Wanted Proof But Got Overproof

| USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Transportation

(I work at a chain shipping store. One of my coworkers is helping an older woman who wants to ship a package to a friend. She has a box that is inside a plastic bag.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, is there anything breakable in your package?”

Older Woman: “Yes. It probably needs to be bubble wrapped but you can just bubble wrap the box.”

Coworker: “Okay, that’s not a problem! Can I just take the box out of the bag to make sure the item isn’t moving around inside the box?”

Older Woman: “Sure, that’s not a problem.”

(My coworker takes the box out of the bag and notices that the box says that it contains a bottle of Crown Royal. In our state you cannot ship hard liquor without a number of serious licenses.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, what’s inside this box?”

Older Woman: “Shampoo.”

Coworker: “Ma’am, are you sure?”

Older Woman: “Yes, it’s just shampoo.”

Coworker: “Ma’am, do you mind if I check to make sure its just shampoo?”

Older Woman: “Sure, that’s not a problem.”

(My coworker opens the box and pulls out a full bottle of Crown Royal.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, this is a bottle of Crown Royal. You can’t ship this. It’s against the law.”

Older Woman: “No. It’s shampoo!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, this ‘shampoo’ is 80 proof.”

(The older woman grabs the Crown Royal from my coworker and quickly exits the store.)

Coworker: *to me* “I want that kind of shampoo!”

Speaking In Double-Dutch

| Dublin, Ireland | Language & Words

(I work for large shipping company and we deal with our own specific customers, mostly over email. Customers do call us when it’s urgent or something has gone wrong. This is a customer I have only ever emailed.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]; My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “…So where are you from? Dutch? You don’t sound Dutch.”

Me: “Yes, originally. But I’ve lived in Canada for a long time, England, and Ireland for the past three years. My accent is a bit of mix.”

Customer: “Well, it’s very disconcerting. I can’t bloody tell where you’re from. Just email me from now on.” *click*

Trying To Explain It In Black And White

, | OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer walks in with a black & white document.)

Me: “Do you need some copies made today?”

Customer: “Yes, please. I need 20 of these, black & white.”

(I make her copies and walk back to the counter.)

Customer: “Can you make 10 in color, too, please?”

Me: “Sure, you just need them on the brighter, heavier paper that we use in the color machine?”

Customer: *stares at me like I have two heads* “NO, so that they’re in COLOR.”

Me: “You mean you want it to look like it did on the computer screen before you printed these in black?”

Customer: *frustrated* “YES!”

Me: “No color machine in the world is capable of restoring color from a black and white copy.”

Customer: “Whatever.”

(Thank goodness the customer behind her was laughing at her because I was certainly about to!)

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