(I am a very clumsy individual, and therefore fall down a lot. Since I fall so frequently, no one really pays attention to my trips, but I’ve had some really epic ones. I am walking down a flight of stairs, and I trip at the top. I proceed to have the slowest fall of my life. Everything is in slow motion as I roll down a flight of stairs. I reach out for the railing or people’s ankles, but everyone is just out of reach. Everyone stops and stares at me as I fall down. It isn’t until I am all the way on the ground level, laying on my back, that people realize that I wasn’t faking it.)
Random Student: “That was real?”
Me: “Yes, it was. Why would I fake falling down a flight of stairs?”
Random Student: “You just fell so slowly!”
(Hopefully, next time I fall down a flight of stairs, it’s not so slow, so I get help! I was all right, but was sore for a few days.)
(It’s the first class period, and we’re in a law enforcement class. As it is too cold to go outside and practice mock-arresting, our teacher keeps us in and we wind up talking about how cold it’s been this year.)
Me: “It’s not just here; I saw pictures of snow covering the Sphinx.”
Classmate: “Wait. Egypt still exists?”
Me: “Yes? It’s still a country in Africa.”
Classmate: “Oh, you mean with Chile and Brazil?”
Me: “No, that’s South America.”
Classmate: “Aren’t those the same thing?”
This story is part of the fourth Geography roundup!
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(My friends and I are standing in line to get our lunches when one of them challenges me to try and talk as “cool” as possible to the kid in front of me.)
Me: *to kid in front* “‘Sup, brah?”
(We are all laughing about it until one of the lunchtime staff walks up to me and asks:)
Teacher: “Why did you call [Kid] a bra?”
Me: “I didn’t. I called him ‘brah;’ it means bro or mate.”
Teacher: “No, it doesn’t.” *leans in close and whispers* “A bra is what holds up boobs.”
(My friends nearby were positively wetting themselves in laughter, and I got off with a “warning.”)
(I start puberty early, and by the age of ten, I have a well-developed chest, while most of my classmates are still very flat. I was constantly teased long before this, but the other girls have started a loud campaign to convince everyone that my breasts are fake. One day, I am in the girls restroom when the head “mean girl” and her friends surround me.)
Mean Girl: “Look; we all KNOW you’re stuffing. You can’t fool anyone! Just admit it.”
Me: *fed up at this point, I lift up the front of my shirt and flash the entire group* “Trust me; they’re real.”
(I then left without saying another word. While I was still teased for a variety of other reasons, somehow no one ever questioned my breasts again.)
(I’m the quiet kid, so I don’t get picked for group projects much. This time, it’s history class and I’m the only one without a group. I go to [Teacher] and ask for a group.)
Teacher: “Who wants [My Name] in their group?”
(No response.)
Teacher: “All right, who wants the person with the highest test scores in any of my classes in their group?”
(Everyone wants me now!)
