About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 7

, , , , | Right | May 21, 2018

(I work in an electronics store. A woman comes in at around noon, ranting about how her computer that she has just purchased is defective. My coworker calls me over, as he knows little about this particular model of computer.)

Me: *walking over* “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Woman: *screaming* “Your s****y products are what’s wrong!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am going to have to ask you to refrain from the foul language, as it disturbs other customers. What seems to be the problem?”

Woman: “This computer doesn’t work! I brought it home and turned it on, and it’s just giving me this screen with some words on it!”

Me: “Ma’am, why don’t you try turning it on, and let’s see if we can work anything out.”

Woman: *grumbles* “Stupid [Electronics Store] employees and their smarty attitudes.”

(The woman finally gets the computer booted up.)

Me: “Oh, I see the problem. Your battery pack is shot. Let me go get a new one.”

Woman: “Like hell you will! And you’d better not charge me for it!”

(I go to the back of the store and retrieve a new battery pack.)

Me: *walking from the back of the store* “Okay, let’s get this thing installed.”

(I spend a total of 15 to 20 minutes getting the battery off of the computer. All the while the woman is saying obscenities under her breath about me.)

Me: “All righty! All fixed up! Now for the bad news. While the store won’t charge for the replacement part because of the warranty, I will have to charge a service fee of $4.50.”

Woman: “That’s f****** outrageous! I could’ve bought the battery for less than that!”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, the battery pack itself costs about $25. So, I suggest you just pay the service fee and refrain from further profanity.”

Woman: “I… I…” *defeated* “Here’s my card.”

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. Have a great day!”

Woman: “Smarta**.” *leaves*

About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 6
About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 5
About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 4

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Going Out With You Is A Scream

, , , , | Romantic | July 7, 2017

(I am at a large amusement park’s annual Halloween festival, where there are plenty of haunted houses to go through. I am waiting in line and see a teenage girl, sitting with her back facing a part of the line and talking in hushed, smiling tones to what I assumed was her boyfriend. At many of these haunted houses, there are some “screamsters” who wander up and down the rows of guests and mess with them. One of these screamsters cuts through the line, sits down directly behind the girl and stares at her silently. Her boyfriend notices but does a great job keeping a straight face. After a few minutes, the girl senses something is off, and turns around to find herself face to face with a bloodied up man with a beard and carrying a broom. She screams and scrambles to her feet, looking utterly terrified.)

Girl: *to boyfriend* “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Boyfriend: *laughing* “Why WOULD I tell you?”

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