Customer: “I would like to use my upgrades to spray tan.”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t do that anymore. Our new system doesn’t allow us to.”
Customer: “Well, just type in your magic code or something!”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry. It physically won’t let us do that.”
Customer: “You don’t have a magic code?”
Me: “No, sorry.”
Customer: “But you look like Hermione from that magic movie…”
(A customer is getting a beauty treatment done and is trying to work out why she has skin problems.)
Customer: “I just don’t understand it. I take really good care of my skin. I get facials and I only use really good make-up.”
Me: “Well, the problem could be caused by something really simple, like an allergic reaction. Have you always used the same brand of make-up?”
Customer: “Yes, and I only use the best! I can’t be allergic! I don’t ever use the cheap stuff!”
Me: “It’s probably something else, then. What do you use to remove your make-up?”
Customer: “Like… what?”
Me: “When you take off your makeup at night, what do you use?”
Customer: *silence*
Me: “Do you use a cleanser or soap and water?”
Customer: “I don’t take it off. Are you supposed to?”
Me: “Well, yes. Make-up can cause damage to your pores if you wear it constantly. Why don’t you take it off?”
Customer: “In case I have to answer my door when I’m asleep.”
Me: “In your sleep?”
Customer: “Don’t judge my social life! You probably don’t have many friends!”
(I work in a very environmentally conscious salon. We provide mugs for people to use for their coffee so that no garbage is created.)
Me: “Hi! My name is [My Name]. I’m going to be cutting your hair today. Tell me what you would like to–”
Customer: “Do you have a styrofoam cup?”
Me: “We have mugs right here. Would you like some coffee?”
Customer: “Are you crazy? I can’t use a public mug. I’m a doctor! Do you even know what kind of germs are on those mugs?!”
Me: “I assure you that the mugs are perfectly clean. Also, we don’t believe in using styrofoam because it is bad for the environment.”
Customer: “Are you for real? You don’t have a styrofoam cup anywhere in this whole place?”
Me: “Yes, I’m sure.”
(I get her away from the coffee discussion and start cutting her hair and making small talk.)
Me: “So, what kind of doctor are you?”
Customer: “A psychiatrist.”
Did you find this story on our World Environment Day roundup?
(A woman walks in with three young girls.)
Me: “Hi, welcome to [Nail Salon]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, we had an appointment for four mani-pedis.”
Me: “Okay, can I get your name? And how old are these three?”
Customer: “Why do you need to know how old they are?”
Me: “If they’re under 12, they get Princess mani-pedis which are ten dollars less.”
Customer: “No. I want them to have real mani-pedis.”
(I try to explain twice more that there is no difference besides the price. She starts to yell, causing a scene and bothering other customers.)
Customer: “You’re trying to give them bad service! I want them to have good nails!”
Me: “I understand, and they will. Princess treatments are only less because their nails are smaller so they don’t take as–”
Customer: “I want them to have REAL mani-pedis! You’re trying to give them half-a**ed service!”
Me: “Ma’am, the only difference is the price. Do you want to pay $156 or $129?”
Customer: “Well… in that case, yes. They’re all under 12.”
This story is part of our Nail Salon roundup!
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Read the Nail Salon roundup!
(I’m working the front of a tanning salon and a customer comes up to me, completely naked.)
Customer: “Does this tan look even to you?”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I need you to go back to your booth and put your clothes on. You’re bothering the other customers.”
Customer: “But I need to know if this tan is even. Does it look like I’m burning?”
Me: *trying not to look at her* “Ma’am, I’m sorry. I need you to go back to your booth and put your clothes on. You can’t just walk around naked.”
Customer: “Fine! You’re no help at all!”
This story is part of our Nudity roundup!
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Read the Nudity roundup!
