Read Alert!

, , , , , | Learning | November 9, 2017

(I work at a printing shop at a university with a really big business program. We get a lot of students printing out important projects for their business classes. They are usually really picky about how the projects look and will print two or three copies before they are finally satisfied with the result. A student comes in to print a booklet for her project.)

Student: “So, all of these pages look good, but this page needs to be red.”

(I am confused, because she doesn’t have any red pages anywhere else on her document, and if she wants it red she just has to go change it before printing.)

Me: “Well, if you want it red you can go change it in the document and we can print just that page again.”

Student: “No! I need it red! It’s all blurry and it needs to be red!”

Me: “Again, all I can do is print; if you want to change the color, you have to do that yourself.”

Student: “No! I don’t want it red; it needs to be read, like readable!”

(She was pointing to the words on her page that were too blurry to read and she needed them clear enough to read.)

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A Clumsy Attempt At Dating

, , , , , , | Romantic | October 29, 2017

(My boyfriend and I have only been dating about a month, and I’ve warned him that I am horribly clumsy and he’ll probably spend a lot of time in emergency rooms with me if we end up staying together. Somehow, in the month we’ve been dating, I’ve suddenly become coordinated enough to hide this from him, so he doesn’t believe I’m as klutzy as I claim. We are on a business trip with some colleagues in Salt Lake City when the following happens. We are standing outside a hotel waiting for a cab. It’s early December and the ballroom of the hotel is decorated beautifully for Christmas.)

Me: “Oh, wow! Look at how big that room is, and it’s so pretty!”

Boyfriend: “It really is.”

(He is standing a bit farther down the window, looking in towards the back of the room. I swing my head intensely towards the window to get a better look at the decorations, which results in me SLAMMING my forehead hard enough to bounce off the glass.)

Me: “OWWWW!”

Boyfriend: “WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?!” *starts laughing*

Me: “Those are some very clean windows…”

Boyfriend: “This is what you were talking about it, wasn’t it?”

Me: “I warned you.”

Boyfriend: “This is going to be fun.”

(That was almost three years ago, and we were just recently married. I guess he decided he could handle all my injuries!)

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Unfiltered Story #93140

, , | Unfiltered | September 9, 2017

My husband, our 4 kids, and I walked into a small convenience store to grab a quick emergency item late at night. We walk in to find a female screaming at 2 male employees. One employee loses his temper and raises his voice to her and things are getting worse. My husband and I exchange worried looks as we gather our kids closely. I jump as I hear him suddenly scream the loudest I’ve ever heard him, “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!” The three stop arguing to stare at my husband, who is glaring at this customer. Our two year old pipes up, “Yeah! Alone!” The two employees start cracking up. The woman yells, “I’m calling your manager tomorrow!” And then rushes out the door. That, my friends, is why my husband is my favorite.

Obtaining Information Is Not Their Calling

, , , , | Working | August 10, 2017

(I get calls like this on my mobile regularly.)

Caller: “Hi, this is [Caller] with [Some Company]. Can I speak to [My Name]?”

Me: “This is she.”

Caller: “Thank you; could I have you verify your mailing address and birthdate?”

Me: “Nope.”

Caller: “Well, I won’t be able to proceed with the call unless you give it to me.”

Me: “I won’t give that information over the phone to someone who called me.”

Caller: “I already have your information; I just need you to verify it.”

Me: “You can tell me what you have and I’ll verify it, but I won’t give it to you over the phone since you called me.”

Caller: “Well then, I won’t be able to proceed with the call at this time. We’ll call again later.”

Me: “I still won’t give you that information later.”

Caller: “We’ll call later. Bye.”

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Answer Your Calling

, , , , , | Working | April 20, 2017

I work at a large multi-national company. The culture there is that if you needed to communicate with someone, no matter if they were in your time-zone or not, you picked up the phone and called.

One evening, after I have gone home for the day, the phone rings. It is my manager, who lives and works in Australia. He is calling me, after hours, at home, to tell me that someone is going to call me, the next week, to talk with me about something. After I hang up, I tell my roommate about the call and say: “I think that an email would have been more practical and a lot less expensive.”

To this day, I have no idea what they (whoever was supposed to call) were going to talk to me about because they never did call.

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