Getting Heated About Not Getting Heated  

, , , , | Right | August 23, 2019

(I work at a popular coffee stand in a wealthy area mall. This morning our oven decided to break, not allowing us to warm up any pastries.)

Customer: “I need a croissant warmed up.”

Me: “I’m so sorry, but our oven is broken. Would you still like the croissant?”

Customer: *exhales loudly* “I’m in a hurry and you’re going to let me starve?!”

Me: “Um, no. I can still sell you the croissant; it just won’t be warmed up.” 


Me: “Okay. Well, there’s another coffee shop right on the other side of the food court here. Or there are all these other restaurants that sell warm food…” 

Customer: “No! I don’t have time for that. What are you going to do for me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there really isn’t anything I can do. I wish our oven was working.”

Customer: “Give me your name and manager’s number! I can’t believe you’re making me starve!”

(The entire conversation took about ten minutes — plenty of time to grab something else to eat from a different restaurant.)

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PAIN! The New Fragrance

, , , , , , | Right | April 12, 2019

(I work at a small clothing boutique that also sells small gift items. One of our best sellers is key chain pepper spray canisters that are bedazzled. I get many stupid questions about them such as, “Does this actually work?” “Have you tried it before?” “Well, WHY haven’t you tried it?!”.)

Customer: “These little canisters are so cute! I wish they had perfume in it, though.”

Me: “Oh, yeah, that would be cool. It’s always smart to carry pepper spray, though!”

Customer: “Yeah, but I wish it was perfume. Do you have any with perfume, instead?”

Me: “Um… no. Unfortunately not.”

Customer: “Well, can I buy an empty canister from you so I can fill it myself?”

Me: “Oh, we don’t make it here. We are sent all of our items already packaged. I don’t have any empty ones.”

Customer: “Ugh, fine. I’ll just empty it at home and refill it with perfume. My daughter loves spraying my perfume, so I can give her this so she has her own! She just loves sparkles!”  

Me: “I strongly advise you not to do that. You shouldn’t mess around with pepper spray canisters. You also don’t want to take the chance of not getting it all out resulting in your daughter hurting herself.”

Customer: “You don’t know what you’re talking about! You need to learn about your products more! I’m buying this for my daughter right now so she can have a matching perfume with me!”

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Scraping Through The Allergies

, , , , , , | Right | April 11, 2019

(I work at a popular coffee chain that offers many non-dairy milk options. We always ask customers if they still want whipped cream when ordering a non-dairy milk drink that usually comes with it. I am making the drinks and receive an order for a soy latte that calls for whipped cream on top. I decide to double check with the customer to make sure that’s what they want.)

Me: “Hi! Did you have the soy latte?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Awesome. The recipe calls for whipped cream; did you still want that?”

Customer: “Well, duh! Why wouldn’t I?”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am. I always like to double check when I make drinks with non-dairy milk.” *hands out the drink with whipped cream*

Customer: “There isn’t dairy in this is there?”

Me: “In the whipped cream? Yes. Whipped cream has dairy.”

Customer: “Are you trying to kill me?! I’m deathly allergic! Take it off!”

Me: “Sorry about that. I’ll just remake it for you. If you’re deathly allergic I don’t want to take any chances.”

Customer: “No! I don’t have time for that! Just give it to me! I’ll scrape it off!”

(Guess who received a customer complaint later that day?)

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Putting The Cold Into Cold Hard Cash

, , , , , | Right | April 4, 2019

While I am working at a gas station, a customer pulls up to the pumps and then comes inside. He wanders around for a moment and eventually grabs an ice cream cone from the cooler. He unwraps it and starts eating it as he heads to the register, ripping off the entire ice cream top in one go.

Then he seems to realize his mistake, as he can’t coherently communicate with ice cream in his mouth. His solution?

He spits the ice cream into his hand, asks for $10 on his pump, puts the ice cream back in his mouth, and proceeds to pay for the order in cash… with the hand that was holding the ice cream glob.

As you might imagine, the cashier is less than enthused to take the money and makes a beeline for the bathroom to wash his hands immediately after completing the transaction.

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Almost Foaming At The Mouth

, , , , , | Right | April 3, 2019

(I am making drinks and handing them out at a popular coffee shop. I am working on a cappuccino with extra foam when my coworker comes up beside me. Steaming milk to create extra foam is a little tricky at first, but she tells me that I made it perfectly.)

Me: “I have a small cappuccino with extra foam!”

Customer: “NO! This is all wrong! I wanted a dry cappuccino! Not extra foam!”

Me: “Oh… Well, as it turns out, ‘dry’ actually means, ‘extra foam,’ so…”

Customer: “Ugh! Everyone who works here is so stupid! I’m in a hurry, so I guess I’ll take this.”

(The customer picks up the cup.)

Customer: “This cup doesn’t feel right. There’s not enough foam!”

Me: “I’m sorry, you wanted extra foam right? I literally filled the cup with foam… Would you like me to remake it for you?”

Customer: “No! But I’m never coming here again!”

(She’s a regular and comes in every day.)

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