(I’ve been exchanging emails with a woman all day. She tells me I should be expecting her call later in the afternoon. I give her my name and direct number so she won’t have to go through the receptionist switchboard.)

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name].”

Caller: “Oh, sorry, I must have the wrong number.” *click*

(A few seconds later, the phone rings again from the same number.)

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name].”

Caller: “I can’t believe it! I can’t believe she gave me the wrong number!”

Me: “Oh, well who are you trying to reach?”

Caller: “I’m trying to call [Company], but I keep getting you instead!”

Me: “Oh, this is [Company]. Are you looking for someone else?”

Caller: “I’m looking for [My Name]. I thought this was the right number.”

Me: “Ah, that’s me! I’m [My Name]! How can I help you?”

Caller: “Well, why didn’t you say that? You kept making me think I had the wrong number!”

Me: “I answered the phone with ‘Hello, this is [My Name]’. I’m sorry if you were confused, but what can I help you with?”

Caller: “That is so unprofessional! Why didn’t you answer the phone with [Company Name]?! How is anyone supposed to know they got the right number?”

Me: “Um, because you’re looking for [My Name] and I said my name was [My Name], and you called my direct number?”

Caller: “You should still always answer the phone with the company name, no matter what! I was about to hang up on you again and just call [Competition]. At least they let you know who you’re calling when they pick up the phone!”

(We have an offer in-store: buy one backpack, get another backpack free. A customer comes to me to pay for one backpack and a pair of shoes.)

Me: “Sorry, but the promotion only works when you buy two backpacks. You will then get one of them free.”

Customer: “Oh, I see. So it’s just backpacks… just backpacks… just backpacks… backpacks.”

(The customer wanders off, presumably in search of another backpack. She eventually returns.)

Customer: “This, please.” *shows me a belt*

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, the belt isn’t in the deal.”

Customer: “But I’m buying a backpack… A BACKPACK! You said it was free with a backpack!”

Me: “I’m sorry. What I meant was that you can get a free backpack with your other backpack.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

(The customer wanders off again, and once again returns with a new item.)

Customer: “I’ll just take these, then.” *shows me a pair of shoes*

Me: “Those aren’t in the deal either, I’m afraid. It’s only backpacks.”

Customer: “But it’s two of the same! You said they had to be the same!”

(After going back and forth for another five minutes, I finally take her to pick out a backpack, specifically. She pays and leaves, still mumbling about “two of the same”.)

(I am working in the young men’s department of a large department store. My department contains athletic clothing, including swimwear. A customer is looking at a large rack of bathing suits that are on clearance.)

Me: “Hello, how are you, sir?”

Customer: “Fine, thank you. I can’t believe all these bathing suits are so cheap!”

Me: “It’s officially the fall season, so all of our bathing suits are reduced for clearance.”

(The customer mumbles something about $2.00 and hands me the suit he’s holding, which is made by one of the most expensive brands we carry.)

Me: “I’ll be happy to check the price for you.”

(I walk to the register, which is nearby, and check the price. It rings up for $39.00.)

Me: “Sir, this suit is on sale for $39.00.”

Customer: “The price tag says it’s $2.00.”

Me: “It was originally $78.00, but now it’s $39.00.”

(I point to the price tag, which very clearly in large numbers says the original price and the reduced price.)

Customer: “No, it says ‘Now 2.’ Two dollars, see?”

(He points to the tag, which has a very tiny number 2, much smaller than where it says $39.00, under the word “Now”.)

Me: “I see. That just means it’s the second reduction. The price is $39.00.”

Customer: “Well, that’s confusing! You shouldn’t put that it’s $2.00. They all say they’re $2.00. I don’t want to pay more than $2.00!” *leaves in a huff*

Woman: “Can you tell me the price of these pants? I found them on the 25% off rack.”

Me: “Sure thing. They’re $22.50.”

Woman: “But that’s not 25% off.”

Me: “They probably got put on the wrong rack, but they were actually $45.00, so you’re actually getting 50% off.”

Woman: “But the sign said 25% off.”

Me: “I understand, but like I said, they were on the wrong rack and are actually more than 25% off.”

Woman: “I want them for the price that the sign advertised! Can I just talk to a manager? You sales people are so stupid sometimes. It’s not a hard concept.”

Me: “Oh, believe me, I know it’s not a hard concept. Let me call a manager for you.”

(I call a manager and she comes over. I explain to her what is going on.)

Manager: “If you get these pants as the price they are ringing up at, they are $22.50. If you get them at 25% off, they are $33.75.”

Woman: “That’s what I want! Why is math such a hard concept for the workers here to grasp? Just change the price and give them to me for $33.75 or whatever.”

(I changed the price so they were more expensive. The customer walks away, still mumbling something about how we suck at math.)

(I put a customer’s purchase through. The computer automatically discounts the purchase from $35 to $29.)

Customer: “I’m sorry, you’ve made some mistake. The price isn’t correct on the screen.”

Me: “Yes, there’s actually a discount on some of your items.”

Customer: “No. I added the prices as I went around. I’m very good at maths, and you’ve processed the sale wrong.”

Me: “Sorry, I’m confused. You would rather pay the full price?”

Customer: “Give me your manager.”

(My manager has overheard most of this.)

Manager: “Can I help?”

Customer: “Your staff has processed my sale completely wrong. I demand that you correct this.”

Manager: “Of course.” *bumps the price up* “The price is $35, ma’am.”

Customer: *glowering in my direction* “Didn’t hurt, did it?”