Brother: “What? Why?”

Me: “I think he thought we were together.”

Brother: “No way.”

Me: “I don’t know whether to be creeped out because he thought we’re dating, or flattered because I’m a thumbs-up.”

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Debt Collection Is All That It Is Cracked Up To Be

, , , , | Right | August 23, 2010

Me: “Hello, may I please speak to Jane Doe?”

Customer: “Which one? One’s my wife and one’s my sister.”

Me: “Jane L. Doe.”

Customer: “That’s my sister. She’s a crackhead. We don’t associate with her anymore. She still owes me hundreds of dollars.”

Me: “Well, do you know anyone who could get in touch with her? Maybe your parents?”

Customer: “My parents don’t talk to her anymore either. And even if they did, I don’t want to hassle them over my good-for-nothing crackhead of a sister. Why do you want to talk to her?”

Me: “I need to speak with her regarding the property on [address].”

Customer: “That’s my house. What Jane Doe did you say you were looking for?”

Me: “Jane L. Doe.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s my wife. She’s not a crackhead. She’s at church.”

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