We’re Not On The Same Page

, , , , , , | Right | May 3, 2019

(My coworker is in her last half-hour of her last day at the bookstore, and she’s ready for revenge. All summer long, we’ve had the mandatory summer reading section set up. Of course, 90% of the students come in with Mom and Dad two days before school starts to get their books. A sixteen-year-old boy comes in with his parents.)

Coworker: “May I find something for you?”

Boy: “I need a summer reading book.”

Coworker: “Okay. What’s it called?”

Boy: “I dunno, but it has 186 pages.”

Coworker: *to the boy and his parents* “Do you have your list?”

Boy & Parents: *blank faces*

Boy: “It has 186 pages.”

(There are easily 100 books on the summer reading shelves. I see it coming and I don’t believe she’s really going to do it…)

Coworker: *pointing to the rack* “In this section are all the books under 100 pages. Over here are all the books from 100 to 250 pages.” *walks away*

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“How Are You” Is Implied

, , , , , , | Related | August 2, 2018

(My mom works at hotel near a movie theater. I go to see a movie one day and then meet her at the hotel so she can drive me home.)

Me: “Hey, Mom!”

Mom: “Hey, bunnie!”

Me: “Good. How are you?”

Mom: “I didn’t ask that.”

(I promptly walked off down the hallway to sit on the floor and think about my actions.)

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