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Even Bosses Have A Stupid Quota

, , | Right | November 19, 2007

Customer: “I’d like pineapple on my sub.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have pineapple. Only [Other Sandwich Shop] has pineapple.”

Customer: “Yes, you do! I always get pineapple here!”

Me: “I’ve worked here for quite a while, and we’ve never had it. Sorry!”

Customer: “Excuse me, the customer is always right! You can’t argue with me!”

Me: “Um…”

Customer:  *to my manager* “Excuse me, your employee is arguing with me! What are you going to do about it?”

Manager: “Don’t be so stupid! Get out of my store!”

Captain Obvious To The Rescue

, , | Right | November 16, 2007

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Sandwich Shop]. What kind of sandwich can I get for you?”

Customer: “Uhh… I’ll get a club.”

Me: “Would you like a six-inch or a footlong?”

Customer: “I don’t know. How long is a footlong?”

Me: “It’s a FOOT LONG.”

Signs Point To Yes

, , | Right | October 29, 2007

Sandwich Shop Worker: “Would you like mustard or mayonnaise on your sandwich?”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

(Sandwich shop worker stares.)

Customer: “Oops! I mean. Um… mayonnaise.”

Sandwich Shop Worker: “How would you like to pay? Cash or credit?”

Customer: “Okay.”

(Sandwich shop worker stares some more.)