Found An Opening

, , , , | Right | September 11, 2019

(We usually get to the store ten to fifteen minutes before opening. My coworker has lifted the gate just barely enough to get through and is heading to the back room when he hears something and turns around to see a man IN the store.)

Man: *standing in a room with no lights on and having just gone under a three-quarters-closed gate* “Are you open?”

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Unfiltered Story #157548

, , , | Unfiltered | July 12, 2019

(Our store offers a service where you can send a money order payed for at one location and have it filled out to be picked up at any of our other locations. This exchange happened between to guys while i was processing an money order for one of them who explained that it was for his ex-wife)

Customer: I’m serious bro don’t ever get married.

Bro: i wasn’t planning on it.

Customer: (with a serious face and tone) No seriously don’t ever get married.

Bro: Dude seriously I–
(customer cuts him off)
Customer: Just listen to me, Don’t ever get married.

Bro: (with a smile on his face) Dude I’ve been dating my girlfriend longer than you’ve known your Ex-wife.

(I couldn’t help myself i broke out laughing as i handed him his receipt, and he just stalked away from the counter)

Bro: (still smiling) Have a nice day mam

Unfiltered Story #156827

, , , | Unfiltered | July 2, 2019

I do food service at a local theme park. I had just got off of my break, and was walking back to the stand I was scheduled for that day. It’s July 4th, and had been raining slightly. A guest walks up to me with an umbrella opened. It’s 2:30 in the afternoon.
Customer: “Excuse me.”
Me: “Yes, how can I help you?”
Customer: “Where is the exit?”
We are literally standing in front of the main gate.
Me: “Umm, actually sir, it’s right here.”
Customer: “Oh, thank you. I rain is so bad, I just need to get out of it.”

Unfiltered Story #150938

, , , | Unfiltered | May 14, 2019

Waitress: Hi, I have a customer who wants an extra dish of the white sauce
Me: (dish up some alfredo and send it to the table)
Waitress: (carrying alfredo sauce) He doesn’t want alfredo. He wants the white marinara sauce.
Me: The white sauce is alfredo sauce. Marinara sauce is made from tomatoes, which are red. Not white. There is not such thing as a white marinara sauce.
Waitress: He says he’s had it on fettuccine before.
Me: That’s alfredo sauce.

Efficiently Pointing Out Maleficent

, , , , , | Working | January 22, 2019

(It’s the first day of training for my new job at the Disney store. We’re doing “team-building exercises,” which are really just games involving Disney characters in one way or another. One of these games is to write down our favorite character and try to guess whose is whose as the manager reads them off.)

Manager: “Cinderella.”

(Two people are pointed at, and one is correct.)

Manager: “Lumiere.”

(Three people get pointed at, and once again, one is correct.)

Manager: “Maleficent.”

(EVERYONE points at me.)

Me: “We’ve only known each other for TEN MINUTES! And yeah, that was me.”

(This was several years before the Maleficent movie came out; I’m pretty sure it’s a more common answer nowadays.)

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