(I am in my final year of secondary school. We’re covering the Nazi Party in depth which includes a small bit about the First and Second World Wars. The class has gotten off topic somewhat, and is instead singing a derogative song about Hitler.)
Student: “So… did the Germans win the war?”
(There is a very long and awkward pause.)
Student’s Boyfriend: “Don’t you think we’d be singing a different song if Germany won?”
(I have stepped briefly out of the classroom, and as I’m walking back I hear my four-year-olds saying:)
Four-Year Olds: “She’s coming! Quick! Hide!”
(I have no idea what has brought this on, but the other teacher seems fine with it. As I re-enter I can OBVIOUSLY see them in corners and under tables and their giggling is quite evident. One boy suddenly appears in front of me. I have no idea where he came from.)
Four-Year-Old Boy: “I’m nowhere to be found!”
(My friend is asexual. We are discussing the idea of a nightclub catering mostly to asexual people.)
Friend: “Woah!”
Me: “What?”
Friend: “It could have strippers who go on stage and get dressed!”
Me: “Woah…”
Did you find this story in our Asexuality Roundup?
(My friend’s boyfriend is quite hands on with his straight, male best friend, who also has a girlfriend. They hug and hold hands, which weirds out my friend.)
Friend: “They were holding hands again yesterday!”
Me: “I’m sorry.”
Friend: “It’s so f****** weird!”
Me: “It is but it could be worse. At least he’s only doing it with another dude.”
Friend: “But it’s so weird…”
Me: “Maybe he’s gay and you’re his cover.”
Friend: “Maybe… nah.”
Me: “No?”
Friend: “I was making fun of him for it last night, and he got really p***** and decided to prove to me he wasn’t. He most definitely isn’t.”
Me: “That’s wonderful, hun…”
Friend: “It really was. But it’s still so weird!”
(My partner and I live about twenty miles apart, so we talk every day. I am bisexual and my partner is pansexual. We’re talking over messages about our day.)
Me: “Hey, sweetie. How was your day?”
Partner: “It’s been better, hun. There’s an LGBT thing at college and loads of people are being really homophobic and saying all these slurs and things. It’s getting me down.”
Me: “Aw, baby, they all suck and you are the best. When the ‘gaypocalypse’ comes we will ride their corpses into the sunset.”
Partner: “… That’s both the sweetest and most disturbing thing you’ve ever said to me.”
