Unfiltered Story #89828

, , , | Unfiltered | June 15, 2017

(My ‘work wife’ and I are taking a break together. He just gotten a new car as of a couple weeks ago due to a bearing failure in his truck, which was older than him. He’s a mechanic and while my background is hands-on and I still keep my technician certifications current, I’m now generally tied to a desk working as an advisor/service writer. We’re each other’s favorite coworkers in our respective positions due to how well our work styles mesh together. We’re both believers in communication and big on planning ahead to make things run as efficiently as possible; when we work together things go shockingly smooth for both of us, which has only served to strengthen our friendship. While walking around, we notice that in a line of new sales cars a few have the same small plastic cap missing from their rear wiper arms. He posits that the salespeople keep stealing ones off stock units to swap to cars they’re selling and eventually they’ll run out and panic and blame the parts department for not having any when they should have just ordered them in the first place – a behavior we’ve seen from them before.)

Him: The sales guys are so, so different from us. They have no foresight – it’s all about chasing that one sale in the moment. They don’t even see that they’re just making more trouble for themselves down the line.

Me: Seriously. In their defense though, I could never do their job. I couldn’t sell cars. I just don’t have it in me.

Him: Me: either. Well I mean I used to fix and flip them, but that’s not the same at all.

Me: A dealership sales situation is totally different. I mean, I can’t even justify buying myself a new car with how fast they depreciate the moment you drive them off the lot, let alone talk someone else into it.

Him: Sometimes you just REALLY want something though.

Me: That’s true! And your situation was more complicated – it was rebuilding your engine or getting another car, and you have to be able to get to work or you can’t do either. If you’re going to get something new, it might as well be something you want. And when I say I wouldn’t buy a new car I don’t mean never ever – I mean, if I felt like I was made of money.. But we know I’m not. I’d rather buy someone’s two-year-old lease return for 30%-40% less than new two years later.

Him: I get that too. The car I wanted was just too new for me to do that.

Me: Mhmm. I mean when I say I always pay cash for my cars.. You have to remember I got my car for three grand and our last truck was $1100, but it wasn’t even running and we know I’m cheap. But yeah, I don’t think I could really sell someone else a new car, especially if they’re financing their life away.
Him: That’s why it’s good to have gap insurance: just in case.

(Gap insurance is an add-on plan: if your vehicle is stolen/totaled/etc and the insurance payout based on the market price for your vehicle is less than the balance owed on your loan or lease, gap insurance will cover the difference so you don’t get stuck still making payments on a car you don’t even have.)

Him: OH SH*T I NEED TO MAKE SURE I HAVE GAP INSURANCE.

Try Some Phish Food Instead

, , , , | Romantic | June 10, 2017

(My husband and I are trying to figure out what to have for dinner.)

Husband: “I mean there’s seafood… or breakfast food. Breakfast fish?”

Me: “I’m not so sure breakfast fish is a thing.”

Husband: “Well you never know. I mean, there’s fish candy.”

Me: “You mean Swedish fish?”

Husband: “Yes.”

Me: “Those aren’t fish flavored.”

Husband: “Oh.”

(Pause.)

Me: “Did you really think they were fish flavored?”

Husband: “Little bit.”

(After some more thought, we realized there ARE breakfast fish dishes: kippers, smoked salmon, and fried catfish and eggs, among others.. But Swedish fish still aren’t fish flavored.)

1 Thumbs
220

Humor Is Generational

, , , , , , | Right | July 21, 2010

(A customer who’s about 85 years old approaches customer service. It is Father’s Day.)

Customer: “Where do you keep your belts?”

Me: “Over in the men’s department.”

Customer: “And where do you keep your grooming sets?”

Me: “In the men’s department, as well.”

Customer: “Oh, thanks! I’m buying a Father’s Day present for my dad and grandfather!”

(I tell him he’s welcome and turn back to what I was doing. I notice a few seconds later that he’s still there.)

Me: “Is there something else I can help you with?”

Customer: *grinning widely* “Do you believe me?!”


This story is part of our Father’s Day roundup.

Click here to read the next story!

Click here to go to the Father’s Day roundup!

1 Thumbs
3,487