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Tits Hard To Think When The Weather’s Nipply

, , , , | Right | May 9, 2008

Customer: “Can I get a chicken sandwich?”

Me: “Sure. Which bread would you like it on?”

Customer: “Chicken.”

Me: “…Uh, okay, but which bread?”

Customer: “Chicken.”

Me: “Sir, which bread would you like?”

Customer: “CHICKEN!”

Me: *pointing at the bread* “Bread!”

Customer: “Oh, bread! I thought you were saying breast.”

(I don’t know whether to hate my accent or the types of customers we get late at night.)


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Math Is Your Friend, Part 2

, , | Right | April 4, 2008

(I used to work at a sandwich shop. We were having a special where you could get four or more of our smaller sandwiches for $2.99 each. Some customers don’t understand the concept of simple.)

Customer: “Do you have any specials today?”

Me: “Yes, you can get four or more 6″ subs for $2.99 each.”

Customer: “Do I have to get four?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Why? I’ll only be able to eat one.”

Me: “The computer won’t let me ring up the deal unless you order four or more sandwiches.”

Customer: “Okay, then I’ll get four turkeys.”

(The customer goes through his sandwich-topping business, and we finally make it to the register.)

Me: “Okay, four 6″s comes to $11.96.”

Customer: “I thought they were only $2.99 each.”

Me: “They are. Four times $2.99 is $11.96.”

Customer: “I think you’re charging me too much. Can I see a receipt?”

Me: *prints a receipt*

Customer: “Your prices are wrong, I know it!”

(I take out a calculator and do the math. It comes out to $11.96.)

Customer: “Oh… I still don’t understand, but whatever!” *pays and leaves*

Related:
Math Is Your Friend

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Natural Selection In Action

, , , | Right | April 1, 2008

(A man walks in and is very excited about getting a cheesesteak.)

Customer: “Let me get everything on that, but no tomatoes!”

Me: “Don’t worry, it doesn’t come with tomatoes.”

Customer: “Good! No tomatoes though, man. Absolutely no tomatoes! I’m allergic to tomatoes, man.”

Me: “Not a problem.”

Customer: “Good. Just make sure there are no tomatoes ’cause I’m really allergic to them and I could die. If you put tomatoes on there it will kill me!”

Me: “Okay…”

Customer: “Now let me get extra ketchup.”

Me: “…”

Editor’s note: Not Always Right is aware that it is possible to be allergic to raw tomatoes and not be allergic to ketchup. This story remains available due to the humor found in the ironic punchline. It is not intended to be used as the basis for allergen advice.


This story is part of our Allergic To Common Sense roundup!

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SpecifiCity, USA

, , | Right | March 18, 2008

(I work at a sandwich shop. I have conversations like this every day. Mind you, he has a line of twelve other customers behind him. Also, note that Hearty Italian only describes the type of bread.)

Customer: “I’d like a six-inch hearty Italian.”

Me: *gets bread* “What would you like on that?”

Customer: “Six-inch hearty Italian.”

Me: “What would you like ON it?”

Customer: “Hearty Italian.”

Me: “What kind of sandwich is it?”

Customer: “Six-inch.”

Me: *heavy sigh* “Oooookay then…”

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Ah, Parents…

, , , , | Right | February 9, 2008

(The phone rings at around six-ish.)

Me: “Hello, this is D-…”

(I hear loud crying in the background.)

Man: “Hello, Disney World? I’m just calling to say that if my children don’t finish their vegetables in the next five minutes, we won’t be visiting you this year.”

Me: “I… er… What?”

Man: *whispering* “Thank you.” *click*

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