(A lady and her daughter walk in.)

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Daughter: “Can I have the waffle cone with a scoop of coconut ice cream?”

Me: “Yeah, sure. Here you go.” *hands over ice cream*

Customer: “What sizes do you have for snow cones?”

Me: “I have a $2 cup and a $2.50 cup.” *shows her sizes*

Customer: “Do you have a $1.50 cup?”

Me: “No, I have $2 and $2.50.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll have one exactly like my daughter’s.”

Me: “A $2 coconut waffle cone?”

Customer: “No, I want it in a cup… and make it strawberry.”

Me: “So, not exactly like hers.”

Customer: “No, I guess not. Wait… never mind. I’ll have a small snow cone.”

Me: “Okay, what flavor?”

Customer: “I’ll have the strawberry.”

Me: “Okay. There you go.” *hands over the small strawberry snow cone*

Customer: “Oh, you made it small? When I said small, I meant big! I thought you would understand.”

Me: “No. You said small, so I gave you small.”

Customer: “Well, I wanted the large one, but it’s okay. It was your mistake.”

(I work for a company that hosts kids’ parties. One party is coming in just as another is leaving, and in the chaos, a gay couple and their daughter are getting overlooked. At the time, I am the only female on duty.)

Me: “Can I help you, sirs?”

Customer: “We just bought a ball, but we don’t know how to blow it up.”

(I take the family to the pump and show their daughter how to use it. Her dads thank me profusely and one of them makes sure to comment.)

Customer: “That’s proof, Charlotte. If you want something done right, you have to ask a woman.”

(I’m working the floor at a local video game store when a visibly angry woman comes up to me with a game in her hand.)

Customer: “What sort of filth are you selling here!? My son has been playing this game, and I found out it’s about killing the Pope!”

(She’s holding a copy of “Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood”. Its antagonist is Rodrigo Borgia, the Pope of Renaissance Italy.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, the villain in that game is an embellished version of an actual Pope who was historically known for–”

Woman: “Look! I know you’re just doing your job, but I live in a Christian household and I won’t have my son learning to hate religion!”

(I give her a refund, and then try to find her a game she approves of.)

Woman: “Okay, what’s this one about?” *picks up Halo: Reach*

Me: “Well, in that game you play as a futuristic super soldier who battles a race of religiously devout–”

(She screams, throws the game down, and storms out. The next day, she comes back and buys “God of War III” simply because it “has God in the title”.)

(I work at the disability services office at a major university. We have an open house event.)

Parent: “What sorts of services do you offer for students with hearing impairments?”

Me: “Oh, lots. We have real-time captioners–”

Parent: “Oh, like on TV.”

Me: “Yeah, sort of. The captioner attends the class and types the captions in real-time.”

Parent: “Oh, cool. Well, my son’s hearing impairment is pretty mild, so I doubt he’ll need any of that. But I told him it’ll be important to hook up with your office because of extra funding and stuff. These days it’s all about the money, baby.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s true. There’s a certain amount of money available for students with disabilities. It can’t hurt to have him come see us. Feel free to have him email or call, and we’ll set him up with an appointment.”

Parent: “Oh, he won’t be needing that for a while. He’s only five. I’m just trying to get a jump on things.”

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(I work at a start-up company in a very small office space that used to be a window shades store. We occasionally get people knocking on the door looking for the old business. A gentleman knocks on the door and I talk to him.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I bought these blinds, and they don’t fit my window.”

Me: “Oh, you’re at the wrong place. That was the last tenant. This isn’t a shade store anymore.”

Customer: “Oh, but in the phone book this is listed.”

Me: “I know. He hasn’t updated it. We’re not a shade shop. I hope you get help with your problem.”

Customer: “Well, you might be able to help. You’re a woman. Women put up blinds a lot.”