No Meat In Their Brain

| Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

(I’m waiting in line to get a sandwich when I overhear this conversation between a customer in line ahead of me and the employee behind the counter.)

Customer: “What kind of meat comes on the vegetarian sub?”

Employee: “Uh… the vegetarian sub doesn’t have any meat on it, ma’am. That’s why it’s called the vegetarian sub.”

Customer: “Well, that sounds bland and boring as h***. Who the h*** would eat that?”

Employee: “A vegetarian?”

Customer: “Well I’m a vegetarian, and I wouldn’t eat a sub with no meat on it!”

Employee: “Uh… how can you be a vegetarian if you eat meat, ma’am?”

Customer: “Huh? What are you talking about?”

Employee: “Vegetarians are people who don’t eat meat.”

Customer: *snorts* “No they’re not, you idiot! A vegetarian is just someone who likes vegetables! It doesn’t mean you can’t eat meat too!”

Employee: “I’m pretty sure it means someone who ONLY eats vegetables, ma’am.”

Customer: “Whatever. I’m never eating here again. If you’re too f****** stupid to understand what a vegetarian is, you’d probably screw up my sandwich anyway!” *storms out*

A Gruel-ing Customer, Part 2

| OR, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Money

(I am the supervisor on duty at a soup and sandwich shop. It is in the evening, so we are very slow. I am counting down one of the tills, while my coworker is ringing up a customer. The customer completes his order, and it is handed out to him a few minutes later.)

Customer: *to my co-worker* “Um, miss, I ordered soup, and there is no soup in here.”

(My coworker pulls up the receipt to double-check, though we both know he did not order any soup.)

Coworker: “I apologize; you did not order the soup. However, I can have it out to you in just a moment. I’ll add it to your sandwich so you will only have to pay the combo price of one dollar for it.”

Customer: “I don’t have enough money for that. I think I should get it free.”

(My coworker glances at me awkwardly, so I decide to step in.)

Me: “Sir, she is just adding on the amount you would have paid had you included the soup in your first order. If you order a sandwich, soup is just a dollar extra. So she is only charging you what you would have been charged in the first place.”

Customer: “I understand that, but it wasn’t in my first order so I shouldn’t have to pay for it. Plus I don’t have enough to pay for it.”

Me: “Sir, I was standing here for your entire order. No one else has ordered since you. While I understand it was a simple mistake, you did not order soup. However, we are not charging you full price which would be $2.50 for a cup of soup; we are charging you a dollar. So to be fair, you are still getting the same deal you would have gotten.”

Customer: “Right. But I only have the $7.50 for the sandwich.”

Me: “…so no matter what, you wouldn’t have been able to afford the soup?”

Customer: “Right. But you didn’t include it in the first order, so I want it free.”

Me: “But if you had ordered it in your first order, you wouldn’t have been able to afford it. We would not have been able to include it anyway.”

Customer: “Look. This isn’t hard. I just want the soup for free.”

Me: “I’m just supposed to give you soup free because you can’t afford it?”

Customer: “Will it help if I tell you my friend is sick, and she really wants this soup?”

Me: “Not at this point, sorry.”

Customer: “Fine, whatever…”

Related:
A Gruel-ing Customer

Flying Off The Handle Will Get You Handled

| USA | Food & Drink, Money

(I handle our catering and delivery orders at my store. A customer wants her check split between two credit cards. The second card number doesn’t work. Unless it’s fixed before the driver leaves, we cannot send a receipt with the driver. The customer doesn’t answer when I call, or return my call before the driver leaves. The customer later calls, but she never got my message, and actually would like to place another order for the next day. I finish up with the order for tomorrow,before bringing up today’s order.)

Me: “While I have you, I actually called earlier and left a message. We had an issue with your charges today. Did you receive my message?”

Customer: “Oh? No, I’m out of my office.”

Me: “No problem, ma’am. We had a small problem with one of your card numbers; whoever you spoke to may have copied it down incorrectly. The driver will be unable to bring you a physical copy of the receipt today, because we were unable to charge the card before he left. We will still be able to split the payment, and fax over a copy of your receipt for your records after he returns.”

(We go over the card numbers, and she gives me the number I needed. Whoever copied it added an extra zero into it.)

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. When our driver returns, I can fax over a copy of this receipt.”

Customer: “Can you e-mail the receipt?”

Me: “We can’t really e-mail receipts. They don’t show up in our system for a few days and we don’t really have a professional method of e-mailing them.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t really have a fax number right now. Can I just call tomorrow with a fax number, and you can do it tomorrow?”

Me: “Sure, if that works for you, that’s fine.”

(When the driver returns, I split the payment and everything is fine. The next day, my coworker talks to the same woman on the phone when she calls to give us her fax number.)

Customer: “I’m very upset. I had to go through a lot of trouble to get my payment split yesterday.”

Coworker: “Unfortunately, our system isn’t designed to split payments, so it’s a little involved to make it work. I’m sorry you had so much trouble; what actually happened?”

Customer: “Well, I just wanted my payment split between two cards. It’s not difficult!”

Coworker: “Splitting a payment is not a normal function in our system. I’m sorry if you had some issues yesterday, but it seems to have worked out fine in the end.”

Customer: “Yes, well—”

Coworker: “I mean, was anything else wrong with your order? Was it late, or was the food not good?”

Customer: “No, it was on time. The food was fine.”

Coworker: “Did we forget anything with your order? You seem to have liked it enough to order with us again today, which we of course were happy to see.”

Customer: “Well, no, nothing was wrong with the order.”

Coworker: “So it was just getting your payment split that was a problem?”

Customer: “I was told that I could have my receipt e-mailed to me.”

Coworker: “I don’t know who you spoke to, but we aren’t readily able to e-mail receipts. They don’t show up in the system for a day or two and faxing them is really the fastest way to get them to you.”

Customer: “Well, this has just been such a hassle. I’m going to want to speak to a manager about this problem.”

Coworker: “Well, I am a manager, ma’am. What is it that I can help you with?”

Customer: “Oh… Well, that girl that I spoke to yesterday about this, she just really didn’t seem like she knew what she was doing at all.”

Coworker: “From what you’ve told me, she did everything exactly as she was supposed to do it. As I’ve said, splitting payments is not a normal function on our system.”

Customer: “I don’t know about that. She just seemed all over the place and unorganized. I think you really should talk to her about getting her act together.”

Coworker: “Well, ma’am, I really cannot see anything that she did incorrectly that I would need to speak with her about. Your order’s payments are accurately in the system, and split right down the middle. Is there anything else that I could do for you?”

Customer: “No, I guess not. Thank you.”

Coworker: “Thank you, ma’am. We’re happy that you enjoyed your lunch these past two days! Have a great day!”

(Later, I fax over her finalized receipt, with everything charged just the way she wanted it. I haven’t heard back from her yet!)