Need To Apply Yourself To Your Application

| USA | Working | September 3, 2014

(Someone turns in a job application to me. I take it into the back and give it a glance over. The first thing I notice is that none of the non-informational questions – i.e., why do you want to work here? etc. – are answered. I look on the back and see no previous job experience. I flip back to the front and note that they are asking for a ridiculous pay per hour for a no experience needed position with no previous job experience and no effort put into their application. I start to wonder if this was a serious attempt at a job search when I notice one final detail – he did not write down his phone number. I laugh out loud and a nearby associate notices.)

Associate: “Hmm?”

Me: “This application… Half of it isn’t filled out, he wants more money than 90% of you guys make, and he didn’t leave his phone number. Even if this application wasn’t instantly rejected, how would we call him back?”

(The associate looks at the application for a moment.)

Associate: “[Name Of High School] is in [Far Away City], but he says he lives in [City In Opposite Direction]. Unless he commutes an hour to and from school every day, he’s lying.”

Me: “What? Why would you even lie about what high school you were going to? It’s high school, who cares.”

Associate: “Yeah. What a dweeb. We should totally hire him!”

Me: “I’ll go hire a psychic to give me his phone number so I can give him a call back!”

(I sticky note the application ‘How to not fill out an application’ and leave it on the desk for other managers to look at. I make sure that our store manager sees it before it gets thrown away. Two days later, the applicant actually calls and I answer the phone. I recognize the name because of the attention I had given to the application. I ask him to hold.)

Me: “Hey, [Store Manager], remember that ridiculously hilarious application I showed you a while ago? The one where he didn’t fill out any of the questions, lied about what school he went to, and didn’t write down his phone number?”

Store Manager: “Yeaaah?”

Me: “Well, he just called asking about his application. What, uh… what do I tell him?”

Store Manager: “Maybe suggestions on how to fill out a job application?”

Me: “If you want to tell him that, then you can talk to him!”

Taxing Taxing

| MD, USA | Right | August 15, 2014

(Two customers come in close to closing and order three milkshakes. One of my employees makes them, they pay and leave. Five minutes later they come back in.)

Customer #1: “These shakes all taste funny. We tried all three. They’re all sour. We would like our money refunded.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. Give me just a moment.”

(The card charges for the day don’t go through until we manually process them at the end of the night. Rather than giving them a refund for the charge amount, I find their exact order and comp off the shakes, making their order total $0.00 and removing their charge from having ever existed. I hand them a copy of the comped receipt.)

Me: “Well, here you go. Sorry about the shakes. Have a good night.”

Customer #1: “This is only for $8.70. We were charged $9.22.”

Me: “It just says $8.70 because that’s the price for the shakes without tax, which was removed from the bill making the total bill zero. The tax isn’t displayed because no tax can be added to a total of zero.”

Customer #2: “What, so I’m still being charged the tax!?”

Me: “No… The total is zero. There is no charge being made at all to your card. The comp here says $8.70 because that is the original price for the shakes. ”

Customer #2: “So you only refunded me $8.70, not $9.22.”

Me: “The original price was removed entirely, making the total zero. As there is no total on your order now, there is no tax, so it’s not displayed. That’s just the way the receipt displays the information. The charge was reversed entirely. The total displayed is zero dollars and zero cents, which is the new total for your order.”

(The customers, brows still furrowed, cautiously leave. Another moment later, customer #2 comes back in.)

Customer #2: “Could I just have your name to reference in case of further incident?”

Me: “Uh, sure, my name is [My Name].”

(I include the incident in my end of the night communications to the next day’s managers in case anything comes up. I also work the next day, but am not the manager in charge. The next day, the manager comes to talk to me about mid-afternoon.)

Manager: “Did you see your shake lady come in?”

Me: “No. What? You mean the lady who thought I was charging her tax? From last night?”

Manager: “Yeah, she actually came in! I had to explain to her that it wasn’t an actual refund but a reversal. She wasn’t getting it. I was like, it was a same day charge so we can just remove the charge from ever having happened rather than the hassle of doing a refund.”

Me: “Yeah, I explained the same exact thing to her…”

Manager: “She asked to speak to a manager, I should have gotten you!” *laughs*

Me: “Oh, man, that would have been great. She drove all the way back up here over 52 cents.”

Didn’t Drink This One Through

| Auckland, New Zealand | Working | August 15, 2014

(This particular sandwich restaurant has a $6 meal combo which includes a sandwich, small drink, and cookie. Separately, a sandwich and cookie come to $6.50. As a poor University student I’m trying to save money any way possible, so I usually get the combo. However, this day I already had a drink with me and didn’t need another one.)

Me: “I’ll have the sandwich and a chocolate chip cookie please.”

Cashier: “That comes to $6.50. Would you like to upgrade to the $6 combo and get a small drink for 50 cents less?”

Me: “I only want the sandwich and cookie, but can I get the deal and just not have the drink?”

Cashier: “No, you have to pay $6.50 if you’re not getting the drink.”

Me: “Well, I’ll take the deal then and just ‘forget’ the cup.”

Cashier: *getting frustrated* “No, you must take the cup and have a drink if you get the deal.”

Me: “Fine. I’ll take the drink.”

(The cashier hands me a small cup and straw.)

Cashier: “That’s $6 please.”

(Immediately after I paid I turned around and put the empty cup and straw in the bin next to me and walked off with the rest of my meal. He looked furious!)

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BLT: Better Luck Tomorrow

| Derry, NH, USA | Working | August 9, 2014

Me: “Can I get a BLT on Italian herb bread, please”

Worker: “Do you want anything on that, like lettuce or tomato?”

Not So Sweet On The Sweet Chili

| Australia | Right | July 22, 2014

(I work at a popular sub shop that makes sandwiches in front of customers to their liking. I am serving a woman and everything is fine until we get to the last few steps.)

Me: “And would you like any sauce on that?”

Customer: “Just a little bit of sweet chilli, please.”

(I put one thin line of sweet chilli sauce on her sub.)

Customer: “No, that’s too much!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can wipe some off or remake your sandwich for you if you like.”

Customer: “No! You should have listened to me to begin with! When I ask for a little bit, you don’t drown the thing in sauce! I have a f***ing stomach ulcer. That’s why I can’t have much! Just forget about it!”

(The customer storms off, muttering about how stupid I am and how I ruined her sandwich. I turn to my coworker, who witnessed the entire ordeal.)

Me: “If she has a stomach ulcer maybe she shouldn’t order it to begin with!”

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