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I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 41

, , , , | Right | September 8, 2021

My mother and her best friend decide to go shopping at a local strip mall and force me to go along with them.

Our first stop is a somewhat more upscale shoe store. Given that I’m really not a fan of clothes shopping and the minor health issues I have involving my feet, I quickly find a place to sit in one of the less busy parts of the store when a middle-aged man walks up to me.

Man: “Hey, do you work here?”

It takes me a second to process his question, all the employees I’ve seen walking about are wearing nametags and business casual attire. Meanwhile, I’m wearing a band tee, ripped jeans, and a mask with vampire fangs on it while just sitting on a bench playing on my phone.

Me: “Uh, no. No, I don’t.”

Man: “Oh, well, you should!

I just sat there, wondering what he meant by that, as he wandered away.

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 40
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 39
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 38
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 37
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 36

What Kind Of Day Have They Been Having?!

, , , , , | Right | August 16, 2021

I have signed up for an exercise class that is conducted in a martial arts dojo. To protect the floor of the dojo, we are required to wear only shoes that have never been worn outside. I don’t have any shoes like that, so I go to a discount shoe store, since I don’t want to spend a lot of money on shoes I will only be wearing for a few hours per week.

I find a pair I like, try them on, and notice the price on a tag that is inside the box. It is even less than I expected to pay, so I buy them. When the cashier scans the box, a higher price comes up on the register.

Me: “That’s not the right price. There’s a tag inside that shows that they cost [price].”

I show her the tag.

Cashier #1: “I’m sorry about that.” *To [Cashier #2]* “Can you check the price on these shoes?”

Cashier #2: “Sure.”

He walks away and comes back a few minutes later.

Cashier #2: “The price is ringing up correctly. The tag that was in the box doesn’t match this style; it probably just fell off another box. I’m sorry, but these shoes are already on sale so we can’t give you the lower price.”

I am disappointed by this, but I do like the shoes and the higher price is still reasonable.

Me: “Aww, okay, I’ll still get them.”

Cashier #1: “Wait. You aren’t mad?”

Me: “I mean, I’d rather pay the lower price, but if you can’t do that, then…” *Shrugs*

Cashier #2: “Why are you so calm?”

Me: “If I throw a fit, do I get the lower price?”

Cashier #1: “No, sorry, we can’t.”

Me: “Then there doesn’t seem to be a point to getting angry, does there?”

Both cashiers give each other a “WTF?” look, but we complete the transaction. In the meantime, another employee comes over, wearing a “Manager” nametag. [Cashier #2] explains the situation to him. Another “WTF?” look passes among all three employees.

Cashier #2: “She’s too calm.”

I am not telling this story to show off my ability not to throw a tantrum; I am telling it because of the strange reaction of the employees to normal behavior!

You Can’t Parent Using Half Measures

, , | Right | June 15, 2021

I work in a retail outlet store. A mother has come in with her child and has basically used me as her personal shop assistant since she came in.

Mother: “Get these for me in a size 12.5.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, we don’t sell half sizes.”

Mother: “What?!”

She got so mad that we didn’t sell half sizes that she threw her CHILD’s shoes at me and stormed out of the shop.

She came back a few minutes later, remembering her shoeless child.

Get Real And Shoo

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: RonskyGorzama | June 1, 2021

I work at a big chain shoe store. It’s predominantly women’s shoes, with men’s shoes shoved into a few rows on the left side and a small kid’s section. We sell about half athletic shoes and half everything else because most of our major suppliers are athletic brands.

This lady comes in and makes a beeline for the back right corner where our women’s heels and formal shoes are. She’s back there for a good twenty minutes. She doesn’t seem to need help and isn’t suspicious in any way, so I don’t pay much attention to her. Finally, she comes up to the counter with a pair of heeled loafers. I ring her up normally and we chat. She seems a little annoyed but I don’t really think much of it.

Lady: “You guys need to sell more real shoes.”

Me: “What do you mean by ‘real shoes’?”

She points to the ugly loafers she’s buying.

Lady: “You need more shoes like these. Sneakers, flip flops, boots — none of those are real shoes. You need to sell ones that are smart and practical.”

I just go along with it because she is getting agitated and I don’t want to deal with a pissed-off customer.

Me: “Yeah, I do wish we had a better selection of heels, but we get inventory based on what sells the most and that’s athletic shoes.”

She just rolls her eyes at me and huffs.

I finish the transaction and bag up the shoes. As she’s walking out the door, though, she just has to get the last word in.

Lady: “Just sell real shoes!”

Newsflash: any shoes besides ugly loafers aren’t real and aren’t practical. Sorry to break it to you.

Running Out Of Excuses

, , , , | Right | May 30, 2021

A woman comes into our high-end shoe store with her daughter and young grandson and granddaughter. The little girl starts running around, so one of the salespeople approaches.

Salesperson: *Politely* “Please stop running before you hurt yourself.”

Grandma: “Should you be the one telling her that?”

Salesperson: “No, you should, but you’re not, so I have to.”

This story is part of our Best Of May 2021 roundup!

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