That Work/Life Imbalance Can Go Either Way…

Both my partner and I work as salaried specialists, with no overtime pay. We love our jobs, and we often help out even if it goes over our weekly contractual hours. Since we had our daughter four years ago, our world has become smaller, with her being our first priority, then our jobs, and whatever is left goes to our relationship. And it is not much, as our families live in another country and can’t help.

The last six months, my boyfriend has been working on a huge project, with a demanding client that is located several time zones away, resulting in late online meetings and calls almost every day. I also sometimes work a couple of hours in the evenings after our daughter has gone to bed, but not nearly as much.

I shared this with my manager as we have a very nice and personal relationship. She came up with an idea to pick a slower day, possibly a Friday, and just block an hour or two for a nice, long lunch with my boyfriend, while our girl is in daycare. She said I was welcome to do that once a month or so, as she had full trust in me managing my time and not falling behind on my tasks. I shared this idea with my boyfriend, and he was on board. So, we picked a Friday a couple of weeks ahead, blocked an hour in our calendars, planned to both work from home that day, and reserved a table in a nice little cafe just around the corner of our house.

The day comes, and we are both home, working. I can hear him pick up a call with his manager. I can only hear his side of the conversation:

My Boyfriend: “Correct, I am not available between 12 and 13, I have blocked that hour a long time ago and made sure no calls are scheduled there.”

Pause.

My Boyfriend: “None of what you are mentioning is urgent, I can take a look at the report later today. The client specified that they only need the comments next week.”

Pause.

My Boyfriend: “No, I will not move my personal commitment, and trust me, you are very interested that I don’t do that.”

Pause.

My Boyfriend: “Because now I am working a bunch of unpaid overtime hours every week, and if my relationship fails and I will have to be a single dad every other week, my availability will be severely limited.”

Pause.

My Boyfriend: “Happy to hear that it can wait until next week. You know what? I am taking the rest of the day off.”

I quickly shot my boss a message that I will probably be offline for more than an hour, and she replied that she does not expect to hear from me before Monday. We had a lovely long lunch and started planning a vacation together for next year. My boyfriend still works in the evenings, but he is a lot more protective of his personal time now, seeing how much he was being taken for granted.