Getting Into The Holiday Spirit Is A Steal!

, , , , , | Right | December 25, 2018

(I have just clocked on for my closing shift. As my shift-lead-in-training and the manager teaching him are working on cleaning behind some of our food units, I am helping them. At the same time, this means I do not notice the woman who has just entered the building. However, my shift-lead-in-training does and alerts to me it.)

Shift Lead: “Hey [My Name], there is a woman at the register.”

Me: *quickly notes the woman in question, who is now walking away with an empty soda cup* “Ma’am?”

(She moves over to the soda machine, fills up her cup, and then takes her time with the lid. All of this is very normal, so I am content to wait at the register for her to come back over, as is custom. In the time I help two more people out, I watch her as she paces about slightly, adjusts her jeans, and never once looked back behind her. Normally, I would be watching someone by this point, anyway, as we tend to get a lot of odd ones, given we’re in the middle of downtown Seattle. Suddenly this woman starts to make her way towards the door.)

Me: *louder* “Ma’am! I can ring that up for you.”

Woman: *stops, turns slowly and looks at me*

Me: *smiles*

Woman: “Why are you trying to STOP ME?” *raising her voice and taking large steps closer to me with every word* “I am POOR. It’s almost Christmas. LET. ME. HAVE. THIS.”

(My shop is normally very giving; we understand people have hard times. But all we ask is that people are honest and upfront with us about it; that way we can work something out with them. But this woman does none of that; she outright attempts to steal from us.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t do that.”

Woman: *narrows her eyes at me and glares*

Me: “Ma’am, I am only doing my job, and I have to ring you up for that soda. I don’t have the power to just let you walk out of here with that cup.”

(She keeps glaring at me. Knowing she won’t listen to me, I know there is only one option left, since I’m “low” on the chain of command.)

Me: “Let me see what my manager says.”

(I turn and walk a few steps back and explain to my shift lead that she just tried to walk out of here without paying. Having heard and seen the situation, he realizes it’s not worth trying to make the woman pay the $2.25 she would owe us, so I’m given the okay to let her go. The entire time, the woman has been very nasty and rude with me, I might add.)

Me: *walks back* “He said you’re good to go.” *returns to my register to help someone*

Woman: *overly cheerful voice that makes it seem like I’ve been nothing but a bully* “Oh, THANK YOU, KIND SIR! Thank you so much! Merry Christmas to you!”

(Later when I explained the entire ordeal to my general manager and then coworkers, they just sort of shook their heads and told me if she came back they would have security escort her out. Happy holidays, I guess?)

A Gross Statement Of Gender Disparity

, , , , | Right | December 10, 2018

(I work in maintenance. I’m cleaning a spill as this occurs.)

Customer: “Oh, honey, I’m sorry.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You’re cleaning a gross mess.”

Me: “Well, yes. I’m maintenance.”

Customer: “But you’re a lady. Ladies shouldn’t clean gross messes unless it’s for their kids. They should get a man to do your job.”

Me: *speechless until she left*

There’s No Masking Their Disinterest

, , , , , , | Working | November 29, 2018

(Wildfires have become an increasing problem in my area every summer. This year, even though the fires are nowhere near where I live, a weird weather pattern traps a thick smoke cloud here for several days. I have asthma, so I am unable to leave my apartment during this time. Once the smoke clears, I go to the hardware store to buy the kind of face mask that blocks smoke so this won’t happen again. Since I have no idea where to find masks, I ask an employee. I explain to him that I need it because of my asthma and the smoky conditions, just in case some masks are unsuitable for that.)

Employee: “Face masks… Face masks… Those would be on an end cap on [aisle], I think. But I’m not sure. Let’s go look.”

(He starts leading me through the store to look for the masks.)

Employee: “Have you heard of the [Family] family?”

Me: “No, I haven’t.”

Employee: “Well, they had all sorts of health problems. Always dealing with something. But then one time, the day after Halloween, they found little [Son] passed out next to a pillowcase full of candy. Took him to the doctor, and it turned out he had diabetes.”

Me: *wondering why he’s telling me this* “Was he all right?”

Employee: “Yeah, but the mom, see, she was a nurse, and she’d seen people die from insulin. So she didn’t want her son taking that. The whole family changed their diet, instead. Organic, raw, vegan.”

(We haven’t gotten to the face-masks yet, but the employee stops in the middle of an aisle. He’s no longer looking for them at all.)

Employee: “So, yeah. The diabetes cleared right up! And the daughter, she had asthma. It went away, too!”

Me: “Ah.”

Employee: “Really, you should try it. Go on a green juice cleanse for a couple weeks. It’ll take care of that asthma.”

Me: “Um… I’d rather just find that mask, thanks.”

Employee: “Oh, right.”

(He finally showed me where the masks were, and I found the right one. Before leaving, he made a few more comments about changes I should make to my diet and what wonderful effects it would have on my health. All of this was despite me not showing one bit of interest in his claims about diet. Also, I’ve been a vegetarian who eats mostly vegetables for over a decade, and I still have asthma.)

A Key Moment In Solving This Problem

, , , , , , | Right | November 24, 2018

(I am the customer in this story. I’ve had my car shipped across the country to me, but the transport truck can’t get close enough to my house, so I meet them in a nearby parking lot. It is a fair distance, and not wanting to leave my or my husband’s car in the lot, I take an Uber. After making sure the car is still in one piece, I receive the keys, and the two drivers go off to get coffee. I quickly find I cannot turn my car on! I try for nearly half an hour. I am almost in tears, thinking I’ll have to call for a tow. By that time, the two drivers come back.)

Driver #1: “Is everything okay, ma’am? We thought you’d be long gone.”

Me: “I can’t turn the car on! The ignition won’t even turn.”

Driver #1: “Mind if I take a look?”

(I hand him the keys and he looks puzzled.)

Driver #1: “Um… These are the wrong keys.”

Me: *frustrated and slightly angry* “What do you mean, the wrong keys? Did you give me the wrong set?”

Driver #1: “No, ma’am. You’re our last delivery. Those are the only keys we had.”

Driver #2: “We had to have had the right keys in order to get the car off the truck. We gave you the right keys, but these ain’t them.”

(I then looked closer and realized I had been using my husband’s car keys! The drivers had a good laugh as I shamefully turned my car on with the right set.)

A Hypothetical Way Of Getting Out Of Jury Duty

, , , , , | Legal | November 20, 2018

(My husband is an extremely laid-back, no-nonsense man. He is intelligent, but dislikes hypothetical questions and “what if” situations. When he is summoned for jury duty, I am certain it will be an interesting experience for the court. This happens when he is called upon to answer questions for jury selection.)

Prosecutor: “How would you know if someone is lying to you?”

Husband: “Depends on who they are.”

Prosecutor: *smirks* “Okay. Say it’s a stranger.”

Husband: “Then what am I doing talking to them?”

Prosecutor: *blinks twice then moves on to next juror*

(My husband was informed that his services were not needed. He seemed very pleased with the outcome, especially since he only had to be himself to get out of jury duty.)

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