Jerry’s In Hiding

, , , , , | Right | September 24, 2020

I’m a receptionist at a day spa and salon. Answering phones is my main job. Here is a little lovely that I got.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Salon and Spa]; how may I help you?”

Caller: “REPRESENTATIVE!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Caller: “REP-RE-SENT-A-TIVE!”

Me: “Ma’am?”

Caller: “REPRESENTATIVE!”

Me: “MA’AM!”

Caller: “AUTOMOTIVE DEPARTMENT!”

Me: “MA’AM! This is a hair salon.”

Caller: “This isn’t Jerry’s Automotive?”

Me: “No.”

Caller: *Click*

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This Esthetician Raises Some Eyebrows… Or Was It Lashes?

, , , , | Working | September 10, 2020

French is not my first language; however, I am certain that the events in this story are not the result of a language barrier because I am confident in the distinction between “cils” (eyelashes) and “sourcils” (eyebrows). Additionally, this is not the first time I’ve visited a salon in France. I know it takes a special certification to do eyelash tinting, even in my country, so I always call ahead to make sure they have someone who can do it that day.

Me: “Hi. I just wanted to ask if you have someone who can do eyelash tinting today.”

Employee: “Yes, we do.”

Me: “Until what time?”

Employee: “Until seven pm.”

I go into the salon with my friend that afternoon.

Me: “Hi. I’d like to get an eyelash tint and a bikini wax, please.”

Employee: “Eyebrow tint?”

Me: “No, just eyelashes, please.”

I point at my lashes.

Employee: *Concerned* “Oh, was it you who called a little while ago?”

Me: “Yes, that was me.”

Employee: “I thought you said eyebrows. I’m not sure we have someone who can do lashes, but I will find out for you.”

My friend and I sit down until the first employee comes back with someone else after about ten minutes.

Employee: “It turns out we can do a tint for you today.”

Esthetician: “Did you just want your eyebrows done?”

Me: “No, not eyebrows. Just eyelashes, please.”

Esthetician: “Oh, okay. What colour would you like?”

Me: “Blue-black, if you have it.”

They both look confused, so I tell them that black is fine, too. A few minutes later, they take my friend in for a facial, and they finally call me back another forty-five minutes after that. As I am lying down on the table:

Esthetician: “Would you like your eyebrows tinted, as well?”

Me: “No, just eyelashes, please.”

Esthetician: “What colour would you like?”

Me: “Blue-black, if possible.”

Esthetician: “I don’t think I have that. Do you want me to add some brown to it?”

Me: “No, just black is fine, thank you.”

She starts applying a clear gel to my eyebrows and tells me it’s to protect them. It’s a little abnormal, but I can see it’s not dye so I let her continue. She asks me to close my eyes and begins applying something to my eyebrows again.

Me: “Is that still to protect them?”

Esthetician: “No, this is the colour.”

Me: “No, I wanted an eyelash tint! Just eyelashes!”

Esthetician: *Wiping the dye off* “Oh, good thing you said something. I asked you when you came in if you wanted eyebrows and you said yes.”

Me: “No, I said no. Just eyelashes.”

She leaves the room “to look for something” and comes back with more dye, telling me it turns out she does have blue. She finally applies the dye to my eyelashes.

Esthetician: “Is the wax for a half-leg?”

Me: “No, it’s a bikini wax.”

Esthetician: “Then why didn’t you take your pants off?”

Me: “I thought we were just going to start with the tint.”

Esthetician: “If we do them at the same time, we can be done sooner.”

This is extremely weird because when the dye is on your eyelashes, you can’t move your eyelids for risk of getting it in your eyes and burning them. Nevertheless, while my eyes are closed, my lashes are covered in dye, and I’m lying down on the table, she has me remove my pants and put on the disposable paper underwear. Then, she does a bikini wax while I am trying hard to keep my eyes completely closed. When everything is finished and the dye is removed, she comments on the colour of my lashes.

Esthetician: “Wow, that actually looks really good! I never thought to put blue in the dye before.”

It was definitely one of the weirdest salon visits of my life. My friend said in the other room, they did a facial and pedicure on her at the same time while she was completely lying down.

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Hope For Humanity Is Beginning To Fade

, , , , | Right | August 23, 2020

I am an Esthetician — skin therapist — at a spa. When I am not performing facials on clients, I manage the front desk and do minor marketing for the spa and salon. Today, I receive the oddest and most difficult of calls to date.

Caller: “My daughter got her hair dyed about a month ago. Since then it has faded. I’ve texted the stylist multiple times regarding the appointment and how to rebook, but no one called me.”

I scroll through the computer to find the woman’s daughter’s history.

Me: “Ma’am, according to our records, we have called you three times to rebook and never received a call back.”

Caller:What?! I do not understand. I never received a call.”

Me: “Ma’am, the number we have on record is [number]; is this correct?”

Caller: “THAT’S MY DAUGHTER’S NUMBER!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, now that I do have you on the phone and I do have some time I’ll be more than happy to assist you in booking the appointment.”

Caller: “No, no, no, no, no. I want to book with the stylist that did my daughter’s hair. And I need to know if I have to pay anything; the color faded so I shouldn’t have to pay anything.”

Me: “Ma’am, I will book you with that stylist. According to our records, your daughter was in here more than five weeks ago; typically color appointments should be booked every five to six weeks.”

Caller: “No. This is my daughter. She is a child. It shouldn’t have faded.”

Me: “Ma’am, I understand.”

Caller: “I want an appointment in which I won’t have to pay anything!”

Me: “Ma’am, the best I can do is just have you pop in with your daughter to see if the stylist can look at her hair and give you a price point.”

Caller: “Ugh, fine!” 

I booked the free consultation appointment and finally got off the phone with the woman who was insistent on not paying a dime for an appointment that was obviously needed.

About an hour later, I reported the client to our salon manager, who told me to call the woman back and rebook her yet again but on a day when a senior stylist was also present to enforce the needed payment.

I long for the days when answering the phone will no longer be my job. The woman’s daughter wanted bright red hair; red fades the fastest. We told her this and encouraged her to rebook every five weeks.

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Maybe She’s Getting “That” Hairstyle

, , , | Right | July 9, 2020

I’m at the hairdressers asking when they next have an appointment and am told that they are fully booked until next week. A woman walks in.

Woman: “I have an appointment with [Stylist] now.”

She turns and starts to leave.

Receptionist: “Ma’am, [Stylist] is ready for you.” *Gestures to a seat*

Woman: “But I’m going shopping.”

Receptionist: *Pause* “But your appointment is now and [Stylist] is waiting.”

Woman: “Exactly! I’ve checked in on time; I’ll only be about forty minutes.”

She leaves.

Receptionist: *To me* “Want an appointment?”

Me: “Sure.”

My haircut is just finishing when I hear the woman.

Woman: “BUT I CHECKED IN ON TIME! SHE SHOULD WAIT FOR ME!”

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Today Was Looking Up, And Then They Looked Up

, , , , | Right | July 6, 2020

At work, we have these drawers underneath the shelves on the walls of the store. They are used for backstock and oftentimes I will sit on the ground and grab things I need to stock and also organize them.

One day, I was organizing a drawer and a slightly older customer walked up behind me and asked if I could help her. I turned my head and looked up and did not realize she was standing so close to me. Instead of seeing the woman’s face, I saw straight up her very short and flared out shorts; she was also not wearing any underwear.

I learned from this experience, and now, any time I’m sitting on the ground at a drawer and someone asks for help, I stand up and then turn around.

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