The company which I work for issues their contracts with values without taxes. This happens because taxes vary from state to state, and many customers use our services in several different states. I work at the customer service billing branch; I don’t really meet the clients, but I talk to them regularly by telephone.

Me: “Hello, Mr. [Customer]?”

Customer: “Yes?”

Me: “Hi there, my name is [My Name]. I work at [Company] and called you to talk because you contested your first invoice. Can we talk about it right now?”

Customer: “Ah, yes! You see, the invoice value is different from what we had in agreement.”

Me: “I understand the problem; please give me some time to check the values.”

I analyze the bill and check that everything was in accordance with the contract.

Me: “Sir, everything is in accordance with the contract. Do you have the contract with you right now?”

A few seconds pass…

Customer: “Yes, I have it now. Can you see it next to the value? It says we’re exempt from taxes.”

I am completely puzzled and surprised. I check again the PDF copy of the contract I have and don’t find anything about what the customer says.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir… but I couldn’t find the information you’re pointing out. Can you be more specific, please?”

Customer: “It’s right next to the value! It reads, ‘without taxes,’ between parenthesis!”

I give a small chuckle in relief as I’ve figured the problem.

Me: “Ah, I see! It looks like it was just a misunderstanding. It’s not that you don’t have to pay taxes, it’s just that the value mentioned does not include taxes yet; you still have to pay those.”

Customer: “Nonsense! I’m tax-free! It’s in the contract!”

Me: “But, sir—”

Customer: “Who the h*** issues contracts with only half the values, anyway?”

I explain the whys and because, and after several minutes of trying to convince him, I finally give up.

Me: “Okay, Mr. [Customer], I’ll look into it and position you by email.”

Customer: “Finally! Don’t forget it! I’m tax-free!” *Hangs up*

I sent him an email with everything I already told him by phone, saying that his invoice value was correct.

This story is part of our Brazil roundup!

Read the next Brazil roundup story!

Read the Brazil roundup! 

(I used to work as the computer maintenance guy on a small IT store that offer maintenance and user support. This dude come in carrying a toy notebook, one of those made of multicolored plastic. Just for reference, back in the day I was fresh from IT tech school and just 17 years old.)

[Customer] My son’s notebook stopped working.
[Me] Mmm… *looking at the toy* Have you changed the batteries?
[Customer] *rage instantly skyrocketing* OF COURSE I HAVE, I’M NOT STUPID!
[Me] *holding myself* Sir, please calm down. Just asking because this isn’t a real computer, it’s just a toy.
[Customer] DON’T PLAY F**** GAMES WITH ME, KID! I KNOW A D*** COMPUTER WHEN I SEE ONE, I WORK WITH COMPUTERS SINCE BEFORE YOU WERE BORN! NOW FIX IT!

I take a glance to my boss, who’s currently placing some components on our stands. He just nods at me, understanding what I was about to do and allowing me to.

[Me] Sir, first of all, this is just a toy. You would notice that just by looking at the [Toy brand] logo here. *I proceed to open the batteries cover* Second, if you indeed have changed the batteries, why are the contacts all corroded and fused with them? Third, I have been studying computers since before your kid was born, which should be less than 8 years ago, judging by the bite marks all over this toy.
[Customer] THIS IS A F***** OUTRAGE! I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER RIGHT NOW!
[Boss] *comes over* Hello, what seems to be the issue here?
[Customer] YOUR EMPLOYEE IS A D*** SMARTASS! HE’S MAKING FUN OF ME AND TRYING TO F*** ME OVER!
[Boss]] I see…
[Customer] I WANT HIM OUT OF THIS JOB RIGHT F***** NOW!
[Boss] I see what you are trying to do, and this isn’t going to work. You are a terrible customer who don’t listen and don’t have a slightest glimpse of manners. Please get out of my store.

The man made a noise pretty much like a bull getting ready to charge against someone, grabbed the toy and left, ranting. My boss landed his hand on my shoulder and I felt it like a true compliment on customer handling.

[Me] Have a nice day!
[Boss] Ha. Good one. Now… back to work.

I was walking back from the grocery store with my wife, a little before 11:00 am. I had four bags with our things we’d just bought, because I always try to carry all our things except for her purse. We were waiting for the red light to cross the street, and when it came the cars stopped.

I stepped onto the street and a guy in a motorcycle sped up, hitting my belly with his mirror and yelling insults about my mother. My blood boiled instantly, but after we crossed the street my wife managed to calm me down. When I got home, there was a big bruise over my stomach where his mirror had hit me.

That night, my wife suggested pizza and we ordered delivery. What a surprise when the guy delivering it was the same guy that had almost run over me earlier! He turned ghost-white when he saw it was me, because I’m sure he remembered what he did. Then, he jumped on his motorcycle and sped away. At least I managed to take a picture of his license plate.

I contacted the restaurant where I ordered and explained exactly what had happened: the incident that morning, and how he ran away and didn’t deliver the pizza. I didn’t know the guy’s name, but I had his plate with me and gave it to the restaurant, and the manager informed me over the phone that they would fix this right away.

Fifteen minutes later, another guy showed up with two pizzas instead of one, saying the second one was on the house. The next night, I called in to thank them for the extra pizza and order another one, and I casually asked about the “Running Man.” The girl who took my order casually said he was fired, saying he had a history of hitting and almost hitting people. Well, Karma rides fast sometimes.

This story is part of our Brazil roundup!

Read the next Brazil roundup story!

Read the Brazil roundup! 

(I get a cold transfer, which means the other rep didn’t talk to me before transfering the client)

– [Company], [Name], good morning.
– Good morning.
– How may I help you?
– I was waiting for the answer from the other rep.
– Well, ma’am, I’ve just gotten your call. I dont know about it. What can I help you with?
– *silence*
– Ma’am?
– I guess I’m just gonna call you later. *in an angry tone*
– You doesn’t have to. Just let me know what you need and I’ll be happy to help you.
– *click*

I heard this story from a bookstore clerk. He told me he had been working in the bookstore for a couple weeks when, on a Saturday morning, this couple came in. The wife started browsing the shelves, while the husband, a French gentleman, stood by the counter chatting with the clerk. When the wife came back to speak to the husband, the clerk noticed how rude she was, speaking loudly, almost screaming at him.

Later, he talked about the couple to the bookstore owner, saying how impressed he was with the husband, who had a very interesting and intelligent conversation, and the wife’s manner, mainly the way she yelled at him. The owner said, “Oh, that’s my friend, Mr. [Friend]. His wife is annoying as h***, so to avoid as much conversation with her as he can, he pretends to be deaf.”