This Customer Service Is Pure Terrorism!

, , , , | Right | June 27, 2018

(It is a Tuesday, the morning of the terror attack at the Brussels airport and metro system. A customer, who has a next-day air shipping label for a piece of artwork going to Brussels, calls our center. The store owner takes the call.)

Customer: “Will my package still get there tomorrow? Even with the terror attacks that happened? All the bombings?”

Store Owner: “Probably not, seeing as it’s going to the Brussels airport, which is closed right now.”

Customer: “But I have a next-day air label! I need it to get there! My client paid specifically for next-day shipping!”

Store Owner: “I’m sure your client will understand. There is no possible way for this to get there by tomorrow.”

Customer: “You’re not understanding me! This needs to get there tomorrow!

Store Owner:You’re not understanding. You know there was a terrorist attack there just hours ago, and I know that you know that because that’s what you started this conversation with. Their airport is closed. I can’t go open the airport, and with the attacks there this morning, I wouldn’t even if I could!”

Customer: *long pause* “Could it get there by the end of the week? Say… Friday?”

Store Owner:If the airport has reopened by then, we could send it out for you. I can’t — and won’t — promise you that it will get there by Friday right now.”

Customer: “This is the worst experience I’ve ever had. I need you to get this to my client by Friday, and I want my money back for shipping!”

(The store owner wound up giving her the shipping company’s customer service number and told her to call them because he was getting nowhere with her.)

Can’t Get This Customer Squared Away

, , , | Right | May 7, 2018

(I work at a store for a major shipping company. We sell packaging supplies, and have over forty different sized boxes. Corporate only allows us to display a very specific selection of boxes, and we’re only allowed to display up to six at a time. It’s near Christmas time, so we’re quite busy. One of my coworkers calls me up to help someone figure out what size box he wants to buy.)

Customer: “I need to buy a box.”

Me: “Great! Do you know about what size box you’re looking for?”

Customer: “Just get me the same one I bought last time.”

Me: “I’m not the one who helped you the last time you were in, so I’m not sure what size box you bought. I can help you figure out a size, though; what is it that you’re putting in the box?”

Customer: “Uh… Well… We can figure this out. It was a box that was big, but not so big. It was a good size, though, you know? And it was definitely a rectangle, not a square. Maybe you could just show me all of them?”

Me: “We have over forty different box sizes for sale, ranging from six inches by six inches by six inches, all the way up to three feet by three feet by three feet. Here’s a list of all of the sizes, or if you want to look at the display, you can tell me if the box you’re looking for was bigger or smaller than the sixteen cube over there.”

Customer: *pushes the box list away without looking at it* “No, it wasn’t one of those. It wasn’t a square. Hmm… How to do this? Could you just bring up one of each of your boxes and show me? I’ll know it when I see it!”

Me: *looking at the line of customers still waiting to be helped* “Realistically, no. Especially during the Christmas rush, I can’t show you all of our boxes. I’ll grab you a pretty commonly-used size, and you can tell me if you want to go bigger or smaller.”

Customer: *heavy sigh* “Fine, we can do it your way… but I still think I need to see them all so I can compare them. I’ll know it when I see it!”

(I go to the back and grab a box that’s twenty inches by fifteen inches by nine inches, and bring it back up to him.)

Customer: “No, that definitely wasn’t it… You know, it might have been this sixteen by sixteen by sixteen? Or maybe the eighteen by eighteen by eighteen? One of the ones on display.”

Me: “Okay! Did you want to buy the sixteen and the eighteen, or just one of them?”

Customer: “I guess I need both… It was definitely one of them, though! Actually, wait, it wasn’t a square, was it? Now that I’m thinking about it, it might have been close to a square…”

Me: “I’ll be right back up!”

(I go to the back again, and grab a box that’s eighteen inches by fourteen inches by fourteen inches.)

Me: “Was it this one?”

Customer: “YES! I think so.”

Me: “All right, so you’re just getting the eighteen by fourteen by fourteen, right?”

Customer: “Umm… No… I think I need all that I looked at. It was definitely one of these three, though! I’m almost positive it was one of them.”

Label Them Stupid

, , , , | Right | January 8, 2018

(It’s a Saturday, and since Saturdays are usually pretty slow, my boss only has one of us working. It happens to be my Saturday, so I’m the only one working in the store.)

Customer: *on the phone* “Can I ship my [Competing Company] package there?”

Me: “No, we don’t ship for [Competing Company]. If you already have a label, you can call [Competing Company’s phone number] and arrange a pickup with them. If you need a label, you’ll have to call their customer service line.”

Customer: “Oh, okay, great. Well, thanks for that information! You’re very helpful!”

Me: “Oh, thanks! You have a great rest of the day.”

(We hang up. Not even 15 minutes go by before a customer comes into the store. He says hello, and I recognize his voice as the caller from a few minutes ago.)

