A Whole New State Of Understanding

| PA, USA | Family & Kids, Geography

(I’m currently having a conversation with a little girl, about kindergarten age, while I do her nails.)

Little Girl: “You know, I’ve never been to the United States of America.”

Me: “Wait, what?”

Little Girl: “I’ve never been to the States. I wonder what it’s like there?”

Me: “You live in the United States, hun.”

Little Girl: “I do?”

Me: “Yes! You sure do!”

Little Girl: “Wow, I thought I lived in the city!”

The Return: Uncut

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(I’m getting my hair trimmed. Beside me is a four-year old boy, who’s just finishing his own haircut.)

Boy: *scowling* “I don’t like my new haircut! Return it!”

Mother: “… Return it?”

Boy: “Yeah! You said that if I didn’t like my new haircut, that they could change it. Like when we changed my red shirt at [Clothing Store] for the green shirt! I want it back the way it was! Return it!”

(Luckily my haircut was finished. I left while the mother was trying to explain to the increasingly unhappy little boy the difference between an exchange and a change, and why they couldn’t return his haircut.)

An Irregular Appointment

| UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I work in a hair salon and take a phone call.)

Me: “Hello. How may I help?”

Customer: “I need an appointment with [Stylist] for a haircut.”

Me: “Okay. When would you like to come in?”

Customer: “Whenever works for [Stylist].”

Me: “Okay. How about tomorrow at 3 pm?”

Customer: “No. Can’t do that.”

Me: “Friday at 10?”

Customer: “No. Can’t do that.”

(This goes on for a while.)

Customer: “I can only do [specific date, a Saturday; our busiest time].”

Me: “I’m afraid [Stylist] is fully booked that day. How about [Other Stylist]?”

Customer: “I always see [Stylist].”

Me: “Okay…”

Customer: “They have nothing?”

Me: “Sorry. They are fully booked.”

Customer: “I have been seeing them for years.”

Me: “Okay…”

Customer: “Can you not move the other clients around?”

Me: “Not really. How would you like if we moved you around for someone else?”

Customer: “You wouldn’t do that. I’m a regular.”

Me: “According to your record, you’ve been to see us three times. The clients booked in have been coming for the last six years.”

Customer: *click*