A Bit Young To Be So Off-Color

| France | School

(I am a kindergarten teacher, and I’m meeting a student for the first time.)

Me: “What is your favorite color?”

5 year-old: “Stool.”

Me: “Let’s try that again…”

Of Freudian Slips & Lesbian Lips

, | Sydney, Australia | Uncategorized

(I’ve just had my first yoga class with a friend of mine, who is a regular at this school. We’ve just stepped out into the reception area.)

Female instructor: “So, how did you go with your first class?”

Me: “It went really well, thanks! It certainly makes you sweat that’s for sure!”

Female instructor: “Just be sure to drink lots of women.”

(My friend and I start laughing hilariously.)

Female instructor: “Water! I mean water! I can’t believe I said that!”

Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

Pointing Out The Obvious

| Luton, UK | Family & Kids, Top

(A 4-year-old child has trapped her finger in a door, so I’m going over the accident form with her mother when she comes to pick her up.)

Mother: “Index finger? What the h*** is that?”

Me: *showing her* “This one here.”

Mother: “What? That’s a pointer-finger.”

Me: “Well, yes, but in medicine it’s called the index finger.”

Mother: “That’s not true. I’ve never heard that. Is that supposed to be funny? Just because I’m a woman–”

Me: “Well, no–”

Mother: “Yes, it is! What kind of a man works at a nursery anyway?”

Child: “A man who knows about fingers!”