Efficiently Pointing Out Maleficent

, , , , , | Working | January 22, 2019

(It’s the first day of training for my new job at the Disney store. We’re doing “team-building exercises,” which are really just games involving Disney characters in one way or another. One of these games is to write down our favorite character and try to guess whose is whose as the manager reads them off.)

Manager: “Cinderella.”

(Two people are pointed at, and one is correct.)

Manager: “Lumiere.”

(Three people get pointed at, and once again, one is correct.)

Manager: “Maleficent.”

(EVERYONE points at me.)

Me: “We’ve only known each other for TEN MINUTES! And yeah, that was me.”

(This was several years before the Maleficent movie came out; I’m pretty sure it’s a more common answer nowadays.)

It’s Not Big Easy Staying Alive

, , , , , | Right | December 8, 2018

(In 2012, I’m getting ready to move to Louisiana with my boyfriend, and as the moving date gets closer, I’m excited enough that I’ve started yapping about it to customers every so often. Most of them have fairly generic, “Good for you,” “Have fun,” and, “Aw, romance,” type responses. Some of them suggest specific restaurants and attractions I should visit if I’m in the right area. However, one guy’s advice sticks out to me in particular.)

Customer: “Stay away from New Orleans. That’s a murder city.”

(My now-husband’s father lives in New Orleans, and we visit him regularly. I’m pretty sure I haven’t been murdered yet.)

Mexipino

, , , , , | Right | October 16, 2018

(I work at the deli department in a grocery store. I am part Filipino and part white. Everyone thinks that I’m Mexican. I am currently the only one in the department; my other coworker is on lunch. A customer stares at me and then stares at the hot case.)

Customer: *speaking loudly and slowly* “UNO. BURRITO. POR FAVOR.”

Me: “One burrito? Did you want the bean and cheese, or the chicken and rice?”

Customer: “Don’t you talk to me, you [Mexican slur]! Think you’re smarter than me? I’m tired of your people coming over the border and taking our jobs. Go back where you came from.”

Me: “I’d love to go back to Hawaii where I was born; the military hospital is really nice, so I have heard.”

Customer: “So, an islander, huh? Hawaii isn’t part of the US, idiot.”

Me: “So, bean and cheese, or chicken and rice?”

Flipped Their Last Bird

, , , , , , , , | Learning | August 11, 2018

I have severe motor skill impediments, which includes an inability to lift parts of my hands independently. In gym class, there are two teachers; one is hated as she is extremely strict, rude, and generally not nice.

We are playing soccer out on the field, and the opposing team is a group of bullies who are well-known for accusing people of things they didn’t do. My team has just scored a goal, and the bullies, who dislike me a lot, run up to the teacher, claiming that I flipped them off. The teacher, who also dislikes me due to my lack of athletic ability, immediately yells at me, while I try to explain to her what really happened.

She sends me to the discipline secretary, who is a notoriously cranky woman who loves her job and hates kids. Upon hearing what the teacher said, she writes a referral, and tells me to sign it.

I stubbornly refuse to sign it, as I have done nothing wrong.

They call my dad in, and, when they had explain the “situation” to him, he tells me to do something any student would love to do: flip the teacher off. I do so, or try to; due to my motor skill problems, I cannot lift my middle finger by itself. Upon seeing this, the principal decides that I am telling the truth.

The bullies get detention for lying to the principal. After a full investigation, which includes several union reps, the teacher is reprimanded, and fired the next year. Turns out that this is not her first lying incident to cover for her favorite students.

Unfiltered Story #113846

, , | | Unfiltered | June 6, 2018

(I work at a paint store. I wasn’t working, but one evening we got a call from a frantic lady saying we needed to tint some product we had never heard of. The only thing that employee said is that we can try it, but we can’t guarantee it.

I hear of this story the next morning when I come in for my shift. The lady calls again a little later and speaks with the assistant manager, who basically tells her the same thing: it’s a product we don’t know, it’s clear so we can’t tint it completely white like she wants, and we cannot guarantee it, even though she wants us to. My assistant manager says we can try it if they bring it in, but is sure to tell her we canNOT guarantee the product will come out the way they want or work the same way. The lady is angry but agrees.

The next day, a man comes in like he owns the place. He demands we tint all of the product he brought, orders us around like we’re his employees, and tries to tell us how to do our jobs. We go out to his car to get the product and find it’s in weird 3.5 gallon buckets, which we cannot tint reliably OR shake in our paint can shakers. We tell him we just can’t do it.)

Entitled man: I cannot BELIEVE you would tell us you would guarantee that this would work. I want your number, your manager’s number, your sales rep’s number, your regional manager’s number, and corporate’s number! You’re going to hear from me again!

(We awkwardly pack all of his product back into his car and he leaves in a huff. The rest of the day is spent in quiet, awkward stress, and randomly shaking our heads going “Geez. People!!”)

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