Customer, Know Thyself
(I am a customer standing in line at the bank. Two customers behind me start complaining about the length of the line.)
Customer #1: “Look at this! It’s ridiculous!”
Customer #2: “They are moving so slow! The workers should get fired for being so lazy!”
(This goes on for a couple of minutes. When I draw even with the complaining customers in the switchbacked line, I decide I can’t take it anymore and speak up.)
Me: “Look at the windows, ladies! Every one of them has customers who didn’t take the time to fill out their slips. Now the tellers have to do it for them, and that takes twice as long! They’re the ones holding up all of us, not the nice people trying to help them!”
(I’m talking loud enough for everyone at the windows to hear, hoping maybe next time they’ll wise up.)
Customers #1 and #2: *shocked*
Me: “Let me guess. Wanna borrow my pen?”
(The complaining customers sheepishly agree and fill out their slips. Three or four others in line also grab slips and start scribbling, while the customers at the windows look suitably embarrassed. When I finally get to a teller window, she leans towards me and confides in me.)
Teller: *whispering* “Thank you, from everyone here! I wish I could save the security tape of that!”
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