Showing Signs Of A Recovery

, | Canberra, ACT, Australia | Right | July 31, 2014

(I am the customer in this story. I have just had a rant about customers in my store not reading signs to my fiancé while he was buying shoes.)

Me: “Ah, these are nice.” *to sales clerk* “Excuse me, there is no 50% off sticker on these. Don’t you have a 50% off sale like the sign on the window says?”

Sales Clerk: “Uh, no. That only applies to certain brands and this brand isn’t on sale.”

Me: “Oh, no! I’ve turned into that customer that doesn’t read the whole sale sign! I was just ranting about those!”

(We had a good laugh and talked about horrible customers and how sometimes we accidentally have those moments, so I think I was forgiven.)

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Alarmingly Bad At Listening

| FL, USA | Right | July 18, 2014

(I am ringing up a customer. The transaction goes smoothly until he is about to walk away with his purchases in his cart.)

Me: “Oh, sir, you can’t take the cart out the doors. Our alarm will go off.”

(The customer ignores me and keeps walking. Thankfully he turns around because his wife wanted to purchase another pair of shoes. Once that is done, I try again. Once again, he ignores me.)

Me: “Sir, you can’t take the cart.”

(The customer and his wife ignore me and continue to leave, until the security alarm goes off.)

Customer: *pokes head back through the door* “Am I good?”

Me: “No, you can’t take the cart.”

Customer: *smiles and nods* “Okay.” *leaves with the cart*

Me: “Well… okay, then.”

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This Family Business Is A Joke

, | Calgary, AB, Canada | Right | July 2, 2014

(I work at a well known shoe store. We wear tags bearing the name of the store, but not our names. A customer comes in and looks at my tag.)

Customer: “So… your name’s Rockport?”

Me: “Yep, it’s a family name. My dad started the business, and he wants me to learn it from the ground up.”

Customer: “Really? That’s so admirable!”

(I gesture to a few coworkers wearing the same name tag.)

Me: “Yup, all the Rockport kids learn the business this way.”

Customer: “All of you? Wow!”

(I can’t quite believe she hasn’t caught on by this point, so I take pity.)

Me: “What can I help you find…?”

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Going Gaga For Shoes

, | ACT, Australia | Right | July 1, 2014

(A young woman comes bursting into the store, flustered. She runs around all the aisles, frantically, at least three times. I watch her and go to walk over to help her, but she beats me to it and runs straight up to me, panting, sweating, red-faced, and a look of stress in her face.)

Customer: “DO YOU HAVE LADY GAGA’S SHOES?! I NEED THEM!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t even know where you could even buy Lady Gaga’s shoes to start with. We don’t sell them here though…”

Customer: “UGH! Not good. Not good… I ABSOLUTELY NEED LADY GAGA’S SHOES RIGHT NOW!”

(She then bolted out the door, as if she was running from a pack of lions. The other customers and I just stood there for a moment to take in what just happened.)

The Other Shoe Never Dropped

, | Calgary, AB, Canada | Right | June 25, 2014

(I’m at work in a store that exclusively sells shoes. Sometimes when people get unspecific about what they want, I like to joke with them about it.)

Me: “Hi there! Were you searching for anything in particular today?”

Customer: “Shoes.”

Me: *dead-pan* “Sorry, we’re out of those.”

Customer: “WHAT?”

(The customer looks seriously angry and tries to storm out before I chase her down and tell her that we do, in fact, have some shoes left.)

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