(I go to a Catholic all-girls private high school. As I’m FTM trans, I can’t be “publicly” out without risking expulsion and being forcefully outed to my parents. Despite this, most everyone I’m friends with knows and is cool and respectful about it. In my sophomore year, this happens when I decide to tell one of my newer freshman friends about it.)

Me: “So, my name isn’t actually [Deadname] but [Chosen Name], and I mostly use masculine pronouns.”

(I guess at this point she realizes that she’s been unknowingly misgendering me for the past three or so months we’ve known each other and kind of freaks out.)

Friend: “Oh, OH! I’M SO SORRY, ‘HE.’ I WON’T DO IT AGAIN!”

Me: “Sweetheart, that’s not how pronouns work.”

(Thankfully, she’s learned how to use grammar far more effectively since then!)

(My friend and I are in science class, working on an experiment with bacteria. Groups in our class have taken swabs from areas around the school and we’re seeing what grows in the petri dish over the course of a week. It’s been a week and we go to observe our bacteria. We’re allowed to take off the lids of the dishes. I notice a faint odor when I take the lid off.)

Me: “Hey, [Friend], does this smell weird to you?”

(To my horror, she puts her nose right over the petri dish and HUFFS.)

Friend: *yelps and leaps backward before sitting on the floor, clutching her nose*

Me: “What was that?!”

Friend: “You said to smell it!”

Me: “I didn’t think you’d huff it! You waft it towards you like [Teacher] showed us!”

Friend: *still clutching her nose* “It smells like a field-dressed deer carcass!”

(This is why we follow lab safety. Don’t murder your nose!)

(I’m taking anatomy and physiology in college where we don’t get a choice of who our lab partners are. I question how my partner got into college on a regular basis.)

Partner: “Hello, [My Name]. On Friday, are we really starting to digest the cat?”

Me: “Dissect, and yes.”

Partner: “I don’t want to digest a cat.”

Me: “I’ve got great news, then! We aren’t digesting it, only dissecting it.”

Partner: “Oh, why do they make us digest cats?”

Me: “They don’t make us digest cats; we are taking a class in which we are required to dissect them.”

Partner: “How many cats are we digesting in class?”

Me: “We aren’t digesting any cats; we will be dissecting one at our table.”

Partner: “Have you digested cats before?”

Me: “Nope, but I watched my seventh-grade teacher dissect one in class.”

Partner: “How can you digest cats?”

Me: “I imagine the same way you digest anything?”

Partner: “When do we digest the sheep’s brain?”

Me: “We don’t digest that, either; we will dissect it in December, though.”

Partner: “Is it hard to digest cats and brains?”

Me: “I’ve never digested them, so I wouldn’t know. You’d have to ask someone with experience in that.”

Partner: “Can you just do the digesting and I’ll watch?”

Me: “No, thanks, I won’t be digesting it.”

Partner: “But if you don’t digest it with me, we fail.”

Me: “The instructor will not fail you if you don’t digest the cat; however, if you don’t do the dissection you may fail as it’s a large portion of our grade.”

Partner: “This school is horrible; failing people for not digesting cats.”

Me: “I am pretty positive that it has not failed a single student for not digesting a cat.”

Partner: “I don’t want to digest it.”

Me: “You don’t have to. Just dissect it.”

Partner: “You’re gross. I don’t want to do it.”

Me: “It’s your grade, not mine.”

Partner: “I want to report the school for forcing students to digest cats.”

Me: “Can you do me a favor and look up the definition of digesting first?”

Partner: “I know what digesting is and they’re forcing us to digest cats and sheep brains. I don’t go to school to digest these things.”

Me: “I’m going to sleep. Enjoy your cat digestion reports.”

(I’m a female grad student getting my Master’s in engineering and I am late for class. I’m rushing to get there as quick as I can. This college is known to be, well, generally close-minded due to the dense Mormon population. This is shortly after the announcement of Trump’s travel ban. Also, I am not white.)

Student: *cuts me off* “Excuse me. Can you please sign our petition to show you are against the travel ban?”

Me: “I really don’t have time; I’m late for class already.”

Student: “But we need your support! We need to show that what Trump is doing is wrong!”

Me: “Seriously, I don’t have time. Now I’ve got to go.”

Student: “But aren’t you worried about how this is going to affect your family?”

(That’s when I stop dead in my tracks.)

Me: “I’m Native American.”

Student: “…”

Me: “So, what? Because I’m not white I must be a foreigner? Is that it?”

Student: “…”

Me: “Maybe next time, you should think before you make dumb assumptions.”

Student: “…” *runs off*

(I’ve also had tour guides ask me to share with their groups “my life as an international student” and ask me to translate for Spanish-speaking members for them. One more event like this and the Dean of Students is going to get a complaint from me.)

(I’ve always been fairly geeky, so I’m naturally excited when my school announces that they’re starting a video-gaming club. On the day of the first meeting, I’m a bit nervous, since I’m worried that I’ll be the only girl there. When I walk in, I make eye contact with another girl, sitting with two others, who looks just as shocked to see me as I am to see her.)

Girl: “FRIEND!”

Me: “More females! MY PEOPLE!”

(About fifty boys showed up, and the adults in charge were all men, but we ended up having six girls in the club.)