Where The Term “Barking Mad” Comes From

, , , , , | Friendly | May 14, 2019

(I’m heading from my bedroom to the bathroom. It’s late and my roommate tends to go to bed very early, so I’m trying to be as quiet as possible, but as soon as I close my bedroom door…)

Roommate’s Dog: “WOOF!”

Roommate: “Really?!”

(I start cracking up a little as my roommate comes out of the room with his dog.)

Roommate: *fussing at his dog* “See? It’s [My Name]! You know who [My Name] is!” *to me* “I swear to God, she can recognize the sound of your car pulling up, but if the door to your room closes, ‘Oh, no! It must be some intruder coming to kill us!’”

(At first, I felt a little bad about waking him up, but now I can’t stop laughing.)

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Dictating The Movie Ratings

, , , , | Right | March 8, 2018

(I work in a movie theater. Anytime that we get a raunchy R-rated comedy, we always have to keep a lookout for teens trying to sneak in and watch it. This week, we have “The Dictator,” and right next to it, “The Avengers.”)

Manager: “I think those teens who had Avengers tickets snuck into The Dictator.”

Me: “Uh-oh. Do you want me to go after them?”

Manager: “Nah. I want to do this one.”

(He goes in to find a group of teenagers all sitting in a row.)

Manager: “What do you think you’re doing?”

Teen: “We’re just sitting here waiting for the movie to start.”

Manager:The Dictator isn’t in 3D.”

(They all had 3D glasses for “The Avengers” sitting in their cup holders. On top of that, we charge an additional $2.50 for 3D movies.)

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The Day They Left Was Precious

, , , , , , | Working | December 6, 2017

(There is one coworker that everyone finds annoying. He often talks continuously about subjects no one is interested in, and he’s proven to be grossly incompetent at tasks around the theater. He’s alienated the entire staff, especially the girls, and no one likes to deal with him. It’s the end of the night shift and I have been home for hours when I receive a message from another coworker.)

Coworker: “Hey, [Annoying Coworker] got fired! Enjoy!”

(I check around with some other coworkers. Seems he was working in the box office when he called a heavyset black woman “Precious,” and she started crying. The manager on duty fired him on the spot. The next morning I’m walking to work when I run into the manager, who’s also on his way to the theater.)

Manager: “Hey, how’s it going?”

Me: “Doing all right… So… ‘Precious,’ huh?”

Manager: “Oh, God, that! Yeah. He crossed the line. I had to let him go. It seemed like he didn’t realize why everyone was upset with him. I felt bad for that lady, too. I thought she was going to slug him.”

(We continued talking about it on the way to the theater. The guy actually came back and tried go to work like nothing had happened. The manager ended up yelling at him to get out. Some people just can’t take a hint.)

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