Me: “What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Yeah, um… I called a bit ago… Maybe about half an hour, now? And I spoke with someone; I don’t think it was you, and they told me I can get a [Competing Company] label here?”

Racism Will No Longer Be Accepted For Delivery

, , , , , , , , | Working | December 14, 2017

(I work as a receptionist for a small video editing company. The boss is the epitome of evil, a real piece of s***. She seems to really have it out for our delivery man, who is African-American. We have a table in the lobby with a book where all packages going out are written down. The delivery man is supposed to come by, check the table, and pick up any packages that are there. The table is in front of a large window and it is pretty obvious if there are any packages going out. The boss storms in and angrily asks:)

Boss: “Is the delivery guy coming in and getting the packages?”

Me: “He is checking daily, yes.”

Boss: “That isn’t what I asked. Is he physically coming into the building?”

Me: “Well, no. If the table is empty he—”

(The boss storms off and gets on the phone and calls, screaming at the poor customer service person. My boss gets so obsessive that she even starts checking the surveillance cameras to make sure he comes into the lobby and doesn’t just open the door and peek in. She insists that he come all the way into the lobby, close the door behind him, stand at the table for a few seconds, and then leave. I am getting more than annoyed by this. She calls almost daily, screaming about the poor guy. One day he calls me because he is running behind and asks if there are any packages. I tell him he is in luck; not only are there none, but the boss is out that day. The next day he comes in and the boss is there to yell at him again. She has checked the surveillance tapes. When he leaves, she comes to my desk and says that he had better just do his job.)

Me: “You know that these delivery guys only have so much time to deliver, and any place they can shave off a few seconds really helps them.”

Boss: “I don’t care. The only thing that n***** should say, is, ‘Yeth, Masta.’”

(Then she storms off to call and complain again. I am in too much shock and, shamefully, I say nothing. I am gone by the next week. I get a great job as a receptionist at a company a few miles down the road, and who should walk in my first week there but the delivery guy, with a trainee in tow. We greet each other like old friends.)

Delivery Guy: “I am so glad to see you here away from that awful woman.”

Me: “I am, too. I am so glad I got to see you! And I am so sorry for the horrible way she treats you.”

Delivery Guy: “I just don’t know what her problem is.”

Me: “You don’t know?” *he shakes his head, and I quietly tell him, embarrassed* “It’s because you are black.”

(He and the trainee both look shocked.)

Me: “She would not have given you any trouble if you were white. She only called and made up ridiculous complaints because she hated you because of the color of your skin. She is a horrible racist. I can’t even begin to repeat the horrible racist comments she would make when you left the building or after she would get off the phone with customer service complaining about you. I just couldn’t stand being there anymore, which is why I left.”

(He shakes my hand and leaves. The next week, he comes in without the trainee.)

Me: “Hello, again! Is your trainee out on his own?”

Delivery Guy: “That wasn’t my trainee; that was my manager. You saved my job.”

Me: “What? How?”

Delivery Guy: “That blasted ex-boss of yours called and complained so much that when a normal and justified complaint came in, the company was going to fire me. The manager was going around with me to see what I was doing wrong and if I was even going to have the chance to keep my job. After we left here, he told me I was good, and there would be no more talk about it. As a matter of fact, the delivery company cancelled your ex-boss’s contract and told her they would no longer deliver for or to her. She will have to drive to the hub to get any packages that are mailed to her.”

(I was so thrilled. Several years later I got to congratulate him on a well-deserved promotion before I left on maternity leave.)

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Showing Them Their Bad Form

, , , , , | Right | December 5, 2017

(I work in a chemical factory. I am talking over the phone finalizing shipment details with a client, who plans to ship produce to the United States.)

Me: “You also need to fill out [Form A]. If it isn’t present, your shipment will be stopped by customs and not allowed into the country.”

Customer: “Yeah, okay.”

Me: “Sir, [Form A] is important. Do not forget it.”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah. [Form A]. Got it.”

(Fast forward two weeks: the customer is on the phone and livid.)

Customer: “MY THINGS ARE STUCK AT CUSTOMS AND IT’S YOUR FAULT. I DIDN’T KNOW THEY NEEDED [FORM A]!”

Manager: “Sir, I’m certain that my agent told you about it.”

Customer: “NO, HE DID NOT! I WOULD REMEMBER! I WAS NOT TOLD!”

Manager: “Sir, yes, you were. Our calls are all recorded. Would you like to listen to yours?”

Customer: “YES, I F****** WOULD! YOU DIDN’T TELL ME!”

Manager: “Please wait a second.”

([Manager] patches a recording into the phone call and customer is listening. [Form A] comes up and after two seconds the customer simply hangs up. [Manager] then calls the customer back.)

Manager: *in a sweet and polite voice* “I’m so sorry, but the line died unexpectedly. Would you like to listen to it again?”

Customer: *click*

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