Some People Can Drive In Their Sleep

| USA | Health & Body

(I’m working an evening shift. I notice a woman in line with her mouth open and eyes closed. I stare for just a moment before thinking she may be disabled and therefore I was being rude. After a moment, one of my associates comes over to me.)

Associate: “Do you see that woman?!”

Me: “Yeah… why? What’s up?”

Associate: “She’s messed up!”

Me: “Like… uh, how?”

Associate: “Like she passed out standing up. She dozed off… I was like ‘Ma’am?’ but I didn’t know what was going on. I wanted to ask her if she was okay but I didn’t want to be rude.”

Me: “Passed out?”

Associate: “Yeah, she freaked herself out when she woke up, too. She dropped all her stuff suddenly.”

Me: “What? Wow, um, I thought maybe she was autistic or some kind of disabled. Maybe she’s narcoleptic?”

Associate: “Or on drugs. I hope she’s okay. Should I ask? Would it be rude?”

Me: “I… I don’t know.”

(She eventually gets down to me at the register. Just as my associate had described, she dozed off standing up.)

Me: *softly* “Ma’am? … Um… ma- ma’am?”

(Her eyes flicker open softly. Her mouth still hanging open, she shuffles over to me, one of her eyes opened more than the other.)

Woman: “Heeeeeey!”

(She sounds aloof rather than sick.)

Me: *trying to sound polite and cheery* “Hello, ma’am! So, what did you have today?”

Woman: “Iiit’s, uhhhhhhhh, just aaaa turkeyyyy!”

(I finish the transaction.)

Woman: “Thaaanks!”

(She walks out.)

Associate: “See?!”

Me: “Yeah… she sounded more or less fine but she definitely passed out standing up.”

Associate: *looking out the window* “And she just tripped and fell outside.”

Me: “What?”

Associate: “She got up and walked off… but, yeah, she just straight up fell outside right out the door. I hope she didn’t drive here.”

Me: “Yikes…”

Needs An Email Without Fail

| USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I answer the phone at work.)

Customer: “I’m trying to place a catering order online, but it seems to be malfunctioning.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. The most we can do is tell our IT department about the problem and they can look into it. However, I can take your order over the phone if you’d like.”

Customer: “I guess that could work. After I give you my order, you guys will send me an e-mail confirmation?”

Me: “…Well, no, ma’am, we don’t typically send confirmations for orders taken over the phone. The e-mail confirmations are the system telling you that the order was successfully placed. I can personally tell you that your order was successfully placed as I am on the phone with you right now.”

Customer: “Oh, well, maybe I’ll just keep trying. Thanks anyway!”

Faced With The Obvious

| SK, Canada | Bizarre

(A late middle-aged customer comes in while I’m in the back, so I walk up to the front, putting gloves on as I go. He’s standing slightly far back from the counter, though, so I’m not sure if he’s ready to order.)

Me: “Hi, there! Can I help you?”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t come in just to stare at your pretty face, sweetheart!”