Being Poker-Faced About Your Feelings

, , , , | Romantic | December 25, 2019

(I work as a barber. I’m a young woman and I like to talk to my customers as I cut their hair. I have been friends with one who is just a few years older than I am since I was 17; we share a lot of the same hobbies and have some fun conversations while I work. In the beginning, I would have never thought of it due to the age difference — six years, which seemed like a lot when I was 17 — but recently I’ve been finding him to be very attractive. One particular visit, we’re talking about our plans for the weekend. Normally, we talk about video games or the like, but…)

Me: “So, what are you planning to do this weekend?”

Customer: “Oh… I wish I could game but I’m going up to [Local Casino] for a bachelor party. What are you going to be up to?”

Me: “Oh, I have maybe eight assignments for class and a final paper to finish! I’m probably going to pull at least one all-nighter this weekend.”

Customer: “Oh, no! Mine might not be what I enjoy, but at least it’s fun! How long until you finish up school again?”

Me: “This is my last class! Hopefully the last all-nighter, but we’ll see?”

Customer: “Well, at least you’re investing in your future! I hate casinos. I watched my parents throw away so much money at them. But [Friend] wants everyone to join him in a poker tournament.”

Me: “Ha! Well, at least you can invest anything you win right?”

Customer: “Well, maybe. Tell you what. If I win anything, I’ll come to take you out to dinner to celebrate finishing school, how about that?”

Me: *trying not to get excited, sarcastically* “As a broke college student, I will never say no to free food!”

Customer: “Haha! Be careful with that! I don’t want to come back and hear you’ve been lured into an unmarked van with candy like a child!”

(Jokes about me being young are common between us, so I assume this banter is more of the same. I finish his haircut and go about my weekend. On Monday however, I’m called to the front because a customer asked for me by name and I find him at the counter looking sheepish.)

Me: “Hi, [Customer]! What’s going on? Not happy with the cut?”

Customer: “Um… no… I mean… well…” *hands me a photo*

Me: “Is this… you… winning…”

Customer: “Yeah… That’s me winning the tournament… Apparently, looking like you’d rather be somewhere else makes people think you don’t know how to play poker at all… And well… I’m a man of my word, so… Would you like to go out to dinner this week?”

Me: *not hiding my excitement anymore* “YES!”

Customer: *startled slightly* “Oh? Oh! Okay! Well… Here, have my number and text me when you get off work?”

(I’m very excited for this dinner this weekend! I plan on telling him everything!)


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Salon Has New Hair-Pulling-Out Service  

, , , , , | Working | December 17, 2019

I was a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding. A couple of months before the wedding, she booked an appointment for her and her four bridesmaids to get our hair done the morning of the ceremony at a popular hair salon in the mall. The time was for 11:00 am on a Sunday, and because some of us were on a tight income, she confirmed the price for each person, $30, multiple times.

The day of the wedding arrived and we all headed to the mall. We showed up maybe five minutes early, just to make sure we would start on time, only to find the salon dark with the metal shutter gate still down. No one was even setting up. My friend called the salon, hoping that maybe someone was in the back, but no one picked up. At around 11:30, the manager finally showed up and seemed surprised to see us there. She asked what we were doing and when my friend explained that she had an appointment at 11:00 am, the lady gave her a weird look and said she must have the wrong salon, since they don’t open until noon on Sundays. 

My friend insisted she go check, and sure enough, her appointment was listed correctly. The manager apologized, said the person who had signed off on it absolutely knew their schedule and she had no idea why she would make an appointment when they weren’t open. It was almost 11:45 by this point, but she went ahead and opened a few minutes early just to get us all started. By the time we were nearly finished, we had relaxed, thinking all was well despite the rocky start.

Then, the first person done went to pay and found out it was double what we were quoted. When the bride mentioned the quoted price, she got another weird look from the manager who said that basic up-dos start at $30, but bridal styles typically start around $60. Despite knowing the same person who messed up the appointment quoted the wrong price, she wouldn’t budge on it. One of the other poor bridesmaids only brought enough money with her for the original price plus a tip and started crying. Thankfully, the bride’s sister was able and willing to cover what we couldn’t, and the rest of the day was wonderful, but it was one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had with a hair salon.

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The Editors’ Heads Hurt Just Thinking About This Request

, , , | Right | December 1, 2019

(My older brother is a hairdresser and loves his job very much. As with every other job, there are crazy customers. This woman comes in for a consultation.)

Brother: “Hello, miss. What can I do for you?”

Woman: “I would like my hair bleached and dyed silver.”

(I think it’s worth mentioning that my brother is not a fan of certain trends but remains nonetheless professional and does what the client requests. This ain’t one of those moments.)

Brother: “Your hair is very dark, so it might take a few sessions to do what you requested.”

Woman: “Oh, no, no. I don’t have time for that. I want it all done today.”

Brother: “I’m sorry, miss, but it cannot be done safely in one day. I recommend doing it in stages.”

Woman: “I don’t have time for that. Why can’t you do it in one day? Aren’t you a professional?”

Brother: “I’m a professional hairdresser, not a wizard. Trying to bleach hair as dark as yours enough to dye it silver in just one day will most likely make you bald.”

(The woman pouted and was escorted out by her boyfriend who later came to apologize and say how happy he was that he saw her crazy side before he popped the question.)

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Yogi Bear Had It Better Than Yugo(slavia) Bear

, , , , | Friendly | November 25, 2019

(My mom has been going to the same hairstylist for years. The stylist is from the Balkans and still has family there. They know quite a lot about each other’s lives, but every now and then they surprise each other. Easter is around the corner, so the conversation turns to food.)

Mom: “We are making perogies this year for the entire family. It takes a lot of work, but they taste way better than store-bought.”

Stylist: “Oh, yes, we make them, too. They are like perogies, but a bit different.”

Mom: “Oh? What do you stuff them with, cheese?”

Stylist: “Sometimes, but usually we would stuff them with beer.”

Mom: *confused* “How do you do that? Fry them in beer?”

Stylist: “No! Beer! You know, grr!” *raises her hands, imitating claws*

Mom: “Oh, bear. Wait, with bear?!

Stylist: “It’s pretty good, and means one less bear looking for Easter dinner!”

(The stylist’s family was apparently much more rural than we thought.)

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Can’t Quite Nail The Timing

, , , , , | Right | November 6, 2019

(I’m waiting for my turn at the nail spa when a group of women comes in and approaches the front desk. Only one woman in the group speaks to the nail tech, but the whole group is crowding the desk.)

Woman: “Hi! We all want gel fills.” 

Nail Tech: “Okay, there’s one person in front of you. Please put your name down and come back in 35 minutes.” 

Woman: “So, come back at 10:30?” 

Nail Tech: “It’s 10:10 right now.” 

Woman: “So, come back at 10:30?” 

Nail Tech: “I said to come back in 35 minutes…” 

Woman: “Just give me a time, g**d*** it!” 

Nail Tech: *clearly fed up* “Please come back at 11.” 

Woman: “Well, thank you. That wasn’t so hard after all, was it?” 

(The woman flounced out with her group in tow. She still hadn’t arrived for her appointment when I left at 11:20.)

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