(A female customer has just left the store after receiving her order. She then returns, extremely agitated.)

Customer: “My phone is missing!”

Me: “Did you leave it in the store?”

Customer: “Of course not! I’m not stupid. It was in my car!”

Me: “I’m sorry, no one’s turned in a phone.”

(The customer then proceeds to search all over the not-exactly-large shop, including overturning the wastebasket in the restroom and questioning other patrons. Meanwhile, I take my rather expensive touch-screen phone to check the time.)

Customer: “Hey, that’s my phone!”

Me: “No, it’s not. It’s mine.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me! People who work someplace like this can’t afford phones like that! Is that why you made my order take so long? So you could steal my phone?”

Me: “Are you saying while your coffee was being made, I snuck out the back door, ran around the building, found the one car in the parking lot that belonged to you, broke in, stole your phone, and got back in time to help the next customer in line?”

Customer: “So you admit it! I’m calling the police!”

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24 Satisfying Stories About Lying Customers Getting Caught

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( I am ringing up a customer. I pick up a plastic bag and hold it up.)

Me: “Do you need a bag?”

Customer: “No, thanks. I’ll save a tree.”

Me: *jokingly* “Yeah, those plastic trees are really endangered.”

Customer: *looking shocked and worried* “They are?!”

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Customer: “Can you help me find the book for my class?”

Me: “Sure. Do you have your course schedule?”

Customer: “Uh, no. Why?”

Me: “They tell me what books are needed for each class.”

Customer: “Cool.”

Me: “So, I need to know what class you’re taking.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “English, math, physics, biology? If you can tell me what the course is, we might be able to find it that way.”

Customer: “Sorry, dude. I’m new to this whole college thing.”

Me: “How about your professor’s name? We’ve got quite a few professors that only teach one class.”

Customer: “My class is at night. Wednesdays, I think. And my teacher is a lady, with a limp.”

Me: *Looking at a course card.* “I found it! Wednesday nights, with the lady who limps.”

Customer: “Bro, you’re a lifesaver.”

Me: “I was kidding.”

Customer: “So, that’s not my book, then?”

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Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Uh… how many pieces are in your nine-piece bucket?”

Me: *jokingly* “Seven. I’m taking two out for you asking that question.”

Customer: “Seven? That’s a good deal!”

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(A customer comes to pick up a phone they had dropped off for repair.)

Customer: “I’m so glad it is working! What was the problem?”

Me: “It just needed to be charged.”

Customer: “No, it was fully charged Friday and then just died.  There must be something else wrong with it. Please look at it further.”

Me: “Well, I did. The battery was at 0%; in fact, you still will need to charge it for quite a while. It is working, though.”

Customer: “No, you keep it and keep looking.” *leaves*

(The customer comes back two hours later. A coworker handles it.)

Customer: “So is it okay?”

Coworker: “Yes, it turns out there was a problem with the phone’s N.R.G. We have corrected it.”

Customer: “So that explains it!”

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