(When I still lived in the US, our teacher said a new student from Japan was going to join our class. Several days later, I’m a bit late coming to school — actually, I am often late — and I notice a pair of shoes sitting right outside the classroom door. Sure enough, the new student is inside, being introduced and answering any questions other classmates have about her.)

Me: “Are your shoes outside the classroom?”

Student: “Yeah.”

Teacher: “Why would her shoes be outside? But aren’t those shoes?” *points at her feet*

Student: “They’re classroom shoes.”

Teacher: “Classroom shoes?”

Me: “That’s what they wear in Japan.”

Student: “Yes, that is true. You know it?”

Me: “Yeah. We don’t do it here; we just wear shoes.”

Teacher: “Well, this is interesting.”

(In the end, sometimes she followed our ways and sometimes she still wore classroom shoes. The teacher had her put her outdoor shoes just inside the classroom instead of outside, though.)

(I am in class, and a girl I’ve seen around school has straightened her hair. It’s usually pretty curly, so I comment on it.)

Me: “Your hair’s so pretty and straight!”

Girl: “Unlike me.”

(I take that to mean she has self-esteem issues, so I try to console her.)

Me: “Don’t say that. You’re pretty!”

Girl: “Oh, no. I’m pretty. I’m just not straight.”

(I cracked up so hard my stomach still hurts.)

Many years ago, I was in eighth grade and we had a yearly event for that grade that was basically a picnic. We had group projects to work on, so to be nice to the other people in my group, I brought folding chairs for us to sit on outside while we ate.

The teachers called all the students up to get our food, and when I got back to our spot, all four of my chairs were gone. I was pissed and went around asking for my chairs back. Two kids gave them up with no issue. Two other boys told me I’d just have to wait until they were done with them. When I pointed out that my (very girly) name was written on each chair they dismissed me and told me to get lost. Fed up, I did the only logical thing; I walked behind them and dumped them on their butts in the grass, taking my chairs back to my spot.

While I was eating lunch, a teacher came up to ask me if I had stolen some chairs from some boys. I calmly told her that, no, they were my chairs, and they had stolen them from me.

We all got sent to the principal’s office. When it finally came my turn, the principal looked at me and asked, “Who are you? I’ve never met you before.” She commended me on standing up for myself, but said I should have gotten a teacher to help. I pointed out that they were all busy and that none had been available. She gave all three of us detention. Guess who was the only one who showed up? The office worker who oversaw detention felt badly for me, so I got to watch videos on a spare computer and have some pizza that had been bought for the staff. I later learned that the two boys I’d dumped in the grass were detention regulars, and I was apparently the “nicest kid they’d had in detention.”

(I’m in my economics class. My class is known for goofing around, but we still do our work. My teacher is sort of laid back with us, so we joke with her about things. Our teacher is giving a lecture until we start getting off topic. I can’t remember how exactly we got to this, but we are talking about death in older people. Also, the teacher has been sick and going to the doctor, and recently had surgery. One girl is talking to the teacher. Everyone can hear her, speaking in a uncaring voice.)

Girl #1: “What’s the point, if you’re going to die, anyway?”

(In a split second everyone turns to her and gasps in shock.)

Classmate #1: “What is wrong with you?!”

Classmate #2: “How can you just say that?!”

Classmate #3: “Wow, [Girl #1]!”

Classmate #4: “What the f***?!”

(The teacher is just shocked, and [Girl #1] realizes what she just said.)

Teacher: “Well, guys, if I’m not here tomorrow… You should know why.”

Girl #1: *stammering* “I mean, we all die in the end.”

Girl #2: “[Girl #1], if your average in the class suddenly goes down, you should know why.”

(I’m in sixth grade and we are about to have math class for first period. Our homework was to have a parent sign a test and our math teacher is VERY strict about signatures.)

Classmate #1: “I forgot to have my parents sign my test!”

Classmate #2: “Oh, my God, same!”

(They sign each other’s tests, attempting to replicate each other’s mother’s signatures. A few minutes later, class starts and our teacher comes around to check the tests. He stops suddenly at my two classmates’ tables.)

Teacher: “Did your mom really sign this?”

Classmate #1: “Yes. Of course.”

Teacher: “Are you sure? This doesn’t look like her signature.”

Classmate #1: “No, I’m sure.”

Teacher: *to Classmate #2* “Is that really her mom’s signature? If you lie you’ll get an infraction.”

Classmate #2: “Wait, she signed it! I didn’t do anything! Give her the infraction!”

Classmate #1: “Her mom didn’t sign it, either. Why should I get blamed, too, if you won’t blame her?”

Classmate #2: “F*** you!”

(This is how you break a friendship. They both got infractions, and their moms weren’t too happy. Just put up with the bad grade. It isn’t worth it.)