Long-Suffering Husbands Can Relate

, , | Right | July 12, 2019

(A husband and wife are browsing in our shoe shop. She picks up a pair of white shoes from the shelf.)

Wife: “These are perfect, but I want them in black.”

(Her husband picks up the identical black version situated right next to them and shows her.)

Wife: “No… I don’t like those.”

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It’s Not The Customer’s Fault When It Totally Is

, , , , | Working | June 28, 2019

(I was promoted to supervisor at my store, meaning I am allowed to be involved in the hiring process for the first time. As such, my district manager is beside me to make sure everything goes okay. We conduct a group interview with four people. When given a scenario about a guest wanting a refund due to weather, they all decide as a group that the best answer is, “They should’ve checked the weather app beforehand.”)

District Manager: “So, that’s it? Would you guys apologize?”

Person #1: “Well, obviously, apologize, but they should’ve checked the app.”

(The inner retail worker in me was screaming YES, because I agree, but we didn’t hire any of them because of their poor customer service answers.)

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Beware The Warehouse

, , , , , | Right | June 2, 2019

(I work in a shoe store.)

Customer: “Can you give me anything off of this shoe? The glue marks are showing, there are smudges, and it looks like someone made marks on the heel.”

Me: “For the heel part, it actually is the style; there’s no defect there. The glue and smudge marks I can do nothing about. I can only see if I can order you another one from the warehouse.”

Customer: “Okay, do that and I’ll come back to get it.”

Me: “Unfortunately, you’d have to pay today. It’s like an online order. You pay today, and you pick it up when—“

Customer: “F*** this store. I’m out.”

Me: “Okay…”

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You Pay Me Two Hours’ Minimum Wage

, , , , , | Right | May 31, 2019

(I work in a shoe store.)

Customer: “Hi, just these.”

Me: “Cool. Did you find everything okay over there?”

Customer: “I did, but there seems to be a glue mark here. Like, the glue is clearly visible. Can you give me anything off for it?”

Me: “Oh… unfortunately not. It’s against company policy for me to discount a shoe based on a defect. The only thing I can do is see if I can order you one directly from the warehouse.” *checks* “Looks like I can’t actually. Darn. This is the only one close by, too.”

Customer’s Obnoxious Friend: “So, you’re telling me you can’t order it, and you can’t give my friend anything off for this shoe? It’s $29.99. I’m already paying your salary here.”

Me: “Excuse me, but no, I cannot. As you said, it’s $29.99. You can try your luck at [Chain Shoe Store] or something, but there’s nothing I can do unless you specifically have a coupon.”

Customer’s Obnoxious Friend: “Okay. We’re done here; we’re never shopping here again.” *both of them leave the shoes on the counter*

Me: “Technically, you never did…”

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Can’t Per-Suede You To Discount

, , , , , | Right | May 31, 2019

(I work in a shoe store.)

Me: “Hi. Did you find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yeah, but there’s a scuff mark on this shoe. Can I get something off for it?”

Me: “Unfortunately—“

Customer: “There are also these smudge marks here and here.”

Me: “Okay. Unfortunately, it’s against company policy for me to change the price on the shoe for something like that. Shoes with this material—“ *suede* “—are going to have a mark like this coming out of the warehouse even, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh… so, you can’t discount it any?”

Me: “Not unless you have a coupon.”

Customer: “Do you have any coupons for me?”

Me: “Uh… no.”

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