Put That As A Death Note On His Resume

, , , , , , , | Working | April 6, 2018

(I work in a small brick-and-mortar bookstore in my town. We hire a new guy, who only lasts for three days because enough staff complain about him. I only work one day with him, but he gets fired the next day after exchanges like this.)

New Guy: “I seriously don’t understand why people buy books anymore.”

Me: “Then why do you work in a bookstore?”

New Guy: “No, no, no. I like books; I just don’t see why other people like them.”

Me: “Are you kidding?”

New Guy: “Well, when [Manager] asked me in my interview if I read books, I told her lots, but I think the last physical book I read was Death Note back in 2003.”

Me:Death Note didn’t get published in North America until 2005.”

New Guy: “Huh. It was more recently than I thought; 2005 is pretty good.”

Me: “That was 12 years ago.”

New Guy: “Well, do you read all the time, then? When did you last finish a book?”

Me: “I am currently reading Universal Harvester—” *which is in my hands* “—and I just finished reading Misery by Stephen King a week or two ago.”

New Guy: “So, is, like, everyone here book people?”


New Guy: “Oh. I’m just here because I need money, and it looked like you guys didn’t do anything. I played video games professionally for the last seven years, so I like not having to work that much.”

Me: “You are in the wrong place, then, man.”

New Guy: “That’s what they told me when I flunked out of computer science. I still told them all to go eff themselves.”

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Unfiltered Story #107817

, , , | Unfiltered | March 27, 2018

(My wife works for a bakery and I help out sometimes. The recipe sheets are starting to look messy with all the changes written on them, and some of the steps aren’t in order. I decide to retype them with the changes, and email them to the owner to print. The next day I walk into the bakery and the owner hands me the stack of recipes.)

Owner: “My husband made a few small changes.”

Me: *internally* “Oh no… No, he can’t be that stupid.”

(He was that stupid. Her husband knew nothing about baking. One of his “changes” was replacing every instance of buttermilk with regular milk. He also reordered the list of ingredients – that I had put in the order they needed to be added to the batter.)

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Unfiltered Story #101517

, , , | Unfiltered | December 8, 2017

Get comfy cause this is a long one. To get things started I work in the customer service department of a furniture and electronics/appliance store. We had a customer who on one bill had one single accent chair, a single round end table, and a single square end table. As it would seem she wanted 2 of the square end tables, so they phoned in upon the delivery to let us know they received the wrong end table. They brought it back in still fully packaged and we refunded them for it. Even though it was bigger it was less expensive then the square one they wanted. Her son brought it in and we refunded the money. The next day she came in and I was on the phone with a manufacturer. A front office attendant (who does not deal with customer service issues) brings me the information. I recognize it immediately and take the information and get her to send the customer over. She is an elderly woman of about 60. We had a trainee who was witnessing this. Bear in mind I shortened this as much as possible. Our story begins:

me to trainee: get (the supervisor) like right now.

I am on the phone with a manufacturer at this point, and can not get off as I will lose my long hold position. She gets her and our supervisor comes to talk to the customer. The trainee is not able to handle something like this herself yet.

supervisor: Hi! How can help you?

customer: Yes, I was not fully refunded. I was supposed to be refunded $299 and was only refunded $150.

supervisor: Ok, let me get your information open.

she proceeds to get her info and open her account in the system:

customer: see? here, it was $299 and it says her I was only refunded $150.

after looking at pictures of the products on our site to get a description, my supervisor starts asking questions.

supervisor: was it the round end table or the square end table you returned?

customer: both a round and a square

supervisor: I only see a return for a round one here. do you still have the
square one in your home?

customer: yes but I still need to be refunded for the square one.

at this point my supervisor is very confused and sees I was working on this. They exchange for quite some time until I, now off the phone, step in. At this point she thinks the accent chair on the bill, which happens to be the same price as the square end table, is the second square end table that was
never ordered. (still following me?)

me: Ok, ok, let’s start from the beginning. On the original bill we have one single accent chair, one single square end table, and one single round end table. right?

customer: yes.

me: And it was determined the round one was wrong so it was brought back. right?

customer: yes and I was only refunded $150. I was supposed to get back $299

she then points on her bill of sale at the price for the one she KEPT and STILL HAS. Omitting 15 minutes of argument over which was which, I finally drilled it through.

customer: ok well why wasn’t I refunded for the square one too?

me: because you still have it in your home.

customer: no I don’t I never received it! It’s still sitting on your display floor!

she thinks the display model was the one she was supposed to get, apparently.

me: do you have a square end table in your home?

customer: yes!

me: and you want to return it?

customer: no! I want to be refunded for the one I didn’t get!

at this point it dawns on me that she wanted 2 of them. I offer to make a sale for it, to which she declines saying she switched sofas and has no room for it. She continued demanding to be refunded for the second end table which was never ordered while pointing at the ACCENT CHAIR on her bill of sale and asking why her end table is still on the showroom floor and she never got it in her delivery, I continually try to explain. She doesn’t ever end up understanding what happened. She eventually gives up and packs her papers into her purse.

customer: well, I guess I’m never shopping here again.

she then storms out in a huff. I turn around and on my way back to my desk roll my eyes toward my supervisor, she just shakes her head and thanks me for handling it.

In short, she bought 2 end tables. One of them was wrong, and we returned it and refunded her. She thought that:
a) thought she was refunded for the wrong end table
b) thought she was supposed to get 2 of the correct one and she got one wrong as an extra by mistake
c) she was supposed to get refunded for the non-existent second one
d) she was going to get the display model right off our floor

I have dealt with a million situations exactly like this since starting at this store 6 months ago, they are very simple and easily fixed. I guess it just takes the wrong customer to make it complicated beyond recognition!

When Inflation Overtakes Aging

, , , , , , | Right | November 29, 2017

(It’s probably about minus 30 outside at the full-service gas station. I fill a very elderly lady’s vehicle, clean all the windows, and clean the lights. She comes out and gives me a tip.)

Customer: “Here you are, dear. Go buy yourself a coffee.”

(I looked down to see she gave me a quarter and a dime. The smallest coffee is still a dollar twenty five. She must have been pushing 90, so I didn’t think anything of it. She was very sweet, otherwise.)

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How Em-Bra-assing, Part 6

, , , , , | Right | September 29, 2017

(I am a teenager, working at a local full-service gas station. When someone gets fuel, we wash windows as well as check their oil if they want. One day, a woman in her early to mid-20s comes in. She is gorgeous and I have a serious crush on her. Important to note, her car has a car-bra on it.)

Me: “Hi there. How are you today?”

Customer: “Good, thank you. Fill it up and check the oil, please.”

Me: “Sure thing, but I’ll need you to remove your bra, please.”

(Immediately after I say this, I realize what it sounded like. My face goes red and hot.)

Customer: *laughing* “I don’t think I need my oil checked that bad.”

Me: *flustered* “Oh, no, I am so sorry. I mean your car-bra! Oh, my, I am so sorry!”

Customer: *laughing* “Oh, I know what you meant;  I just wanted to have some fun with you.”

(And that is how I completely embarrassed myself in front of a hot older woman.)

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