The Day Was About To (Bath) Bomb

, , , | Hopeless | June 3, 2017

(I am having a really bad day. I had a huge fight with my partner, had two rejections for jobs I really wanted, I am carrying three really heavy bags of shopping with me, and I am starting to feel a depression bout coming on from all the stress. I go into a popular UK bath product shop to get something nice to cheer me up… just as my mother phones me to talk about my mortgage application. She is trying to be helpful, but it is just the wrong time to talk about money, and I feel really overwhelmed. As I get off the phone, I start to cry.)

Shop Assistant: “Are you okay? Come sit down.”

(I vent to her about all the stuff happening that day, and she sits and listens for about ten minutes.)

Me: “I’m so sorry; you’re at work and I’m keeping you from your job.”

Shop Assistant: “Oh, no, it’s been nice to sit down! Why don’t you put your bags behind the counter, and you can have a browse without being weighed down?”

(I do so, and buy a bath bomb and a face-mask. As I pay:)

Shop Assistant: “[Colleague] says she’ll give you a free arm and hand massage, if you have time?”

(I sat with another assistant for at least fifteen minutes. She was amazing, too; working my pressure points and chatting to me about this and that, until I was smiling. I left the shop feeling much better, at least well enough to get home and relax. Before I did, I bought them both a bag of sweets to say thank you. They really went above and beyond for a random customer!)

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Unfiltered Story #87848

, , | Unfiltered | June 2, 2017

(My friend and I are looking at clothes and other items while walking through a store. Note, he is African American and we are both sixteen and respectably dressed. A normal person would think we were harmless)

Customer: *giving us a dirty look, suddenly yells* SECURITY! These thugs are robbing your store! Get these filthy animals arrested!

Me: Excuse me?

Customer: Shut up you stupid their, you and your filthy friend should be locked up! SECURITY!

Friend: Ma’am hold it right there. What you are saying is incredibly racist and we have not stolen a thing!

Customer: Shut the hell up you filthy f*ck, you should go back to Africa where you came from!

(A man in his late twenties taps the woman on her shoulder)

Man: Ma’am, what you have said to these innocent boys is extreme discrimination and abuse, you should shut your mouth!

Customer: P*ss off you f*g, you should learn to shut your mouth. That’s it. I’m going to the manager to get you two f*ckers arrested! * lady storms off*

(We follow her up to the checkout where she calls the manager over)

Customer: Manager! Get these thieves arrested! They have stolen things! I mean look at them! That black one is obviously a drug addict and criminal! Arrest them now!

Manager: (who also happens to be African American) Please hold your tongue, ma’am! These boys have not stolen a thing. They are not drug addicts or criminals! I have been hearing your conversation and I am infuriated!

Customer: You shut your mouth. Listen to me, boy. I’ll have you arrested too unless you press charges against these thugs!

Manager: *now playing dumb*
Ok, Ma’am, I’ll bring these boys to the back room where we will arrest.

*we walk to the back room with the man where he tells us this*

Manager: Ok, guys. I know you are totally innocent. I am just wasting time. I called 911 when she wasn’t looking, and I’ll keep you in here until they show up.

*a few minutes later, we open the doors as we hear the police turn up outside and come out of the room*

Customer: Finally, these animals will be arrested and face what they deserve, Jail time!

Police: Ma’am you are under arrest for extreme racism and abuse *the police grab her hands and cuff her*

Customer: What!? Let go of me you animals! It’s those f*ckers you have to arrest! Get off me! I’ll have you know I’m married to (some big buisness owner) and I’ll have you all sued! Let go of me!

Later, we give the manager of the store $200 for his help. The lady went to court and faced charges.

Could Out-Trump Trump

| Right | December 15, 2015

(I am working for centre management for a shopping centre when a customer wishes to complain about the ‘tolerance’ of a Muslim butcher who chooses not to stock pork.)

Customer: “If you don’t have grandchildren or children then you’re not properly Australian.”

Me: “Let me get this straight. You believe if you don’t have children at all, then you’re not Australian?”

Customer: “That’s right. Do you have grandchildren?”

Me: “No. I’m in my 30s.”

Customer: “Do you have children?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “I just don’t.”

Customer: “Were you born in Australia?”

Me: “Yes.” *a lie, but it was easier to say yes*

Customer: “Well, you’re MOSTLY Australian, then.”

(Eventually getting back to his complaint about the butcher…)

Customer: “All Muslims want to take over the world with their lifestyle and practices and eradicate our culture. They say it all the time!”

Me: “I have several Muslim friends who don’t share that view.”

Customer: “Well you are one of the very few people in the world who are friends with a Muslim. And do you know we’ve got a female Prime Minister?” *we did at the time* “She’s conspiring with the Muslims, supporting their takeover because secretly, SHE IS ONE!”

Me: “I think you ought to shop for your meat elsewhere, mate.”

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Plaza Disaster

| Related | November 25, 2015

(I’m meeting my mum in a large town so my kids can have a holiday with her. She texts me to tell me where to meet her. There are several shopping plazas here.)

Text: “I’m at the plaza. We will go and get lunch and wait for you.”

(I ring to check I’m at the right plaza.)

Me: “Hey, mum, which plaza are you at?”

Mum: “It’s just a gigantic plaza. How can you be lost?”

Me: “Because there’s THREE of them at different corners I the town. I’m just checking we are at the same one. Surely you could see the name on the doors you came through or ask someone?”

Mum: “Well, you’ll have to work it out.” *to someone in background* “God, she’s lost AGAIN. She’s so useless. Now I’m going to have to waste my time going to find her…”

(I found her by driving through every plaza’s car park, looking for her car.)

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Creeping Into The Parking Spot

, | Friendly | November 22, 2015

(I am pulling into a shopping carpark and notice an empty parking space to my right, as well as three other customers putting their groceries into their cars. Unfortunately, carpark road rules say I can only turn left, so I do so and do a loop around the car park to return to that spot where I would be able to park. When I return to that area, just half a minute later, there is an angry looking customer holding up the flow of traffic in the carpark entry. He wants to turn right, where I had spotted the car spaces. I indicate left and enter the area and immediately find a spot. One car leaves and the angry customer parks, immediately next to me. Another car leaves, leaving a third spot free and a mother is putting her child in her car, meaning a fourth will soon become available. This guy looks pretty rough, the kind of guy you wouldn’t want to mess with, and I am a woman.)

Angry Customer: *looks at me, scowling* “You stupid f****** b****!”

(He continues as he gets out of his car and begins to walk past me, swearing and shouting. I have had enough. I get out of my car.)

Me: *speaking calmly* “You shouldn’t get so angry.”

Angry Customer: *waving his arms around* “Well, I am telling you, you are f****** lucky I was able to park here or I’d have messed you up!”

Me: *raising my voice* “No! You listen. I entered the car park before you and saw what would soon be four car spaces in this area. I followed the road rules and turned left when I was supposed to, and you held up traffic before turning right illegally. Even if you were allowed to turn right there, I would still have right of way because you need to give way to me. Plus, I am in a parking spot, you are in a parking spot, and there are now an additional two empty spots here. So, what is the point in acting like a lunatic?”

(The angry customer looks at left only sign. His face pales.)

Angry Customer: “Oh! I am sorry! You are right and I shouldn’t get angry like this. I have to say I am really proud of you for standing up to me. That’s really brave. No one ever stands up to me.”

(He continued like that as I walked hurriedly to the shopping centre. He was creepier when he was polite than he was when he was angry. When I returned to my car I found a rose on my windscreen.)

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