CONTENT WARNING: Death

I was called home on Thanksgiving weekend in October of 2020 since my dad collapsed. The following Tuesday, we took him off life support and he passed away. We had planned with our neighbours that they would place an order for food and drop it at our door after we came back.

Right after we returned, we heard someone knock on the door.

Mom: “That must be [Neighbour].”

She opened the door.

I walked past the door to get cutlery and plates and saw that there was a representative from one of the three telecom companies in Canada at the base of the stairs

Door-To-Door Guy: “Good evening, ma’am. I’m with [Telecom Company]. Do you have time today to talk about [service]?”

Mom: *In a broken, tired voice* “We just took my husband off life support.”

The guy paused briefly.

Door-To-Door-Guy: “I’d like to tell you about—”

Me: “Mom, close the door!”

The guy just kept going.

Me: “Mom! Close the door!”

Mom finally closed the door.

It occurred to me much later that I should have called in to complain. It’ll take them a few decades to dig themselves out of that hole of a reputation in my brain now.

We have a 40%-off sale in the store, but there are these ugly ruffled T-shirts that we’ve been selling going for 60%. A customer brings the shirt up to me, and I ring it up.

Me: “$14.99 for the shirt, ma’am.”

Customer: “I thought it was on sale.”

Me: “Yeah, for 60%.”

Customer: “Oh, so there’s not an additional 40% off with the 60%?”

Me: “…No. We’re not selling 100%-off shirts.”

Customer: *Sighs* “Well, I guess I’ll take it, then.”

And yes, I know 40% off of 60% would be 24% of the original price, not free, but we all know that’s not what the customer was thinking.

Related:
They’re Not In The Upper Percentile, Part 4
They’re Not In The Upper Percentile, Part 3
They’re Not In The Upper Percentile, Part 2
They’re Not In The Upper Percentile

We always have deals on soda. Right now, we have one where you can buy one Mountain Dew for $1.99 or two for $3.00. I always end up having this conversation.

Customer: “The sign said two for $3.00!”

Me: “Yeah…”

Customer: “But you’re trying to charge me $1.99.”

Me: “How many sodas do you have?”

Customer: “One.”

Me: “And that’s how much one costs.”

I love seeing the anger switch to the realization that they’re the idiot who didn’t read the sign.

It is 2000, and the Sega Dreamcast has a pretty hefty discount advertised in the Sunday circular. A customer storms up to the Upgrades counter (not where the video games are) and starts yelling.

Customer: “Why did you put the Dreamcast in your ad if you didn’t have any in stock?!”

Me: “We had some in stock earlier today, but we sold out, unfortunately.” 

Customer: “Then why did you put in in your ad? This is ridiculous!” 

Me: “…that’s a national ad.”

They don’t like that answer. The complexities of supply and demand, not to mention the logistics and lead time needed for designing, printing, and distributing millions of newspaper advertisements, are not working out in their favor. We have wronged them in the most grievous of ways.

The customer turns to my coworker, hoping for a better answer.

Customer: “Why did you put the Dreamcast in your ad if you didn’t have any in stock?!” 

Coworker: “…that’s a national ad?”

He let out an exasperated gurgle and hurled the ad at my face. Luckily, being paper, it left me with only emotional damage.

My husband and I tried to purchase a camper from a large company, but we didn’t like the extremely pushy and aggressive sales tactics used by the salesman, so we left without buying anything.

For months after, we received texts and calls from various numbers, all extensions from [Company]. We kept telling them we were not interested and started blocking the numbers, but they kept changing and kept coming.

Finally, I was driving by the company one day and decided to pull in to ask someone in person to stop. The same salesman from our first visit approached me at the door.

Salesman: “Hi! What are you looking for today?”

Me: “Hi. I’d like to talk to whoever is in charge of reaching out to people. Like calling and texting about sales and whatnot?”

Salesman: “Oh, no problem! I can take your number and put you on our list. Did you have a specific—”

Me: “No. Actually, I have told you guys at least a dozen times that I did not want to be on your call lists, and they keep coming.”

I show him the text conversations that all start with “[Company] is having a sale!” and the times I’ve replied with “STOP”.

Salesman: “Oh. I don’t think that was us, though.”

Me: “Okay, well, the next time someone calls me with a pitch from [Company], I’m going to blast an air horn into the phone. Are we clear?”

Salesman: “Yeah, I get it. It wasn’t us, but I get it.”

I left and went on my way. Thankfully, I haven’t had a call or text from them since!