Can’t Sweet Talk Them Out Of This One

, , , , , | Right | September 27, 2019

Customer: “Hi. I would like a coffee that’s sweet but not too sweet. What do you recommend?”

Me: “How about a vanilla latte? It’s sweet but pretty mellow. We can also make drinks half sweet if you would prefer that.”

Customer: *without skipping a beat* “I’ll take a large iced white chocolate mocha with extra whipped cream.”

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Unfiltered Story #167657

, , , | Unfiltered | September 24, 2019

(One day, a mother and her nine year old son come into the hospital, where I am waiting with my mother for her treatment, and the son is pretty badly injured, and obviously in pain.)
Mother: “Hi, can I have someone look at my son to see if needs treatment?”
Nurse: *takes one look at the boy and gasps* “Ma’am, come this way immediately! We need to help him!”
Mom: *not budging* “Yes, yes, I know. You want my money and all that. But before you do that, can we just have a REAL doctor come and look at him?”
Nurse: “Ma’am, it’s pretty easy to tell what has happened to him, and we don’t need a doctor to-“
Mom: “No, no, no! I want a REAL doctor to come and look at him! Not some pretty face in a nurse costume!”
Nurse: “Oh, screw it. [Coworker’s Name], bring him to Dr [Name] and get him treated right away!”
Mom: “Oh my god, people. I just want to know if I’ll have to pay for him. I was hoping it wasn’t too bad, and we could just let it be. Now I have to pay for something he might not have needed.”
Nurse: *gaping at the mom*
Mom: “Well? I have to keep a tight budget, my family is low on money and we need to save-“
Me: *couldn’t take it any longer* “Which is why you’re standing there with a Hermes bag on your arm, in a Versace dress and designer heels, parking a red Porsche outside. And I don’t know if you’re short-sighted or whatever (humph from the Mom) but EVERYONE ELSE in this room can see your son has a GIANT, GAPING CUT on his arm that has BLOOD FLOWING all over his clothes. I don’t know if you’re clueless, hopeless, or just neglecting your child because of money you can obviously spare. Go to your son, and we all pray to God for him. He needs all the divine help he can get, with you as a mother.”
(I sit down and everyone around me clamours in agreement. The mother stammers a ‘sorry’, turns bright red and rushes off to her son. I hope he was alright!)

Needs To Update His Newsfeed, Not His Operating System

, , , , , | Right | September 16, 2019

(It is September 16, 2001, five days after the terrorist attacks on the USA’s east coast. While we are 3000 miles from there, many people have friends or family who have been affected. Our computer store was supposed to have the new Mac OS available, but with plane flights suspended, we haven’t gotten it yet. One man is less than understanding, and is screaming at my coworker:)

Customer: “What do you mean, you don’t have it?! Your ad promised it would be here, and I reserved a copy weeks ago! How can you not have it?!”

(He pauses for breath and I put on my best “helpful customer service” voice.)

Me: “Sir, due to the terrorist attacks Tuesday, in which thousands of people died, shipping has been disrupted. Would you like to leave your name and number so we can call you when your order arrives?” *which we’d be doing for everyone who pre-ordered, anyway*

Customer: *after a long pause, blushes, and whispers* “No, thank you; I’ll check back later.”

(At least he had the grace to be embarrassed.)

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Now I Know My PNOs

, , , , , | Working | September 12, 2019

(I work in IT, and when giving users temporary passwords, we try to give them phonetically in order to avoid confusion. I’m giving a user a password that has a P and a Y next to each other.)

Me: “…that’s P as in ‘yellow’… wait.”

(My coworker from the desk across from me sends a direct message.)

Coworker: “P as in ‘yellow.’”

Me: “I heard it!”

(Next, I have an N and an O right next to each other.)

Me: “N as in ‘Orange’— Wait!”

User: *laughs at me as I give her the correct password*

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Putting The Parent Into Park For A Minute

, , , , , | Right | August 22, 2019

(I work at a large grocery store. It’s the middle of summer and hotter than normal for my area, and I’m outside fixing up a display of outdoor furniture that’s on sale. As I’m arranging things, a well-dressed woman comes up to me from the crowded parking lot, smiling. I smile back and am about to ask what I can do for her when she beats me to it.)

Customer: “Hi! My daughter is in the car and I just have to grab a few things real quick. Can you just keep an eye on her?”

(I’m too stunned by how ridiculous this is to respond for a moment, glance out at the sea of cars with literal heat waves rolling off of them and I can’t even tell which car has her daughter trapped in an oven. I’m so upset and in shock at how stupid this mother is I don’t even think as I respond.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m working and have no time or desire to watch your child! And you can’t leave your child in your car!”

(Her bright, vapid smile vanished and she gave me a dirty look as she went back towards the parking lot.)

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