(I am shopping for shoes and am being “helped” by the salesman. Note that there is no language barrier.)

Me: “Um, I don’t think this pair is going to do it.”

Salesman: “What’s the matter with them?”

Me: “They don’t fit.”

Salesman: “But what’s wrong with them?”

Me: “They hurt here…” *pointing* “…and here…” *pointing* “…and they are squashing my toes.

Salesman: *gets agitated* “But what’s wrong with them?!”

Me: “I think the toes may be too pointy. I guess I have rather square feet.”

Salesman: “But you don’t like them?!”

Me: “No, I think my toes are too—”

Salesman: “I can’t help it if you have stupid feet!”

(I work in a shoe store. Sometimes we have the same style of shoe in different colors and the colors vary in price. A customer is having a problem with the listed price.)

Customer: “Why are the green and black shoes different in price? You should give me the price of the green one for the black one.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the prices listed on the shoe are the final price. Different colors can be different prices, because they are a different shoe.”

Customer: “You can’t have a different price for a different colored shoe! That’s racist!”

(A customer that I served earlier this particular day walks in with a small child of about one year. The child starts screaming and the mom puts the child down to run around unattended.)

Customer: “I need to return these shoes.”

Me: “Okay, was there anything wrong with them?”

Customer: “No, I just thought I had more money than I really did.”

Me: “Oh okay, that’s fine.”

Customer: “Yeah, I need that money so I can go to raves!”

(A customer is browsing around in the store.)

Me: “Hi, are you finding everything all right?”

Customer: “Am I finding everything all right?! What kind of a stupid question is that?”

Me: *speechless* “Um–”

Customer: “You know, I’ve always hated that question! I wish I could just find the son of a b**** who started asking that question!”

Me: *mouth open, about to say something*

Customer: “What you’re supposed to ask is, ‘Hello sir, is there anything I could help you find?'”

Me: *about to do as he says*

Customer: “‘Am I finding everything all right?!’ That’s like asking me ‘How’s my life?’ How’s your life? Found everything you’re looking for? Are you happy with your life?”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “Of course not!”

(There’s an awkward silence as I try to figure out what to say to him.)

Customer: “Spread the word!” *exits the store*

Me: *forced smile* “Thank you, enjoy the rest of your day!”

Me: “Would you like to put in an email address or mailing address to receive coupons?”

Customer: “Sure, I’ll give you my email address.”

Customer’s friend: “No! Don’t give her your email address. People can hack you and track you down and find you with those.”

Customer: “Oh, I guess I can’t do that then.”

Customer’s friend: “Wait, did you say email or mailing address?”

Me: “Either one.”

Customer: “Well, I can go ahead and give you my mailing address then, can’t I?”

Customer’s friend: “I don’t see why not!”