Where’s Irony?

| Australia | Working | March 17, 2017

(I work at a school. Both my coworker and I are sitting at desks silently working on computers.)

Coworker: *starts laughing*

Me: *shoots coworker a strange look*

Coworker: “We’ve just been sent an email asking if anyone has seen the ‘Where’s Wally?’ books, because they’ve gone missing.”

(The best part is that the email was legit. They did eventually find the books.)

Truly Hates Presentations

| San Mateo, CA, USA | Related | March 15, 2017

(My mom’s computer background is a frowning unikitty stating “I hate you.” A few days after setting this, my mom walks in from a meeting, purse and laptop in tow.)

Mom: “That was embarrassing.”

Me: “What?”

Mom: “Okay, so that wallpaper I have? The rainbow kittycorn that says ‘I hate you’?”

Me: “Yeah…”

Mom: “I just had a huge presentation, in front of all the PTA bigwigs, and I set up my computer and I hook it up to the giant screen, and what’s the first thing they see? ‘I hate you.’”

Printed In Ironic Ink

| Australia | Learning | March 14, 2017

(I work at a school where teachers sometimes print off online resources to assist their teaching.)

Me: *starts laughing*

Coworker: “What is it?”

Me: “Look.”

(I show her a piece of printed paper with a large heading that reads “Thank you for not printing this page!”)

Nothing Opens You Up Like Serial Killer Accusations

| USA | Learning | March 11, 2017

(We are in a small classroom having a discussion regarding many off-topic subjects with our elderly and grandmotherly teacher. The topic of discussion turns to the then-recent Virginia Tech shooting spree. I am known for being an introvert.)

Teacher: “You know, they say this man was very quiet, very withdrawn, and didn’t really have that many friends. Which is why—” *turns and gently places a hand on my hands that are resting on my desk* “—[My Name], please open up more, so you do not become like him.”

(The rest of my class and myself were stunned silent at the comparison. I still bring it up as my most awkward moment: being compared to a mass murdering spree killer by my teacher because I don’t talk all that much.)

Defying Your Paper Orders

| Springfield, MA, USA | Learning | March 3, 2017

(Our history teacher has decided we are going to play “Civil War.” He divides class into two teams, North and South. Unfortunately, he designates a mean girl/queen bee as the general of my team.)

Teacher: *to Queen Bee* “First, get a piece of paper.”

Queen Bee: *to Friend #1* “I designate you next in command… Get a piece of paper.”

Friend #1: *to Friend #2* “I designate you next in command… Get a piece of paper.”

Friend #2: *to next classmate* “I designate you next in command… Get a piece of paper.”

(The order for a piece of paper gets passed down through our team until it gets to the last person in the pecking order.)

Second To The Very Last Person: “I designate you next in command… Get a piece of paper.”

Me: “No.”

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