You Say Tomato, I Say Lazy

| MD, USA | Working | June 15, 2016

(I work at gas station with a well-known sub shop. I get stuck with dishes about 90% of the time. So while I’m doing the work nobody else wants to touch, prep is getting done. Or should be. On this day, a box of tomatoes are sitting out when I clock in and I assume someone is about to prep them.)

Me: “Hey, can you put the box of tomatoes away so they don’t go bad?”

(I had one other coworker in the back with me while the others were up front. Note that she’s always on her phone. Always. Including at that moment.)

Coworker: “I think we actually need to prep some and that’s why they’re out.”

Me: “Oh, well, can you start prepping them, then? That box has been sitting there since I got here.”

(All I got in response was a dirty look while holding her phone and eating from a bag of chips.)

Me: “…or don’t. That works, too, I guess.”

With No Bacon, Comes No Responsibility

| USA | Right | May 11, 2016

(I am working the counter at a sandwich shop when I get this exchange happens…)

Customer: “Can I get a BLT without the bacon?”

(When customers ask to remove certain items from their sandwiches, the sandwich price still remains the same. I decide to try to help the customer save some money…)

Me: “If you just want a lettuce and tomato sandwich you can select the build your own option and save some money if you’d like!”

Customer: “Why? I’m not poor! This shirt is cashmere!”

Me: “Oh, no, I never meant to imply that—”

Customer: “And who orders a plain lettuce and tomato sandwich? That’s poor people food! I ordered a BLT!”

Me: “…Without bacon?”

Customer: “That’s right!”

Me: “Will that be all?”


Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 4

| NY, USA | Working | April 12, 2016

Me: “Hi, I’ll have a six inch turkey on wheat, please.”

Employee: “You wanna footlong?”

Me: “No, six inch, please.”

Employee: “Okay. What kind of bread?”

Me: “Wheat.”

Employee: “Meat?”

Me: “…Turkey?”


Your Definition Is Not Current

| Fort Collins, CO, USA | Right | March 10, 2016

(We have an item called the “Chicken Salad;” however, it doesn’t specify what the ingredients of the chicken salad are. I overhear this exchange from my manager and a customer…)

Customer: “Does your chicken salad have bugs in it?”

Manager: *shocked* “What?”

Customer: “Bugs. Does your chicken salad have bugs in it?”

Manager: “What? No! OF course not; it doesn’t have bugs.”

Customer: “Oh, wait! I meant raisins!”

Manager: “Oh! Yes, it has raisins in it.”

The Mother Of All Fakes

| Canada | Right | February 25, 2016

(I have just finished making a sandwich for a woman when she starts speaking to me as I ring her up.)

Customer: “I’m sorry. Sometimes the spirits just won’t let me keep my mouth shut.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “I’m a psychic you see, and I have a message from beyond.”

Me: *not convinced* “Oh, really?” *prompts her to pay*

Customer: “Yes, it’s a message from your mother’s mother.”

(She then looks up at me and grins, I guess I was supposed to be excited. I prompt the machine again which she finally takes.)

Me: “Oh really? Which one?”

Customer: *her head snaps up, frowning* “What?”

Me: “Well, my mother was adopted, so she had two mothers, and both passed years ago.”

Customer: *flounders for a moment before speaking* “The biological one, the one you were closest with, her.”

Me: “Well, that’s funny. I didn’t know her well.”

(The customer finally finishes paying and I hand her her food. She frowns again, then grins.)

Customer: “The one you were closest with. She wants me to tell you she is always watching over you and will be your spirit guide.”

(She tries handing me her “business” card, which I just shove in my apron.)

Me: “That’s funny, as my mother and I also consider ourselves psychic. My mother’s adopted mother isn’t connected to the earth anymore. My mother’s biological mother, however, is connected to her and leaves her gifts and things. Have a nice day. Bye!”

(She stormed out, angry I just outed her. My coworkers and I had fun at her expense, and I looked her up from her business card. She has gotten in trouble for scamming people. I may believe in psychics, but most of them don’t butt into people’s lives, especially at work. You learn to keep your mouth shut; it can ruin a person to hear things like that.)

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