Has A Plain Brain

| MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, School

(My younger sister is in high school, and I often pick her up. I overhear a conversation when I am waiting.)

Student #1: “I’m gonna go get a burger… wanna come?”

Student #2: “Over at [fast food] place? Nah, they always mess up my order when I go.”

Student #1: “What do they do?”

Student #2: “I always order it plain but then they put nothing on it.”

Student #1: “You dumba***, that’s what plain means!”

Student #2: “No, it isn’t! Plain means a plain burger! You know, how they’re supposed to make it. No changes.”

Student #1: “I can’t believe I’m friends with you.”

He Has Been Governated

| USA | School, Top

(We are having a political event at our school, and many politicians are attending, including the Governor of the state. There is a free lunch, but we get less than half the people we expect, so we start giving lunch to random people who happen to be walking by.)

Student: *cuts in line*

Man behind him: “Excuse me, you cut the line.”

Student: “Do you know who I am?”

(I don’t know who the student is, but I do know who the man behind him is, so I’m concealing my laughter.)

Man behind him: “No, but I’m not allowed to cut the line either and I doubt you’re allowed to.”

Student: “Excuse me? Who do you think you are?”

Man behind him: “The Governor. And you are?”

All Set For Higher Standards

| Southfield, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, School

(I work at a test proctoring facility. A student has just finished taking his placement exams.)

Me: “Alright, you placed into University Physics and Calculus 1.”

Student: “Okay.”

Me: “Do you have any last questions?”

Student: “Who do I talk to about registration?”

Me: “Go upstairs to Admissions. They should be able to help you.”

Student: “Okay.” *stands there*

Me: “…Anything else I can help you with?”

Student: “Nope.” *stands there*

Me: “Okay… you’re all set.”

Student: “Okay.” *stands there*

(I try to subtly signal the student to move on by shuffling my papers.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Student: “Nope.” *stands there*

Me: “So… your scores have been entered into the database. So… you’re all set.”

Student: “Oh, I’m all set?”

Me: “Yes…”

Student: “Oh, okay!” *leaves*