(I am in a sandwich shop waiting in line while the customer ahead of me orders.)

Customer: “Can I get a six-inch gluten-free bread?”

Employee: “Sure, no problem. Do you want me to toast the bread before I put the toppings on?”

(This is a standard offer for their gluten-free bread.)

Customer: “Yes.”

Employee: *after toasting* “So, what kind of sandwich are you having today?”

Customer: “Scrape off the gluten.”

Employee: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “I can see the gluten. The dark bits. Scrape them off.”

(The employee scrapes off the toasted bits of the bread.)

Customer: “I want [Sandwich].”

Employee: *puts the first type of meat on the bread*

Customer: “NO! Ham goes on the other side.”

Employee: *puts ham on the other side and starts putting on salami*

Customer: “No! Salami goes on last!”

(This goes on for each and every single thing the employee puts on the sub. The entire time he’s smiling like she’s the best customer in the world.)

Me: *after she makes her purchase and leaves* “Doesn’t she know it’s all going to the same place anyway? It tastes the same however you put it together.”

Employee: “Yes, it does.”

Me: “How do you put up with customers like that?”

Employee: “She’s a secret shopper. [Nearby Branch of the same company] told me she might come by today.”

This story is part of our Celiac Awareness Day roundup!

Read the next Celiac Awareness Day roundup story!

Read the Celiac Awareness Day roundup!

(I work at gas station with a well-known sub shop. I get stuck with dishes about 90% of the time. So while I’m doing the work nobody else wants to touch, prep is getting done. Or should be. On this day, a box of tomatoes are sitting out when I clock in and I assume someone is about to prep them.)

Me: “Hey, can you put the box of tomatoes away so they don’t go bad?”

(I had one other coworker in the back with me while the others were up front. Note that she’s always on her phone. Always. Including at that moment.)

Coworker: “I think we actually need to prep some and that’s why they’re out.”

Me: “Oh, well, can you start prepping them, then? That box has been sitting there since I got here.”

(All I got in response was a dirty look while holding her phone and eating from a bag of chips.)

Me: “…or don’t. That works, too, I guess.”

(I am working the counter at a sandwich shop when I get this exchange happens…)

Customer: “Can I get a BLT without the bacon?”

(When customers ask to remove certain items from their sandwiches, the sandwich price still remains the same. I decide to try to help the customer save some money…)

Me: “If you just want a lettuce and tomato sandwich you can select the build your own option and save some money if you’d like!”

Customer: “Why? I’m not poor! This shirt is cashmere!”

Me: “Oh, no, I never meant to imply that—”

Customer: “And who orders a plain lettuce and tomato sandwich? That’s poor people food! I ordered a BLT!”

Me: “…Without bacon?”

Customer: “That’s right!”

Me: “Will that be all?”

Related:
With No Bacon, Comes No Responsibility, Part 2
With No Bacon, Comes No Responsibility

Me: “Hi, I’ll have a six inch turkey on wheat, please.”

Employee: “You wanna footlong?”

Me: “No, six inch, please.”

Employee: “Okay. What kind of bread?”

Me: “Wheat.”

Employee: “Meat?”

Me: “…Turkey?”

(We have an item called the “Chicken Salad;” however, it doesn’t specify what the ingredients of the chicken salad are. I overhear this exchange from my manager and a customer…)

Customer: “Does your chicken salad have bugs in it?”

Manager: *shocked* “What?”

Customer: “Bugs. Does your chicken salad have bugs in it?”

Manager: “What? No! OF course not; it doesn’t have bugs.”

Customer: “Oh, wait! I meant raisins!”

Manager: “Oh! Yes, it has raisins in it.”