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They May Not Want Blanc But They’re Drawing One

, , , , , | Right | July 12, 2020

I work in a fairly high-end wine shop that has an extremely knowledgeable customer base, so I am used to dealing with people who have a pretty good idea of what they like or want.

Customer: “Can you recommend a red wine under $20?”

Me: “Sure, any type in particular?”

Customer: “No, just a red wine.”

Me: “Okay… How about this Cabernet Sauvignon for $18?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want Cabernet or Pinot or Zinfandel or anything… just plain red wine.”

Me: “…?”

Customer: “Yeah, I don’t want one of those wines that’re made from a grape variety, just, you know, plain, regular red wine.”

Me: “…?”

Customer: “Like this one, over here!”

They point to a bottle of Aglianico del Vulture, with the words “red wine” in very small print on the label.

Customer: “See?! ‘Red wine.’”

Me: “Um, that one is made from a grape too. It’s Aglianico.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll just take something that’s really smooth.”

This Day Went From Zero To One Hundred Just Like That

, , , , , , , | Right | June 6, 2020

I work at a hardware store during the current health crisis. I’m ringing up an older gentleman one morning. At the end of his transaction, he tosses a bill on the counter and starts to walk away.

Me: “Um, sir, you dropped something.”

Customer: “It’s a tip!”

He gave me $100.00! Thank you!


This story is included in our Feel-Good roundup for June 2020!

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Need To Make Some New Connections

, , , , , , , , | Working | June 5, 2020

It is during the quarantine period. I am experiencing some mild symptoms and have been advised not to leave my house at all for the full fourteen-day period. I am abiding by the rules perfectly.

Since I am stuck at home, I am watching a lot of shows and movies and my HDMI cord has broken, so I use a common delivery app to order a new cord. An HDMI cord is $5 to $15. Upon receiving the item and looking at the receipt, I realize the person had purchased a $75 HDMI cord. This is a common scam, since the commission is based on the price of the item. 

Immediately, I contact the app company.

Me: “Hello. I used your service to order an HDMI cord, which is about a $10 item. The person purchased a $75 cord, though. This is ridiculous. How do we fix this?”

Company: “Oh, we’re so sorry to hear that! All you have to do is go return the item to the store and send us a picture of the return receipt and we’ll refund it.”

Me: *Pause* “I can’t leave the house; I’m quarantined. I cannot be in public right now. Is there any other way to fix this?”

Company: “Oh, we’re sorry about that! Unfortunately, we cannot control what price a merchant charges for an item.”

Me: “I understand that you cannot control what a company charges for an item, but that is not the issue. The issue is that I requested a $10 item and your delivery person bought the most high-end version of HDMI cords for $75 when I requested a $10 cord.”

This was the last correspondence I heard back from the company. I continued calling and emailing them with no response for the next two weeks. I finally reached out to my bank to file a claim. A few days later, the delivery company issued a partial refund for the price difference between the expensive cord and the normal cord. They sent $65; I was still responsible for the delivery fee, of course.

Your Milkshake Brings All The Drunks To The Yard

, , , , , | Right | June 4, 2020

I am working the night shift at a milkshake cafe when a clearly drunk man walks in.

Drunk: “YO, LADY! I want to order!”

Me: “Welcome to [Café]. What can I get you?”

Drunk: “Three vanilla with no whipped cream, five chocolate with whipped cream, and put cherries on them!”

I do so and ring him up.

Drunk: “Where’s the discount?!”

Me: “What discount? We only have senior discounts, child discounts, and employee discounts.”

Drunk: “I’m going to get your a** fired! I’m the owner’s brother! You will be fired!”

This is a family-owned café and he is clearly lying. I look at my family, and we all wink and play along.

Dad: “I have a brother?”

Grandma: “Uh-oh!”

Grandpa: “Did you cheat on me? I can’t believe you!”

Grandma: “Honey, I’m sorry. He was so awesome!”

Drunk: “I… Err…”

Dad: “I’m moving in with Dad because he doesn’t cheat! I’m moving out of your sinned house!”

The drunk ran out of the café, never to be heard from again.

When You Absolutely Musk Make A Bad Joke

, , , , | Right | May 15, 2020

I work at a store that sells scented oils. A customer and her friend approach the counter.

Customer: “I’d like to smell your musk, please!”

Me: “Certainly!”

I laugh as I grab the bottles of oil.

Customer: “I bet this is the only store where you can say that and not get kicked out for being creepy!”

The customer and her friend both laughed.