This Family Business Is A Joke

, | Calgary, AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Funny Names, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a well known shoe store. We wear tags bearing the name of the store, but not our names. A customer comes in and looks at my tag.)

Customer: “So… your name’s Rockport?”

Me: “Yep, it’s a family name. My dad started the business, and he wants me to learn it from the ground up.”

Customer: “Really? That’s so admirable!”

(I gesture to a few coworkers wearing the same name tag.)

Me: “Yup, all the Rockport kids learn the business this way.”

Customer: “All of you? Wow!”

(I can’t quite believe she hasn’t caught on by this point, so I take pity.)

Me: “What can I help you find…?”

Going Gaga For Shoes

, | ACT, Australia | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(A young woman comes bursting into the store, flustered. She runs around all the aisles, frantically, at least three times. I watch her and go to walk over to help her, but she beats me to it and runs straight up to me, panting, sweating, red-faced, and a look of stress in her face.)

Customer: “DO YOU HAVE LADY GAGA’S SHOES?! I NEED THEM!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t even know where you could even buy Lady Gaga’s shoes to start with. We don’t sell them here though…”

Customer: “UGH! Not good. Not good… I ABSOLUTELY NEED LADY GAGA’S SHOES RIGHT NOW!”

(She then bolted out the door, as if she was running from a pack of lions. The other customers and I just stood there for a moment to take in what just happened.)

The Other Shoe Never Dropped

, | Calgary, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

(I’m at work in a store that exclusively sells shoes. Sometimes when people get unspecific about what they want, I like to joke with them about it.)

Me: “Hi there! Were you searching for anything in particular today?”

Customer: “Shoes.”

Me: *dead-pan* “Sorry, we’re out of those.”

Customer: “WHAT?”

(The customer looks seriously angry and tries to storm out before I chase her down and tell her that we do, in fact, have some shoes left.)