(I work in a salon that has a large number of walk-in clients. I don’t have a client in my chair, so I am at the front desk when a lady walks in.)

Me: “Good morning! What can I do for you?”

Client: “Are you busy? I want to get my hair cut.”

Me: “I’m available right now. Let me just enter you into our system. Have you been here before?”

Client: “No, I haven’t… What’s that?” *points at the very large sign with our prices on it*

Me: “What’s what?”

Client: “It says, ‘Shampoo and haircut, $15.97.’” *pause* “Wait. Does that mean I have to pay?”

(She then huffed, rolled her eyes, and walked out of the salon, never to be seen again. I still can’t believe she didn’t realize that we don’t do hair for free!)

(I am working as a stylist and assistant manager at a hair salon in a mall. It is closing time and there is only one stylist working on a client who came in for a rather complex colour correction that is taking longer than expected; everyone else is cleaning their stations and the salon in general. As assistant manager, I need to count out the till and balance everything for the day. Luckily, the woman who is still having her hair done instructs her husband to pay for her services before she is done so I can count out the till and send everyone but myself and the stylist still working home.)

Me: *counting the till*

Client’s Husband: *standing over me shouting numbers* “42, 86, 12!” *laughs* “Lost your count did ya?!” *laughs more*

Me: “Yes, sir, I did and I am trying to balance out the till so all the others can go home.”

(I start my count again.)

Client’s Husband: “22, 6, 89!” *laughs* “Gotcha again! If I have to wait for my wife, so should everybody! I paid good money on this!”

Me: “Well, all of these stylists are commissioned-based, so they are not being paid to sit here and wait, yet they cannot leave until I can be assured that the till is balanced.”

Client’s Husband: “Well, then, I want my tip portion back. They shouldn’t be paid to just sit there and wait!”

Me: “Again, they are not being paid to just sit here and wait; they are merely stuck waiting unpaid and have places they need to be. The only people that have to stay until after the till is balanced are me and [Stylist working on his wife]. You are delaying this by preventing me from doing my job.”

Client’s Husband: “Well, what if I wanted to buy some products? You can’t refuse a sale, can you?!”

(He proceeds to grab the priciest items from our retail area, none of which would be helpful for him or his wife.)

Client’s Husband: “Keep the tills open and keep everyone here until we leave!”

(It is then that the client herself comes from the sinks, water dripping in her eyes.)

Client: “[Husband]! Stop being such a d**k! Go get in the car outside and stop it!  Let [My Name] do her job and [Stylist] do her job so everyone else can go home! It is no one here’s fault that I tried to colour my hair myself and it is taking longer to fix it than expected!”

(The client’s husband walked out sheepishly, and I managed to balance the till in no time so everyone else could leave for the night. BONUS: The client came back with flowers for [Stylist], left a generous tip for both the stylist and me for staying extra late, and pizza showed up later with an apology to the entire salon for her husband’s behaviour.)

(My boyfriend has very curly, brown, shoulder-length hair, and I have black, straight hair a couple of inches longer.)

Me: *pointing to boyfriend* “I’d like a perm with curls just like those.”

Hair Stylist: *glares at me like I have two heads* “No can do.”

Me: “Er… no?”

Hair Stylist: “You want hair just like his?”

Me: “The curls, yeah. Is it possible to perm my hair that way? His are natural.”

Hair Stylist: “If you want his curls, he’s got to cut his hair.”

Boyfriend: “Are you saying match my length, too? No, I don’t want a cut.”

Hair Stylist: “If she curls, her hair will be much shorter than yours! She just can’t have curly hair your length if you won’t cut yours!”

Me: “I meant only like his in the size of the curls.”

Hair Stylist: “Look… If you curl your hair, it will be much shorter than his!”

Me: “I know!”

Hair Stylist: *to boyfriend* “Are you getting that cut?”

Boyfriend: “No, I’m not.”

Hair Stylist: “Then she can’t have your curls.”

Boyfriend: “Forget the length already. She would like curls that match these.”

Hair Stylist: “I’ve already said, she can’t have your curls if you aren’t getting a cut yourself.”

Me: “I know my hair will be shorter! The whole point is to have curls that look like that.”

(Even a second hair stylist repeated the first one. Nothing was ever said about matching color. We left and went somewhere else where they gave me my shorter, curly perm with no problem.)

(I’m 21 years old and have been living on my own for just over two years. I am female, and I have one side of my head shaved to help keep my super thick hair manageable. I have had my hair this way for over a year. I got to my usual hair salon to get the shave touched up. As I am checking out, an older woman, waiting to be called up for her haircut, approaches me.)

Lady: “Does your mother know?” *referring to my haircut*

Me: “Uh, yes.”

Lady: “I can’t imagine what would happen if you came home and your mother didn’t know.”

Me: “Well, considering I live on my own, that isn’t a problem.”

Lady: “Oh! You look like a teenager. I just couldn’t imagine what your mother would say.”

(What I should have said is that I have two moms, and not only do both of them approve, one of them also has her head shaved.)

(A regular customer of mine comes in on a busy Saturday morning for her monthly trim. She is very particular, but we get along really well. I have been cutting her hair for at least ten years. After I cut her hair, I ask her to feel it, show her the back with a hand mirror, let her hold the mirror and look at it herself, and she confirms she is satisfied with her trim… except for one thing. She wants the back shorter. This is a usual request, but this time she specifically said she wanted it left longer, so I am surprised when she asks me to go shorter. I tell her to give it a try for a couple days and if she still wants to go shorter, I will do it for free. She agrees and leaves the salon. Two hours later, she comes back, red-faced.)

Me: “Hi! Did you decide you wanted to go shorter after all?”

Customer: “No! You cut my hair way too short! This is terrible! How dare you do this to me? You used to be such a good hairdresser!”

Me: *stunned* “I’m very sorry you feel that w—“

Customer: *cutting me off* “You stop talking and give me my money back! Not another word!”

Me: “I understa—“

Customer: “NOT ANOTHER WORD! GIVE ME MY MONEY!”

(I hand her the money and she leaves, and I think it’s all over. But wait! There’s more! Two weeks later, she comes in and demands “the free haircut” I apparently promised her and makes a big fuss about how long I left her hair. I gently ask her to not return to my salon, as I no longer feel I could meet her needs since she so bluntly told me I suck at my job. She shouts at me, and tells me this is unacceptable because:)

Customer: “I live so close to here, but you want me to find a new salon?”

(I mean, we live in a city with a thousand salons, sooo… Yes. Yes, I do.)