(I have a friend who acts like a tomboy. One day, as we are speaking with each other, we pass a boy who she has a huge crush on.)
Boy: “Are you sure you’re a girl? Because you sure don’t act like one!”
Friend: *seductive smirk* “I don’t know. Should I check? Or do you want to check for me?”
(This student is a class clown in his own weird way.)
Teacher: “You all get one bonus point on the quiz if [Student] does his dance…”
(The student immediately claps, slides his arms to the side, and flails his hands around.)
Teacher: “…and promises not to do it again.”
Student: “I promise.”
(We all got a bonus point!)
(Our calculus three class is analyzing vectors in class.)
Teacher: “Parallelogram.. I really like that word…. Okay now, what is this?”
Student: “A square-ollelogram….”
Teacher: “Okay, I really, really wish that was a word!”
(In sixth and seventh grade there is one boy who will not stop asking me out, even after I literally dump him after a week of dating him. While I appreciate the not-so-romantic gestures, they get annoying very quickly.)
Boy: “Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see.”
Me: “Shut up.”
Boy: “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because –”
Me: “Are you implying that I’m Satan? Because I am.”
(That shut him up quite nicely.)
(I’m waiting for my brother to finish talking with his friend so we can walk home, when he finally finishes he runs over he speaks excitedly. This happens in late February.)
Brother: “You’ll never believe this! I got a date.”
Me: “You’re right; I don’t believe you. Who’s the unlucky girl?”
Brother: *ignoring my insults* “Oh it’s [Girl my brother has a crush on even though she bullies everyone]. She says to meet her at [Movie Place] on the 30th! I can’t wait!”
Me: “…how many days are in February?”
Brother: “I don’t know, like 29? Ohhh, darn.”
Me: “This is so going on the Internet.”
Brother: “You wouldn’t!”
(Yes, I would.)
