Crazy Is On The Menu

| TX, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(I’ve received a complaint from a very unhappy customer, which has put me in a terrible mood. Thirty minutes later, I’m still not feeling too great when four young teens, three girls and one boy, walk into the restaurant. The boy and one of the girls get ready to order while the two other girls sit down and watch.)

Me: “Hello! What can I get for you?”

Girl #1: “Uh… so many options.”

Boy: “Come on, what do you want?”

Girl #1: “I don’t know; I’m still deciding.”

(There is a pause as the girl continues to look at the menu.)

Boy: “Come on! Just decide already. Just get like a ham or turkey or something.”

Girl #1: “But I don’t want that.”

Boy: “God, I don’t know why this is so difficult for you! They’re just sandwiches! Just pick SOMETHING!”

(The boy’s mannerisms and speech seem very unnatural and rehearsed, and the girls are trying not to laugh, so I can tell by this point that they’re just playing a joke.)

Boy: “You do this EVERY TIME. You’ve done this every time we came in here for two years! TWO YEARS you’ve put me through this! I don’t know why I put up with it! You know what? I’m done! I’m sick of this!”

(He exits the store dramatically, and his girlfriend runs after him.)

Girl #1: “Babe, wait! Come back! I’m SORRY!”

(Once she leaves, the two other girls get up and slowly exit the store.)

Girl #2: “I’m so sorry. No sandwiches.”

Girl #3: “Sorry.”

(I call after them as they leave.)

Me: “Bravo! Brava! But work on your acting a bit!”

(I’m sure they were just trying to weird me out, but strangely enough, their little performance cheered me up and took my mind off of the unhappy customer!)

Acting An Oaf About The Loaf, Part 2

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

(I work in a fast food sandwich chain. Our location is in a gas station, so we don’t prepare as much bread or produce as other large restaurants. Because of this, on busy days we tend to run out of certain kinds of bread.)

Customer: “Hi, can I get a [sandwich type] on cheese bread?”

Me: “Sure thing. Unfortunately, I’m all out of cheese bread at the moment. We’ve been pretty busy. Can I offer you something else?”

Customer: “So I guess that means the sandwich is free then, eh?”

Me: “Why would it be free?”

Customer: “Because you don’t have my favorite bread. That’s my favorite bread, and you haven’t got it. That’s a big problem. I’m a regular here; I own the pizza place down the road and I’m always here.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, sir, but we haven’t got any cheese bread at the moment. We’re in the process of baking more bread. If you want to wait a while, I can make you your sandwich with the bread you want.”

Customer: “NO! That’s unacceptable! I’m the customer and you’re supposed to serve me what I WANT! Where is your f****** manager?”

Me: “He isn’t in at the moment, sir. He’s here in the mornings.”

Customer: “Get him on the phone, NOW! I want to speak to him so I can tell him how to run a f****** business!”

Me: “You own the pizza place down the road, right?”

Customer: “That’s right! And we always have everything a customer wants!”

Me: “Let me ask you something: if a customer came in and asked for a slice of pepperoni pizza, and you were so busy that you didn’t have any, and he acted the way that you’re acting right now, would you serve him or would you kick him out?”

(He shut up after that and left. I came in the next morning to find a formal complaint from the head office, because of him. My boss ripped it up and gave me a pat on the back. I never saw that customer again.)

Related:
Acting An Oaf About The Loaf

Giving The Homeless A Fair Deal

| BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

(I work in a popular sandwich shop on the main strip of our town. Every once in a while, we run certain deals.)

Me: “Hey there! What can I make for you this evening?”

Customer: “I want a foot-long ham. That’s part of the deal, right?”

Me: “No, just [sub #1], [sub #2], and [sub #3].”

Customer: “Okay. I’ll get a meatball.”

Me: “That’s not one of the deals.”

Customer: “It’s fine, whatever.”

(I should note that our town has quite a few homeless people. Most of them are quite friendly and always come in and buy things. One of the nicer ones is drinking a coffee at the front of the store. I finish making the sandwich and ring the guy in.)

Me: “So that’ll be [price].”

Customer: “WHAT!? I don’t want it if it’s not part of the deal! You told me it was part of the deal!”

Me: “I told you explicitly that it was not part of the deal.”

Customer: “Well I don’t even want it!”

(The customer drops the sandwich on the counter, and I turn to the regular homeless man.)

Me: “Hey [Name], you want a free meatball sub?”

Homeless Regular: “Heck yeah!”

(The customer grumbles about wanting free food, and scurries off.)