Try To Keep A Poke Face

| WI, USA | Rude & Risque

(An old man comes up to purchase a pair of shoes. I am nearby while my manager rings it up.)

Manager: “Now, hold onto your receipt, because you can use it anytime to get another pair half price!”

Customer: “Oh, I doubt I’ll get to use it. I’ll probably be dead before I need new shoes again.”

Manager: “Oh, don’t say that! You’ve got to stay positive!”

Customer: “Ah, when you get to be my age, all the ‘positive’ gets used up. First you can’t poke it no more, and then it just goes downhill from there!” *leaves*

The Great Will Of China

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

(A customer tries on a pair of shoes. As she is about to pay, she asks about getting a tax refund.)

Customer: “Can I get duty free for this?”

Me: “No, you cant get duty free for these because you have to spend over $300 and these are only $149.”

Customer: “So, I can get duty free?”

Me: “No, sorry, these are only $149. You need to spend over $300 to be able to claim your tax at the airport.”

Customer: “So, I can only wear these in Australia? I can’t wear these in China?”

Me: “Yes, you can wear these in China, but you wont be able to claim your tax back because they are not over $300.”

Customer: “So, I can’t take these to China?”

Other staff: “Yes you can wear them in China, but they’re not duty free.”

Customer: “So, I can wear them in Australia, and to the airport, but not in China?”

Me: “No, you can wear them anywhere.”

Customer: “How much tax can I get back?”

Other staff: “You can get 10% tax back but you cant get it for these ones because it is less than $300.”

Customer: “So, I can wear them to China?”

Me: “Of course.”

Customer: “Okay!”

A Real Idio-IT

| BC, Canada | Technology

(I work as the technical specialist for a shoe store my family owns. I’m currently in a storage room off the front entrance on the computer.)

Customer: “Hi, excuse me? What’s your return policy?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not entirely sure. Someone at the front desk could help you better.” *points to front desk*

Customer: “Oh, I thought this was the front desk.” *looks around* “You don’t really have much in here.”

Me: “Not really. Sorry, I’m just the IT person.”

Customer: *angry* “You just said that so you don’t have to help me!”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “You just made that up so you didn’t have to get up and help me! Yeah, right…’I-T’. Like that’s a real job!” *leaves*